The richest man in the kingdom

By John Fewings

Summary

To avoid the consequences of a prophecy that the richest man in the kingdom will die that night, the King gives away all his money, with an unexpected result.

Characters

Villager 1
Villager 2
King
Queen
Servants (2)
Advisers (3)

Script

(SCENE ONE: A country road. Enter two yokels.)
VILLAGER 1:  Have you 'eard?
VILLAGER 2:  Heard what?
VILLAGER 1:  What they're saying.
VILLAGER 2:  Saying where?
VILLAGER 1.. Down in the village.
VILLAGER 2:  Our village?
VILLAGER 1:  That's right.
VILLAGER 2:  No, what are they saying?
VILLAGER 1:  They do say that the richest man in the kingdom will die at midnight tonight.
VILLAGER 2:  Really?
VILLAGER 1:  Really.
VILLAGER 2:  How can they be sure?
VILLAGER 1:  They always are.
VILLAGER 2:  Ooo aarh.
VILLAGER 1:  The villagers.
VILLAGER 2:  (puzzled) Pardon?
VILLAGER 1:  Granted.
VILLAGER 2:  The richest man in the kingdom, you say?
VILLAGER 1:  That's right.
VILLAGER 2:  Will die tonight?
VILLAGER 1:  That's right.
VILLAGER 2:  At midnight?
VILLAGER 1:  That's right.
VILLAGER 2:  Well, it won't be me, that's for sure.
VILLAGER l:  Me neither.
(They walk off together, chuckling)

SCENE TWO

(The King's palace. The KING and QUEEN are sat on thrones with SERVANTS scurrying to obey Lheir every command.)
KING:  Bring me a grape!
SERVANT 1:  Yes, your majesty. (Hurries to do so.)
KING:  Peel it for me!
SERVANT 1:  Yes, your majesty. (Peels qrape and presents it to king)
KING: Well, eat it for me.
SERVANT 1: (Looks puzzled) Yes, your majesty. (Shrugs and eats grape.)
SERVANT 2: (Running in) Your majesty, your majesty, bad news'
KING: What?! Bad news? The prince hasn't craashed the royal carriage, has he?
SERVANT 2: No, your majesty.
KING. Oh good.
SERVANT 2: It's worse than that.
KING: (Aghast and spluttering) He wants to marry a commoner?!
SERVANT 2: No your majesty. Worse than that.
KING: Worse?!
SERVANT 2: They do say, your majesty, down in the village, your majesty, that the richest man in the kingdom ... (pauses)... will die at midnight tonight.
(The QUEEN faints. Servants hurry to attend)
KING: (Stunned) The richest, man ... in the kingdom ... midnight. Tonight ... oooh ... call my advisers.
SERVANT 2: Call the king's advisers.
SERVANT 1: Call the king's advisers.
(Offstage - "Call the king's advisers" ... "Call ... the king's advisers" etc. Enter the king's advisers, who stand in a huddle together.)
KING: (looking dejected, to SERVANT 2.) Tell them.
SERVANT 2: It has come to his majesty's attention - from the village – that the richest man in the kingdom will die at midnight tonight.
ADVISERS: Oh dear ... terrible ... awful ... what a shame ... shocking, etc.
ADVISER 1: (Suddenly realising) But, your majesty, that's you!
ADVISER 2: That's right.
ADVISER 3: What are you going to do about it?
KING. Idiots! That's what I've called you here for. You're my advisers. Advise me!
(The ADVISERS go into a murmuring huddle as they discuss the matter.)
KING:  Well?
ADVISER 1: We think you should make a will.
KING: (hits Adviser on head with sceptre.) Think again, numbskulls.
(The ADVISERS go into a murmuring huddle as they discuss the matter again.)
KING: Well?
ADVISER 2: There is one idea, your majesty ... if you were NOT the richest man in the Kingdom then you wouldn't die at midnight tonight.
KING: No, but I am!.
ADVISER 3: Unless you were to ... (hesitates) ... give it away.
KING:  Give it away!
(The QUEEN faints. SERVANTS hurry to attend.)
ADVISER 1: Yes, your majesty. After all. would you rather be poor - or dead.
KING: Dead! ... no ... poor ... no, dead ... I'd rather be ALIVE ... and RICH!
ADVISER 2: And so you shall be, your majesty. When we said "give away" we didn't mean "give away" so much as ... "give away."
KING:  (Not understanding in the least) Pardon?
ADVISER 2: Thank you, your majesty.
KING:  What are you on about?
ADVISER 2: Well, if your majesty were to give away his riches ... to “someone" ... then that "someone" would be, the richest man in the kingdom ... and that "someone" would die at midnight tonight
KING:  With my money!
(The QUEEN faints. SERVANTS hurry to attend.)
ADVISER 2: But, your majesty, he couldn't take it with him. Tomorrow morning you could go and collect it from "someone" and ...
KiNG: I'd still be the richest man im the kingdom ... and still alive! Brilliant!
ADVISER 2: Thank you, your majesty.
KING:  What time is it?
ADVISER 3: Six o'clock. your majesty.
KING:  Well ... don't just stand there. Give it, all away!
(The QUEEN faints. SERVANTS hurry to attend.)
ADVISER 1: Who to, your majesty?
KING:  To this "someone" you keep going on about.
ADVISER 1: But which someone?
KING: I don't know. Someone nobody will miss. (All think hard) Someone like ... Old George.
(All exit, congratulating one another, etc.)

SCENE THREE

(The palace. Nearly midnight.. The KING and QUEEN sit on their thrones. The ADVISERS huddle nearby. A DOCTOR with stethoscope etc.. is in constant attendance on the KING. The SERVANTS watch from a distance.)
KING:  What time is it?
ADVISER 1: Five minutes to midnight, your majesty.
KING:  (To doctor) How am I?
DOCTOR:  Fine, fine, your majesty.
KINC:  Has it all been seen to?
ADVISER 2: Yes, your majesty, everything is under control.
(Pause)
KING: What time is it?
ADVISER 1: Four, minutes to midnight, your majesty.
KING: (To doctor, worried. ) How am I?
DOCTOR: Fine, fine, your majesty.
KING: You did give ALL of it away?
ADVISER 2: Yes, your majesty, every last gold piece.
(Pause)
KING: What time is it?
ADVISER 1: Three minutes to midnight, your majesty.
KING: (To doctor, more worried. ) How am I?
DOCTOR: Fine, fine, your majesty.
KING: (to Adviser.) Do you think he suspected anything?
ADVISER 2: Who, your majesty?
KIM (Whispering) Old George.
ADVISER 2: No, your majesty, not a thing.
(Pause)
KING: What time is it?
ADVISER 1: Two minutes to midnight, your majesty.
KING: (To doctor, very worried.) How am 1?
DOCTOR: Fine, fine, majesty.
KING: He is definitely the richest man in the kiingdom, isn't he?
ADVISER 2: Of a surety, your majesty.
(Pause)
KING: What time is it?
ADVISER 1: One minute to midnight, your, majesty.
KING: (To doctor, panicking.) How am I?
DOCTOR: Fine, fine, your majesty.
KING: You are sure? Everything's alright, isn't it?
ADVISER 2: Certainly, your majesty.
KING: (Weakly) Oooh.
KING: What time is it?
(BONG, BONG, ... etc. Everyone freezes. All eyes turn to look at the
KING. The KING is horror-stricken. At the twelfth "BONG" the QUEEN
faints. As the KING realises he is alright, he tries to resume
an air of bravado. The SERVANTS applaud.  The ADVISERS mop their
brows.)
ADVISER 3: I suggest, your majesty, that we all get a good night's rest.
KING: A jolly good idea.
(All exit.)

SCENE FIVE

(Outside Old George's cottage. A cock crows to indicate morning. The KING and QUEEN arrive, attended by their SERVANTS. The ADVISERS fuss behind them. The KING, once more his usual commanding self, strides to the door of the cottage and knocks. There is no answer. The KING knocks again.)
KING: He doesn't appear to be ... (realises) Oh.
ADVISER 3: Allow me, your majesty.
(ADVISER 3 opens the cottage door and goes inside. A moment or two passes. ADVISER 3 comes out and hastily confers with ADVISER 1 and ADVISER 2. They all go back inside. After a moment or two they come out again, sheepishly.)
KING:  Well?
ADVISER 1:  It's not there, your, majesty.
KING:  But it must be. You did deliver it?
ADVISER 2:  Yes, your majesty.
KING:  This is the right house?
ADVISER 3:  Yes, your majesty.
KING:  Stand aside.
(The KING goes into the cottage to look for himself. While all this has been going on, the two VILLAGERS have come onstage and are watching with interest.)
KING:  (Coming out, dazed and unbelieving) It's not there ... no
treasure ... no gold ... no silver ... no jewels ... just ... (whispers) his body.
(The QUEEN faints. SERVANTS hurry to attend.)
VILLAGER 1:  What you lost then?
KING:  (Groaning) My money ... all my lovely treasure.
VILLAGER 2:  Was it in five big sacks?
KING:  Yes!
VILLAGER 1:  And was they tied up with red string?
KING:  Yes!
VILLAGER 2:  And was they full of ejold and silver and jewels and things?
KING:  Yes!
VILLAGER 1 & VILLAGER 2: (Looking at each other knowingly) Aaarh.
KING:  What do you mean, "Aaarh'? Do you know where it is?
VILLAGER 1:  Yes. I've got it ... well, a tiny bit of it.
VILLAGER 2: And me ... well, a bit.
VILLAGER 1:  And Albert.
VILLAGER 2:  And Betty.
VILLAGER 1:  And Charlie.
VILLAGER 2:  And Davey.
VILLAGER 1:  And Ethel.
VILLAGER 2:  And Fred.
VILLAGER 1:  And Ginger.
VILLAGER 2:  And Harold.
KING:  Stop! Stop! What is going on?
VILLAGER 1:  (Confidentially) Well, you see, last night, I was tucked up in my bed all warm and snug-like, when I hears this knock on the door and it's old George.
VILLAGER 2:  That's right. He come to me, too.
VILLAGER 1: And Albert.
VILLAGER 2: And Betty.
VILLAGER 1: And Charlie.
VILLAGER 2: And Davey.
VILLAGER 1: And Fthel.
VILLAGER 2: And Fred.
KING. Yes, yes. Get on with it.
VILLAGER 1: Well, Old George comes inside and he tells me he's come into a bit of money rather sudden ... and he wants to share his good fortune ... so will I be so good as to accept a bit of' it?
VILLAGER 2: That's right. That's what he said to me.
VILLAGER 1: And Albert.
VILLAGER 2: And Betty.
VILLAGER 1: And Charlie.
VILLAGER 2: And Davey.
KING: Oh no ... he's given it all away!
(The QUEEN faints. SERVANTS hurry to attend.)
KING: (Begins to weep uncontrollably, then realises)  But wait a minute ... he couldn't. The richest man in the kingdom! The prophecy said "the richest man in the kingdom" would die at midnight. But, if he'd given all my money away, he couldn't be.
VILLAGER 1: (Reflective) Oh, I don't know. Old George always used to say to me -  reckon I'm the richest man in the kingdom. I haven't got a lot," he would say, "but I've got a roof over my head, food for my belly, and I'm at peace with the Lord."
VILLAGER 2: "I reckon I'm the richest man in the kingdom," he used to say. And do you know what ... (pauses)
EVERYBODY:  What?
VILLAGER 2: I reckon he was right!
(The QUEEN faints. Nobody can be bothered with her. Exit all.)

© Copyright John Fewings, all rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: 50 Howdale Road, Hull, HU8 9JZ, UK. Email: fewings@fewings.karoo.co.uk