The Christmas Report. 

By Brian Alleyne

Summary
How would events turn out if the Christmas story and related events were covered by a major news network like CNN or BBC? 

Cast:
12 Male cast members
5 female and 
4 male or female ones plus extras, 

Main cast
Anchors 1 – either male or female
Anchor 2- either male or female
Street reporter (either)
Stage manager (either)

Minor cast
Caesar Augustus (m)
Nazarite woman and her child (2 f)
Fisherman (m)
Neighbour- m
Inn keeper-m
Inn Keepers Son-m
Wiseman-m
Anna-f
Woman from Bethlehem-f
Woman’s Daughter-f
Servant of Herod/Witness-e
Shepherd 1(m)
Shepherd 2(m)
Malachi (m)

Extras (non speaking)- 
Caesar’s servants
Neighbours wife and children
Staff and guests at inn
People to work in newsroom
Clean up crew at the studios

Duration:  approximately 40 minutes.

Script

Narrator - When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, it was one of the most important events in history and news spread far and wide even though there were no news stations or news papers to report in. But imagine if there were….

(Typical news scene, 2 news anchors sitting behind table, stage dark)

Voice over- Live from Jerusalem City TV Studios, Jerusalem. It’s the JCTV News Report. We go now, live to our anchors, Anchor1 and Anchor2 in the News zone.

Anchor1 (stage lights up) Good evening to all our viewers and welcome to the JCTV News Report. Your definitive source for all events, both in Jerusalem and around the known world. If we don’t report it, chances are, it didn’t happen. I’m Anchor1

Anchor2- And I’m Anchor2. Our first story for the evening takes us to Nineveh, Assyria, where Queen Sheba, a wife of King Xerses the 3rd, has reportedly been kidnapped by bandits while on her way to a royal visit to Arabia. No contact with the bandits has been made but when asked about his feelings about the matter, her husband, King Xerses had this to say. Quote- Who? Oh that one, No worry, I’ve got about 35 other wives so it’s not like I’m gonna miss her or anything.  End quote.

Anchor1- Quite the devoted husband isn’t he? Our 2nd story takes us to Samaria, Palestine. Where Joshua, son of Abinadab, who is considered to be the world’s oldest living man reached his 323rd birthday today. To celebrate the occasion, his relatives decided to throw him a surprise birthday party at his home. Unfortunately, in so doing, they learned a valuable lesson - never startle a 300-year-old man with a bad heart. Anyone wishing to attend the funeral, have been asked to note that it will be held on Wednesday at 5.

Anchor2- (sad expression) That, poor, poor old man. (changes expression instantly) Now on to sports. In Ramses, Egypt, the 1st ever Egyptian Open Swim Meet was held along the River Nile. The race, which attracted swimmers from all 4 corners of the globe, required all 100 participants to attempt to reach the river’s North Bank in the fastest time. However, it ended abruptly when none of them reached their intended destination. When asked if the race would be held again next year, Arkanaris Tut, Egyptian Minister of Sports had this to say: Quote – Yes, and next time we’ll be sure to use a river without any crocodiles. End quote.

Anchor1- Now onto our main story. Earlier today, Caesar Augustus, Imperial Leader of The Roman Empire, made an official decree to all of his subjects throughout the world. We will now play a pre-recorded version of this address.

Scene 1
(Scene changes, Caesar Augustus is richly dressed lounging on a couch being fanned and fed by slaves) 

Caesar Augustus- Greetings, lesser beings. It is I your Divine Leader, Caesar Augustus, with some news that you, my faithful slaves will be no doubt glad to hear. (is handed scroll and glasses maybe??) It has been brought to Caesar Augustus’s attention that the Imperial Treasury has reached a dangerously low level, probably due to Caesar Augustus’s latest divorce settlement/ palace refurbishment and to rectify this Caesar Augustus, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that someone must restock it, namely all of you. (points to audience) Effective immediately, there will be a worldwide tax on all citizens of the Roman Empire, straight from Assyria down to Zanzibar. To make sure this process runs smoothly, we must first know exactly how many of you are out there, so before the taxation begins, all persons must be registered and counted in a census. For maximum efficiency, all persons must be registered at the land of their birth within the next 3 months so we can know who you are and where you came from. This rule will make the process easy for those who currently live where they were born, but for those who do not, and have to make long journeys back home, wellll tough luck.  Persons failing to comply will be harshly punished. These punishments include, but are not limited to - being whipped, stoned, boiled in oil, burnt, and fed to my pet lions. That will be all for now. Thank you and have a nice day.(returns to relaxed stance)

(switches back to newscast)

Anchor1- Wow, what an announcement. Talk about your world changing events. Aren’t you glad that you were born here in Jerusalem ?

Anchor 2- You got that right. Now such an announcement would be obviously met with mixed public reaction. So in order to see what people think about it, we sent out our roving reporter Streetreporter  to get a few opinions. Are you there Streetreporter ?

Scene 2
(scene changes to a road view, 2 houses are in the background)

Streetreporter - Yes Anchor1, I hear you loud and clear. I’m here in Nazareth, a small town close to the Sea of Galilee. Right now things seem a bit quiet but I’m sure the residents have a lot to say about Caesar Augustus’ recent decree. (sees a woman walking, goes to her)

Streetreporter - Excuse me ma’am, I’m Streetreporter of JCTV News, and I’m here in your town, interviewing people about their opinions about the decree from Rome about the worldwide  tax and census. What do you think?

Woman- Well, I don’t really like the whole idea of having to go get registered just to pay money, but it’s not like I have a choice in the matter. At least, I’m a home town girl.

Streetreporter - Really?

Woman- Yup, thank God, I was born and raised here in good ol’ Nazareth so I don’t have to travel at all to get registered. Any way I’m on my way to do so now, so I gotta go before a crowd gathers.

Streetreporter - Ok, thank you ma’am.(woman walks off) Now let’s get some more (looks around, loud raucous man walks up)  Excuse me sir, I’m Streetreporter from JCTV News, can I get  your opinion on…

Man- (smitten) Well, hey there, sweet thing. You can have my surname if you want. What’s a lovely lady like you doing up here in Nazareth.

Streetreporter (annoyed)- I’m Streetreporter from JCTV News and I’m asking people about their opinions on the census and how they’re coping with it.

Man- Well, I’m Nadab, aka, the best thing that ever happened to you and I’m a fisherman from the coast.

Streetreporter- I can smell- I mean see that.

Man- (didn’t notice it) So while I hate travelling as much as anyone else, it’s not like I have a choice about it, huh?

Streetreporter (unimpressed)- No you don’t.

Man- But it’s not much bother, I didn’t have to travel too far to get here. Besides it’s a great opportunity to come visit all my old buddies that I grew up with, (looks at camera and shouts) Like my buddy, Abihu. What’s upppp!!!!

Streetreporter- That’s nice.

Man (comes closer to her)-Not as half as nice as you. So, honey what do you think about becoming a fisherman’s wife?

Streetreporter (angrily)-  You know what I think? I think, that before you come so close to me you should try using some soap.

Man-(puzzled) Soap? What’s that??

 Streetreporter (flabberghasted) It’s something you use when you take a bath?

Man (still puzzled)- Bath??? What’s a bath?? (Streetreporter just stares) Look if you gonna come to me with all of that crazy talk, I’m outta here. I can’t deal with you freaky city women. (walks off muttering) Soap, what’s…

Streetreporter (disbelievingly)- They don’t pay me enough for this job!! (snaps back to character)Anyway, (looks around) I don’t see anyone else (looks up at houses in background) Let’s try that house over there. Hmm, wood, nails. Looks like a carpenter lives here. (walks up and starts knocking)  Hello, JCTV News. (no reply, eventually a Neighbour looks out)

Neighbour- Hey, no one’s there, they left about an hour ago to go register. 

Streetreporter.- Oh, really? So who lives there?

Neighbour- (walks outside) Oh, Mary and Joseph. Newlywed couple. Nice folks, despite all the talk.

Streetreporter(curiously)- Talk what talk? If you don’t mind me asking?

Neighbour- Pretty inquisitive aren’t you?

Streetreporter- I am a reporter.

Neighbour- (thinks) Fair enough.  There was a whole lot of hullabaloo about her getting pregnant while she was still a virgin and him wanting to cancel the wedding and then changing his mind. A big mess, but I’m not really interested in that stuff. If you want the whole story go ask my wife. She’s an expert on OPB.

Streetreporter- OPB? what does that stand for??

Neighbour-  Other peoples Business.

Streetreporter- Sounds like my kind of lady. But anyway, where did they go?

Neighbour- He’s from Bethlehem, so that’s where they’re headed now. 

Streetreporter(shocked)- Bethlehem??? That’s over 100 miles from here.

Neighbour- I know. What’s worse is that she’s expecting a baby soon from now.

Streetreporter.- Really, well that’s too bad. So sir, what’s your opinion of the census and all?

Neighbour (annoyed)- Oh, I heard a bit about it. To me, its utter nonsense.

Streetreporter.- Really, why do you say so??

Neighbour- Look at my clothes. Can you guess where me and my family are from? 

Streetreporter (thinks)- Umm. Samaria???

Neighbour – No!! Algeria. As in North Africa!!!

Streetreporter.-(surprised) Oh wow. 

Neighbour- (angry) Oh wow is right. To get home, I gotta cross 2 deserts, a mountain range and the whole Mediterranean Sea. Now how does his “Imperial Majesty” expect me to do that with my wife and all my children. Is he crazy!!!!!. I’m not going anywhere !!!! 

Streetreporter.- Well sir, I can see why you’d be upset about it. But I guess you didn’t hear the whole decree.

Neighbour- (fuming) Oh yeah???? Why do you say so??

Streetreporter- Because it also says that persons failing to comply will be (pulls list from pocket) whipped, stoned, boiled in oil, burnt and fed to Caesar’s pet lions.

Neighbour-(starts to tremble) LLLLLL-ions, I didn’t hear about no lions.

Streetreporter.- I didn’t think so. So are you still staying???

Neighbour(frightened)- Staying? You crazy. I’m outta here. (calls inside house) Chinue (Chin-weigh) Pack it up? We going back to Africa. (a pregnant wife, runs out holding bags, followed by many, many  children, reporter watches in amazement)

Streetreporter (after pause) - On that note, here’s where I sign out.  Back to you guys in the studio (returns to studio scene).

Anchor1- And here’s where we end this evening’s broadcast. From JCTV studios, this is Anchor1.

Anchor2- and Anchor2, Wishing you a pleasant evening. Goodnight.
 
(few second pause)

Stage manager- And cut.(walks on) That’s a wrap people nice job guys.

(both reporters can completely change personalities, one can act ghettoish etc)

 Anchor1- Thanks Carl.

Stage Manager- No prob. By the way, I just got a memo from head office. They want us to follow the Census story till the end as a special package. They’re thinking of calling it  Censuswatch B.C.

Anchor2 (annoyed)- Oh great!!! More work. 3 months of interviews and statistics. Oh how I tremble with anticipation. What does B.C stand for anyway???

Anchor1- I dunno??? (thinks ) Beta Carotene?? Anyway stop whining. It’s not as if anything interesting has happened as of late.

Anchor2- What do you mean?

Anchor1- Think about it. There’s been less crime since the Romans took over and we haven’t  had a prophet since when? Malachi? And that was over 400 years ago. Things have been plain boring.

Anchor2- (agreeing) Yeah, well.

Anchor1- Think of it as a career boost. Or would you rather be covering stories about old men having heart attacks.

Anchor2- You’re right. You know you always see the bright side of things.

Anchor1- Call it a gift. But something is telling me that this census is just the start. That something much bigger and better is yet to come.

Anchor2- We’ll see. Anyway I’m off. See you tomorrow.

Anchor 1 – Bye (both walk off in opposite directions) 

Scene 3 (intro Same newscast scene i.e reporters behind their desk)

Anchor1- Good evening and welcome to another edition of the JCTV News report. Those of you who have been following our broadcasts for the past few weeks, will know that we have been following the currently ongoing global Census. Our aim is to show you how this event is affecting the different members of society.

Anchor2- That’s right Anchor1. Now, while many people aren’t too pleased with the census, there is one group of people which is certainly delighted about it- the business owners. Businesses all over the region are reporting booming profits due to the increased movement of people. We go now to one such establishment- The Star of David Inn in Bethlehem.

(Streetreporter is standing in a hotel lobby, standing with manager, people could be walking in and out in the background to give the appearance of things being busy)
 
Streetreporter- Thank you Anchor2. I am in the lobby of the Star of David Inn with its manager Innkeeper and as you can see, things are pretty hectic here. So tell us, sir, how has you business been affected by Caesar’s decree?

Innkeeper- Affected? More like improved. I’ve been having triple the customers I usually have this time of year. People from all over the world have been coming here to stay and I’m more than glad to facilitate them, for a reasonable fee of course.

Streetreporter- Of course. Have you been having any problem with overcrowding?

Innkeeper- No, of course not. My business is the largest inn in the area, we’ve got plenty of space.

Streetreporter- Great. So is there anything you want to say to all of our viewers out there throughout the world

Innkeeper- Yes. Don’t mind if I do. Hey everyone. If you’re passing through Bethlehem, be sure to stop at the Star of David- The finest inn in Israel, if not the whole world. We guarantee our customers a hot meal, a soft bed and great service….
(small boy comes on)

Boy- Um daddy?

Innkeeper- In a minute, Boaz. We’re located in the centre of Bethlehem town square. You can’t miss it and…..

Boy(anxious)- But DAD.

Innkeeper (annoyed but not wanting to show it on camera)- Not now !!!!!(gently pushes him off camera) And we’ll be glad to serve you, for a reasonable price..

Boy (comes back on)- But DADDY. (father looks at him angrily)

Streetreporter- Well, there you have it folks- The Star of David Inn. One of the many areas you can stay if you happen to be in Bethlehem for the census. This is Streetreporter, back to you in the studio….(waits a few seconds, expression to serious) And cut.  Ok people, I’ve been on the road for 3 straight days. I need some coffee and a bath now people!!! Or heads will roll!!!! (walks off)

Innkeeper- Really? We’re off camera??? Good. (looks at son, angrily) How many times have I told you not to disturb me when I’m doing business? (grabs him) Where’s my belt?

Boy- (afraid) But, daddy, mummy sent me to tell you we’re out of rooms.

Innkeeper- (shocked) What???

Boy- Yes. We just gave out the last one five minutes ago.

Innkeeper- What ?!!? And I just told all those people to come in. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?? I should lick you? Where’s my belt?

Boy- And we got 2 customers who want a room now.

Innkeeper- Who?? Anybody important looking.

Boy- No. Just a man and a woman from Nazareth. And Mummy thinks the woman’s going to get a baby soon.

Innkeeper- (thinks for a while) Ah, tell your mother to have the servants to move the animals from the stables, clean it up and let them use it.

Boy- For free??

Innkeeper- No, of course not for free, boy, Let her tell them it’s one of our deluxe Country Suites  and charge them double for using it, ok?

Boy- Ok. But what if she has the baby???

Innkeeper- Ummm. Let her use the manger of something?

Boy- Ok daddy (runs off)
  
Innkeeper-  Ahh nothing like doing a good deed……. and profiting from it? (walks off laughing)

Scene 4  
(Studio Scene- reporter 2 is sitting in a chair in centre of stage, may change it to outside scene)

 Anchor2- Good evening everyone and welcome to a special edition of Up Close and Personal, where we get up close and personal with very special members of society. Over the past couple of weeks we have been telling you about the various people who have been coming to Israel from the 4 corners of the globe. Today we have one such person who has travelled unbelievably far to come here, a Mr (has difficulty pronouncing it) T’Ch… al…la Wa kan. We’ll let him pronounce it. Come on in, sir (man in African garb comes in and sits)

 Anchor2- So Mr …….

Wiseman- Wakanda, T’Challa Wakanda.

 Anchor2- Right. Welcome to the show.

Wiseman- Thank you. It is an honour to be here.

 Anchor2- The pleasure is all mine. Tell us ...sir. We can see from your dress you are not exactly from around these parts. So exactly where are you from???

Wiseman- I am Sudanese by origin. But I currently reside in Babylon.

 Anchor2- And what do you do there?

Wiseman- I am both a teacher and a student of the arts and sciences. Theology, Philosophy and especially Astrology.

 Anchor2- So what brings you here to our little Israel? Have you come to be taxed?

Wiseman-(laughs) No, no. Me and several of my friends have come to Israel to see and worship the King of the Jews.

 Anchor2- (puzzled) Who? King Herod. I’m sure he’ll be flattered. But he’s got plenty of servants for that.

Wiseman- Oh no, no, no. Not that king. I mean the true King. The one prophesised in the Jewish Scripture.

 Anchor2( shocked)- Oh really. Tell me more. If you don’t mind.

Wiseman- Of course not. I’m always happy to talk about the one they called the Messiah. Some time ago, we were back home watching the stars as we usually do, when we noticed one star that was much different than the rest. We were puzzled until one of us realised that it might be the star that was said would lead us to the Messiah.

 Anchor2- I see. I guess you were excited.

Wiseman- Words cannot begin to describe how we felt. So as quickly as we could, we prepared ourselves to travel and began to follow the star which led us to your beautiful country.

 Anchor2- (looks down at box Wiseman brought in) Interesting. And I see you didn’t come empty handed?

Wiseman- Oh that.  Yes. This is a gift I brought to present to the King. We all travelled with something. It’s just some Myrrh. Far less than what the Messiah truly deserves, but it was all I could bring. Josiah brought some gold and Nairob brought some incense as well.

 Anchor2- Now that you’ve reached Israel, what is your plan for finding the Messiah?

Wiseman- Ironically, now we have finally arrived in Israel, we have reached a roadblock so to speak, and we are finding a bit of difficulty exactly locating the child. Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

 Anchor2- I’d like to, but I really have no… (richly dressed man walks in) Who are you?!?!

Messenger - (ignores him, says in proclamation making voice) Hear ye!!! Hear ye!!!!! By order of his Royal Majesty King Herod. Your presence is requested at the palace so that his majesty may seek council with you.

 Anchor2- Well I’m honoured but…..

Messenger- Not you, imbecile. I mean him (points to wiseman) He and his companions’ presence is requested at the palace immediately.

 Anchor2-(angrily) Hey pal, can’t you see we’re trying to do a show here. You can’t just walk in and….

Messenger- Might I remind you that King Herod is not known for his patience or mercy. Now would you like to be held responsible for keeping him waiting???

 Anchor2 (pauses)- Like I always say, “Can’t keep royalty on hold!!! ”So scoot (pushes wiseman off of stage) This is Anchor2 from JCTV thanking you for watching another edition of “Up Close and Personal”.

Stagemanager (walks on with Anchor1) Great job again people. Now huddle. (everyone surrounds him) As you know, our ratings have skyrocketed since we began coverage of the census. But I think we’re onto something here that’ll take us to the moon.

Anchor2 What? The Messiah?

Stagemanager - Exactly. There’ll be more censuses, but the coming of the Messiah is a once in a lifetime thing. So head office wants us to give it maximum coverage, interviews, exposés, the works. Everyone following?

All- Yes.

Stagemanager- So go home and get a good rest people. We got one heck of a month coming. Ok (walks off)

Anchor1- Gotcha. Chief . See what I told you Anchor2. Something big is gonna happen. But I wonder how Herod is gonna take this news?

Anchor2- We’ll see Anchor2, We’ll see. (both walk off)

Scene 5
(Anchor1 sitting in chair, woman sitting across a table from him/her, several scrolls on the table)

Anchor1- Good evening and welcome to another edition of ‘For Your Information.” Ever since we reported that the Messiah has been born somewhere in Israel, we have been getting tons of letters from all over the country asking various questions about the Messiah and His purpose. Since we at JCTV always aim to keep our viewers well informed, we’ve brought in an expert to discuss these queries. Ms Anna, daughter of Phanuel.(points to guest) Welcome to the show ma’am.

Anna- Thank you. It’s a blessing to be here? But please call me Anna.

Anchor1- For the sake of our viewers, Anna, please explain what exactly do you do, and how do you know so much about the Messiah.

Anna- Well you see, I’m a prophetess and I have studied scripture and prophesy for many years, and among them are those about the Messiah.

Anchor1- Good. Let’s get on to some of these letters shall we. (reaches down and picks one up) And you viewers, if you wish to write in and ask Anna any questions you can reach us at the address on your screen (person comes down holding up a sign with Hebrew words on it)Here we have one from Salome in Gaza who asks, “ Dear JCTV What does the word “Messiah” mean?  Anna?

Anna- Ah a very good question, Salome. The word Messiah means “Anointed one” and He is to be God’s chosen one, God’s own Son actually. In the old days, when God chose someone for a special purpose, say to be a King, he’d have His prophet anoint the person’s head with oil as a sign that He had chosen them. For example, Samuel as you may recall did it with King Saul. 

Anchor1- Yes I recall hearing about that. Didn’t he do that with King David as well.

Anna- That is correct. This Messiah will be a great King, the greatest ever, actually, and He will rule over not only God’s people but all men.

Anchor1- I guess that answered that question. Let’s try  another letter. It’s from Isaiah in Bethany. He asks, Dear JCTV, when the Messiah arrives, what exactly will He do? Will he free us from those accursed Romans?? Doesn’t sound too happy, does he?

Anna- (laughs) I was expecting such a question. Many of us here in Israel think that the Messiah will be a warrior who will free us from Roman dominion. But that’s not necessarily true. He will free us, not from anyone, but from our sins.

Anchor1- How so?

Anna- Ever since the beginning, when the serpent tricked Adam and Eve, all of us have been subject to our sinful nature.  A nature which carries the punishment of death. In order for us to avert this punishment, for centuries, we had to sacrifice an animal such as a lamb to cover our sins albeit temporarily.

Anchor1- So where does the Messiah fit in all of this?

Anna- The Messiah will take the place of all of these lambs one day and become the ultimate sacrifice who will free all men, not just us Jews from our sins. 

Anchor1 (a bit surprised) Even the Gentiles?!?

Anna- Even the Gentiles.

Anchor1- Wow. That’s surprising. Well, we’ve got time for just one more question. (takes out 1 more letter) This one is from Joab in Bethany, who asks, “ I’ve heard that there are many old  prophesies describing the Messiah. What do they say?

Anna- Well Joab, you are indeed correct. There are many ancient prophesies from great men like Isaiah, King David, even as far back as Jacob, about the Messiah describing Him and His life. But for the sake of time I’ll only talk about His birth.

Anchor 1- Ok.

Anna- The Messiah will be from the tribe of Judah, from the line of King David and a Nazarene. He’ll also be born of a virgin in the city of Bethlehem.

Anchor1- That’s very interesting. But that’s all the time we have today. I’d like to thank our special guest Anna for coming today. This is Anchor1 wishing you all a pleasant evening.

Stage Manager - And cut. That’s a wrap people (people come on and start disassembling set).

Anchor1- So Anna, I guess you’re really anxious to see the Messiah, huh?

Anna- Not as much as my friend Simon. He’s waited his entire life to do it. The Lord even promised him he wouldn’t die until he saw Him.

Anchor1- Wow. Amazing!!!

Anna- But there’s one thing I’m worried about.

Anchor1- What’s that 

Anna- The prophet Jeremiah made a prediction that said something about there being bitter weeping and a mother lamenting her children. I think it means something bad will happen soon.

Anchor1-(thinks) Maybe, but didn’t the prophets predict a lot of strange stuff?

Anna- Maybe, but one thing I do know is that God’s Word always comes to pass, no matter how unbelievable it might seem. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to the temple for a commemoration. Goodbye. (starts to get up)

Anchor1- Ok. Good bye and thanks again. (Anna walks off, Anchor 1 thinks a bit and then walks off too)

Scene 6  (Intro, both Anchors are sitting in the usual position)

 Anchor1- Good evening and welcome to another edition of the JCTV News Report, where we’re continuing our coverage of both the census and the Messiah’s arrival.

Anchor2- While most of the populace are in suspense as to when the Messiah will make himself known, apparently there are some people who claim to actually have seen Him as well as a couple of other amazing things. We go now to our man on the street Streetreporter, in Bethlehem with this amazing story.

(Scene switches to an outside view, (pasture etc) where Streetreporter is standing alongside 2 shepherds and a small boy could be with them)

Streetreporter- Thank you Anchor2. Bethlehem in the centre of Judea is best known for being the birthplace of King David, considered by many to be the greatest ruler Israel ever had. But it’s not the city we’re concerned with today but rather the outskirts. Here I am in the fields surrounding the city, with 2 gentlemen, who both live and work in the area. Gentlemen tell our audience your names.

Shepherd1- I’m Isaac.

Shepherd2- And I’m Jeremiah.

Streetreporter- And what do you gentlemen do for a living?

Shepherd1- Oh we’re Livestock Care Specialists as well as Mutton and Wool providers 

Streetreporter (puzzled)- What???

Shepherd2- Shepherds.

Streetreporter- And how long have you been doing this?
 
Shepherd1- All of our lives. It’s a family tradition. 

Streetreporter- Have you always wanted to be a shepherd?

Shepherd1- No, I wanted to be a scribe in the temple, but unfortunately I had some difficulties in that regard.

Streetreporter- Really what???

Shepherd1- (hesitatingly) Well….

Shepherd2- He can’t read. (Shepherd1 glares at Shepherd2)

Streetreporter (holds back laughter)-  Anyway, I understand you two saw something very interesting last night. Care to share it with us?

Shepherd1-  Of course. We were all watching our flocks last night. When all of a sudden an angel of the Lord appeared and….

Malachi(voice interrupts him)  That was no angel, I saw it . I saw it allllll?

Shepherd1 (annoyed) Oh no!!!!

Streetreporter- Who’s that??

Shepherd2- Our brother. Malachi. Malachi the Nut. Didn’t you lock him in his room before we left??

Shepherd1 (shocked)- Me !!! I thought you did!!!! Oooh, here he comes. (crazily dressed man comes on stage, must have a basket on his head)

Malachi- (paranoid voice) I saw it all. Those two were fooled but not me!!!! I know the truth!!

Shepherd2- Ok Malachi. That’s enough for today. Let’s go home (goes to grab him).

Streetreporter- (interested) No no, let him talk. I wanna hear this. What did you see? (gives him the mike)

Malachi- Greetings, people of Israel. I am Malachi, with a warning to you all. Those two think they saw an angel, but I know the truth. It wasn’t no angel. It was one of THEM !

Streetreporter- One of who???

Malachi- (looks around) THEM!!!! The Octopus people. From planet Neptune. They are invading Earth and last night they sent down the 1st wave of attackers. 

Streetreporter- (amused) Really?  

Malachi- Yes. It’s a conspiracy. The Romans and King Herod all know about it too. A conspiracy, I say. The Octopus People have gotten to my brothers and they’re gonna get you too. 

Streetreporter- How will they do that???

Malachi- Because of the mind-control rays. They are beaming them down on us from the moon. So they can enslave us. They got to them, already. (points to brothers) But not me. You know why??? You see this on my head?? (points to basket on his head)

Streetreporter- A basket???

Malachi- No!!! Not a basket? It is an Anti Mind Control Helmet. It has protected me from the rays, that’s why they haven’t messed up my mind and I’m perfectly normal.

Reporter (amused) You don’t say.

Malachi- (shouts at audience) People of Earth. Prepare for the apocalypse. They’re coming. Coming for us all. You’re next!!!! (Shepherd2 grabs him and drags him off, he goes off screaming it over and over again)

Streetreporter- (stares for a few seconds) Was he always like that???

Shepherd1- Like what?
 
Streetreporter- So … excitable???

Shepherd1- Oh !! No, not always. He used to be pretty normal. But when he was 8, Jeremiah bet him that he couldn’t beat our father’s prize ram in a butting contest.

Streetreporter- What happened? 

Shepherd1- The ram lost. But Malachi was never the same. Anyway where was I. Oh yeah. We were seated on the ground and an angel of the Lord appeared. We were terrified but the angel told us “Fear not.” And that he brought us great tidings of great joy for all people.

Streetreporter- And what was that?

Shepherd1- That in the city of David, was unto us the Saviour who was Christ the Lord. (Shepherd2 returns) What else did he say Jeremiah???

Shepherd2- That we’d find the Messiah in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes.

Shepherd 1- Oh right.

Streetreporter- So what did you do?

Shepherd1- What do you expect? We got to the city as fast as we could. And there we found Him just like the angel said with his parents in some crummy stable in an inn. What did His mother say His name was again???(thinks)

Shepherd2- It was Jesus.

Shepherd1- Oh right, Jesus. 

Streetreporter- What did you do then ???

Shepherd2- We went around praising God and told anyone we could find what we saw. I mean it was THE Messiah. What else could we do?

Streetreporter- Good point.

Shepherd1- But anyway, we gotta go before Malachi gets out again. Bye. (both walk off)

Streetreporter- There you have it folks - an amazing if unconventional encounter with the Messiah. This is Streetreporter of JCTV News, back to you in the studio
(a few seconds later Malachi runs back a cross screaming “You’re next!!!!!” followed by the shepherds)

Scene 7 (newsdesk)

 Anchor1- Good evening, and welcome to this evening’s edition of the JCTV News Report. It’s been about  2 ½ months since the census started and things seem to be cooling down. Most of the citizens have registered and the majority of the travellers have gone home, but it’d be interesting to see what thoughts they had on the whole ordeal. 

Anchor2-For this reason, we’ve sent Streetreporter onto the streets of Bethlehem to get some opinions on the census, as well as the fact that the Messiah is probably still somewhere in that city. Streetreporter?

Streetreporter- (walking up aisle towards stage, curtains closed) Thank you, Anchor2. As you can see, life here in Bethlehem, which was a hive of activity over the past 2 months, has basically gone back to normal and the people…. (curtains open showing a scene of carnage, and a two women, 1 older 1 younger, the older is sitting crying) Wait, cut the camera. (runs to women) Ma’am, are you ok? (looks around) What happened here????

Older woman- ( tearfully)-I was home playing with, my baby  and then they came.

Streetreporter- Who?? 

Older woman -The soldiers. They just rushed into the house and …and… (bursts out crying).

Younger woman- There, there mother…

Streetreporter- I don’t understand, what did the soldiers do?

Younger woman - They just rushed into the city this morning and started killing all the babies, like what Pharaoh did during the time of Moses.

Streetreporter (shocked) Why???

Younger woman- I don’t know. They gave no reason. All they said was they were following the king’s orders. They killed Aaron, my baby brother, and he was just a few months old. (hangs head) If my father were here, he’d…

Older woman-(angrily) A plague on that murderer Herod. He and his entire house. God will make him pay for this.

Streetreporter- Ma’am (looks around). I’m sorry for your loss but I think I think you two had better leave in case the soldiers come back. (daughter takes mother off Stage, reporter watches them as they leave. Same servant who came earlier to see the wisemen appears secretly.)
 
Servant- Excuse me. I think I may be able to be of assistance. I can tell you exactly why this is happening.

Streetreporter- Hey, I know you. You’re one of Herod’s servants. (suspiciously) Why would  you want to do something like that??? 

Servant (sorrowfully)- I’m ashamed to say that I played a role in this terrible, terrible thing that happened, so it’s the least I can do, I guess.

Streetreporter (thinks)- Ok, I don’t trust you, but the people have a right to know. (looks around) Lets go someplace safer. (Streetreporter and servant walk off together, cautiously)

Scene 8 (Anchor 1 is alone at the news desk)

Anchor 1- Good evening and welcome back to the JCTV News Report. People throughout Israel and the known world are horrified by King Herod’s recent ordering of the massacre of all children under the age of 2 years in Bethlehem and along the adjoining coasts. A decree which resulted in the deaths of scores of infants and young children. The King has given absolutely no justification for this heinous deed, but we here at JCTV have managed to find someone who knows the reason and is willing to share it with us and you our viewers. We go now to  Anchor 2 in an undisclosed location for a special edition of JCTV Confidential. But be warned, the subject matter may be of an adult nature. Parental discretion is advised.

(Anchor 2 is in a darkened room with a shrouded witness)

Anchor 2- I am here with someone who knows exactly the reasoning behind the recent order made by King Herod. In order to ensure his personal safety, we have agreed to meet in a secret location and that he wear a shroud in order to stay anonymous. We will also not refer to him by his real name, we’ll call him John. John, what is your association to King Herod?

Witness- I work - or used to work - very closely to him, which is why I know so much about all of his  day to day activities.

Anchor 2- So exactly why did he do it?

Witness- It all started a few weeks ago, when some visitors came to the land from the East to see the Messiah. One of them visited your broadcast .

Anchor 2- Ah, Mr Wakanda, I think.

Witness- Correct. King Herod, as you may recall, requested them to see him and his friends. It was then they told him that they were here to see the newborn Messiah, or King of the Jews, as some people call Him.

Anchor 2- What did the King do?

Witness- At first he was doubtful, so he called all of the scribes and chief priests to verify the story, which they did.

Anchor 2- I guess he was surprised.

Witness- Surprised? More like fearful. He was afraid that the Messiah would grow up one day and overthrow him.

Anchor 2 (shocked) But the Messiah’s not that kind of King.

Witness- I know, but no one could convince him otherwise. He told the travellers to go find the Baby and when they did to let him know where he was, so that he could come and worship Him.

Anchor 2- That was surprising. I never pictured the king as being a religious man.

Witness- (angrily) No, It was a lie. His true plan was that when the travellers returned with the Child’s location, he would send his soldiers there with orders to kill him. 

Anchor 2 (shocked)- What !!!! But even so, it was one child. Why’d he have so many others killed.

Witness - Because everything didn’t go according to plan! The travellers never came back. I don’t know if someone warned them but they returned to their own country without telling Herod anything, and as you can imagine he didn’t take it too well.

Anchor 2 - I can imagine.

Witness - He went berserk with rage. He swore that he’d get that Baby no matter what. He ordered his soldiers to kill every child two years and under both in Bethlehem and along the coast….. just to make sure.

Anchor 2 (still shocked) Is he crazy!!!! That meant the lives of scores of innocent children.

Witness - Not mad. Just power hungry and selfish. For that reason, I can no longer serve him. Which is why I must go now - I’m fleeing the country before he finds me. Goodbye (gets up looks around and walks out).

Anchor 2- Good bye and thank you. This has been another edition of JCTV Confidential. This is Anchor 2, signing out.

Stage manager- And cut. (Anchor 2 walks down to Anchor 1)

Anchor1- (to Anchor2) Simply unbelievable. I just can’t believe that Herod would have all of those children murdered, just so he could keep his kingdom.

Anchor2- (sadly) I know. It’s just so sad. Think of all of those poor families. (pauses) Do you think that maybe… the Messiah was one of them?

Anchor1- To be honest, I really don’t have a clue. I hope not, and the thing is we don’t have any way of finding out, either.

Anchor2- It’s simply mind boggling. We travelled all over the country and never got the chance to see Him or His parents even once.

Anchor1- Yeah. (thinks) Or did we???

Anchor2 (puzzled)- What do you mean?

Anchor1- Do you remember what that lady Anna said about the Messiah’s background?

Anchor2- (thinks) Ummm. She said that He’d be a Nazarene, from the line of David, and He’d be born of a virgin in Bethlehem.  

Anchor1 (excited) Exactly. And remember when Streetreporter was in Nazareth? What did that guy, the Algerian one, say when she asked him about his neighbours?

Anchor2- Ummm, he said that they had just left for Bethlehem where the husband was from since he was a descendant of David, (realizes where she is going) and that the wife was pregnant although she was a virgin!!!

Anchor1 (excited) And then remember when we were in Bethlehem at the inn. The little boy said that there was a Nazarene couple who wanted a room and his father let them use the stable.

Anchor2 (excited too) Oh yeah !!! And then when we were interviewing the Bethlehemite shepherds, they said they found the Messiah in a manger in the back of an inn with His parents. It was the same inn!!! So you mean to tell me that we knew where He was all along but didn’t realize it!!!!

Anchor1- (frustrated ) We did!!!! It was staring us in the face. We just ignored all of the clues. I feel sooo stupid.

Anchor2- What do we do now???

Anchor1- We gotta move fast. Call Streetreporter and fill her in. I’m going to run up to head office and let them get a crew to Bethlehem asap. We can’t let this opportunity miss us again (runs off).

Anchor2- (picks up cell phone) Hello Streetreporter. It’s Anchor2. You’ll never believe this. We found Him.

Finale
(Anchors 1 and 2 are at their desk in the usual pose)

Anchor1-  Good evening and welcome another edition of the JCTV Evening Report. The question on everyone in Israel’s mind is this: - Did the Messiah, Jesus, survive the attempt made by King Herod to kill him, which cost the lives of thousands of infants and young children across Bethlehem?

Anchor2- An answer to this is not imminent, but we were able to find someone who may have been able to give us one. We go now live, to Streetreporter who’s back in Bethlehem. Streetreporter?

(Streetreporter is back in the inn, but it looks a lot emptier than the 1st time, maybe staff could be seen lounging around with nothing to do)

Streetreporter- Thank you. Anchor2. I’m here once again in the Star of David inn, and as you can see, things have settled down quite a bit from the last couple of weeks, with there being practically no guests staying here right now. But that’s not why I’m here. This inn was the last confirmed sighting of the Messiah, Jesus and his family, and we’re here to clear up once and for all if He was among the children killed in the massacre. To find this out, we’ll talk to the proprietor, Innkeeper. 

(Innkeeper walks in looking over papers acting sorrowful)

Innkeeper(mumbling to himself, sorrowfully)- All gone. All gone, can’t believe all gone.

Streetreporter- Mr Innkeeper. How are you doing today?

Innkeeper- Oh you again. Well, I’m terrible. Just terrible. That oppressor Herod just ruined my whole life.

Streetreporter- Yes. It’s sad. He ruined a lot of lives with what he did. Did you lose anyone close to you???

Innkeeper- (almost crying) WORSE!!! His soldiers barged in here looking for something and scared off all of my guests. Some even left without paying!! All of that money…. Gone. I’m ruined. I may have to close down the inn. (when he says this the staff in the background can start  packing up and taking stuff up to steal)

Streetreporter (disgusted) - I see. Well truly sorry for your loss. But I have something to ask you. Do you remember a Nazarene couple who came here during the census. The wife was pregnant at the time. Umm, (reads paper) Mary and Joseph

Innkeeper- Oh you mean the one’s who had the baby in my stabl- I mean Country Suite out back. I could never forget them. What about them???

Streetreporter- Can you tell us what happened to them - more specifically, their baby Boy when the soldiers came. Did they harm Him???

Innkeeper- No. Not a chance!!!

Streetreporter (anxiously) Really?! Why not?

Innkeeper- The parents left a couple of days before the soldiers arrived. They were in a big hurry, too.

Streetreporter (really excited) That’s great. But why did they leave?

Innkeeper- I’m not sure. I tried to make them stay a bit longer- what with the baby and the wife needing some rest, but the guy, Joseph, was determined to go, kept mumbling about being warned in a dream or something. Pretty strange, huh??

Streetreporter- Do you know where they went?

Innkeeper- They wouldn’t tell me but I heard him say to her that Egypt would be a safe place for the time being, so I guess that’s where they went. So they were long gone when the killing started.

Streetreporter- That’s great news. 

Innkeeper-(sadly) Great news for who??? Not me? That was a few week’s more rent I could have had. All that money . Gone!! Excuse me. I gotta go lie down for a minute (walks off)

Streetreporter- (fake sympathy) I see sir, I understand. Goodbye. (when he walks off rolls eyes) Loser. There you have it ladies and gentlemen. The Messiah is safe. Although in my opinion it should have never been in doubt. This is Streetreporter back to you in the studio.

(Studio scene)

Anchor2- Thank you, Streetreporter. That’s the best news we’ve had in a while. Unfortunately due to territorial issues with the Egyptian government we cannot send a news crew over to Egypt to follow that story, so here is where we must end our coverage on the Messiah for the time being. But let’s take a little time to reflect what we’ve learned over these past few turbulent months. Wanna go first, Anchor1 ?

Anchor1- Thank you. I’ve learned that God always keeps Him promises. As we’ve seen here, it might take one day, one year or one thousand years. If He said it’ll happen, it will come to pass and exactly how He said it will.

Anchor2- I’ve learned that nothing is impossible for God. Through Him a virgin was able to conceive and give birth, a group of strangers could come to our land and find one child among thousands, and a small family could escape the wrath of a king. If He wants it to happen, it will happen.

Anchor1- And last but by no means least, we’ve learned that no matter how great our God, is he still loves us all so much that He’d send His Son down here to earth to save us all. Not just the Pharisees or the Hebrews, but all people, the Greeks, the Egyptians even the Samaritans. That to me is the most amazing thing I’ve ever learned.

Anchor2- Me too. This is where we must end our broadcast for today. We don’t know when the Messiah will make Himself known, but you can rest assured that it will be in a great way and we here at JCTV will be here to cover it. So till then, this is Anchor2.

Anchor1- And Anchor1, wishing you a pleasant evening. Goodnight (newscast closes off). 

……………………………

© Brian Alleyne 2008, all rights reserved. This script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.

This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: brian_alleyne@hotmail.com