By Patrick Nixon
Perky the Pig seems to have the wrong idea of what Christmas is about.
Pat
Perky (puppet)
Pat: Hi Perky, what's up.
Perky: Christmas is up. The stores have decorations. The Christmas tree is up. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I'm so excited. Presents, presents, presents.
Pat: Yes, I'm starting to get the Christmas spirit. Maybe in couple of weeks I will start my Christmas shopping.
Perky: What are you going to get me?
Pat: I'll get you an invitation to a ham sandwich .
Perky: Ham? (Squeals and disappears)
Pat: Perky. Perky. PERKY!!!
(Perky pops back up)
Perky: You are mean to me. I'll bet that you don't threaten your son with a ham sandwich. You don't have the Christmas spirit.
Pat: You are right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have threatened you with a ham sandwich.
Perky: So does that mean you are going to get me a present?
Pat: Presents for a pig?.
Perky: Pigs want everything!!! I want a game box. I want CD/s. I want designer clothes. I WANT EVERYTHING!!
Pat: Designer clothes for a pig?
Perky: Hey, I'm a with it pig.
Pat: Perky you really are a pig.
Perky: I'd rather be a pig than to have a bald spot on the back of my head.
Pat: What I mean is that you sound so greedy.
Perky: And how else are you supposed to be at Christmas?
Pat: Maybe Christian?
Perky: Say what?
Pat: Perky, don't you even know what Christmas is about?
Perky: It is about getting presents. Don't you watch television? What are you going to get me?
Pat: Perky, Christmas isn't about getting presents. It is about Jesus. At Christmas we celebrate that Jesus was born. He is our savior. In a stable in Bethlehem God came to be with us as a little baby.
Perky: So where do the presents come in?
Pat: Well, if you must talk about presents - the Wise Men - the Magi gave gifts to the Christ child because he was so special. We give gifts to those who are special to us.
Perky: Aren't I special to you? Don't you want to give me a present?
Pat: Perky - you are special. Maybe I will even do some Christmas shopping for you.
Perky: (Squeals and disappears - peeks back up w/ card in mouth)
Pat: (Takes card)
Perky: Merry Christmas.
Pat: What's this? For me?
Perky: Yeah, you are kind of special to me - even if you are going bald.
Pat: Perky, I feel a hug coming on.
Perky: Don't even think about it. (Pause) Well, aren't you going to open it?
Pat: (Opens it) Perky, you shouldn't have. (Pause) It's a gift certificate to Perky; Kentucky Fried CHICKEN!! Thanks Perky, and Merry Christmas to you too.
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Copyright Patrick Nixon, all rights reserved.
This script may be used without royalty payment, provided no charge is made
for admission to the performance. In return for free use, the author would like
to be told of any performance. He may be contacted at nixon748@cox.net