The Cat’s Tale

By David Winfield

Summary

The Christmas story seen through the eyes of inhabitants of the manger. Two Narrators act the voices and the other cast members mime.

Cast

Narrator 1
Narrator 2
Innkeeper
Hen
Cat
Mouse 
Donkey
Mary  
Joseph
Shepherds

Script

(The innkeeper enters carrying a sack of grain. He ladles some out into a bowl and places on the ground.)
Narr.1: Chook, chook, chook! Here chook, chook, chook!
(The hen appears and runs across for the food. The cat lies sleeping on a bale of hay while appropriate introductory music plays. Slowly she wakes up, stretches and looks around. While this occurs the mouse appears, looking on from a safe vantage point.)
Narr.2: Miaow!
Narr.1: And about time you woke up and all. You’re not just here to be an ornament you know – you’re supposed to be working. I just saw some signs of mice near the grain sacks. That’s your department you know.
Narr.2: Oh, don’t be too hard on me. I was up most of the night after all. Surely I’m entitled to a little cat-nap from time to time.
Narr.1: Nap indeed! I’ll bet you’ve been lying there for hours. (kicks her off the bale) C’mon, get earning your keep or there’ll be limited rations for supper. (exits)
Narr.2: I never noticed that my meals were particularly large anyway. Make them smaller and they’ll disappear completely.
Narr.1: Brrrck! Brrrck!
Narr.2: (cat jumps in surprise) And where did you spring from? Shouldn’t be allowed, frightening me like that. You know I don’t like sudden noises. I’m of a nervous disposition.
Narr.1: Don’t be such a scaredy-cat. Honestly, you make such a fuss at times.
Narr.2: Oh, now you’re going to pick on me, too. First of all it’s our master the innkeeper and now it’s old dumb-cluck. Why don’t you go back to your nest and lay an egg?
Narr.1: At least that would make me more useful than you are. Look at you, always complaining. You’re such a wus puss.
Narr.2: Oh yeh! You want to make something of it? (shaping up for a fight)
Narr.1: Oh per-lease! That’s not the way to settle anything; just keep your claws in your paws and back off. (leaves muttering) I’m sure I can find some more pleasant company around here.
Narr.2: (calling off) I can see what the old rooster means by being hen-pecked. Blimmin’ cheek. Oh well, time to freshen up I suppose. (resumes seat on hay bale and starts to clean and preen)
Narr.1: Hee haw! (cat falls off the bale with a start)
Narr.2: What on earth was that? (with shaky voice) Who’s there?
Narr.1: Hee haw!
Narr.2: (cat backs off) Show yourself whoever you are. (donkey enters)
Narr.1: I say, this does look rather comfortable. I think this will do quite nicely, yes indeed.
Narr.2: Who do you think you are? And what are you doing in my stable?
Narr.1: Your stable? Yours? I hardly think you can claim ownership here kitty.
Narr.2: Kitty! Kitty! I’ll thank you for a little more respect you … you … you …
Narr.1: Derek’s the name. Derek the donkey. Has a nice ring to it don’t you think?
Narr.2: Would have a better ring if they had called you Abel. (laughs) Get it, a-bell? Oh, never mind. What are you doing here?
Narr.1: Looking for a bit of a rest actually, old chap. I’ve had such a journey I think I’m suffering from hoof ache.
Narr.2:  How far have you come?
Narr.1: From Nazareth, would you believe. And with such a heavy load. She was a real weight, that lady. Somebody said she was with child but I didn’t see any kids about; just a fellow called Joe something. They’re looking for a room in your inn. I hope they get one – this would be just ideal as far as my accommodation goes.
Narr.2: You'll be lucky, sport – everything’s full up right now, including us.
Narr.1: Don’t tell me. I couldn’t stand the thought of going any further tonight. I’m sure I couldn’t clip another clop.

Song : “The Donkey’s Song”

(The donkey is lying down asleep. The cat is back on her hay bale, trying to sleep.)
Narr.1: (snores)
Narr.2: Oy! Derek! How about a bit of hush.
Narr.1: (snores)
Narr.2: Doesn’t look like this’ll be much of a silent night.
Narr.1: (snoring dies down and stops)
Narr.2: That’s better. A bit of peace and not before time. (The mouse suddenly topples from his vantage point with a very large crash. The cat sits bolt upright) What on earth was that? (goes to investigate, at which point the mouse scuttles across to the other side of the stable and hides. The cat follows cautiously) Who’s that?
Narr.1: No one.
Narr.2: That’s all right then. (goes to walk away and then stops) Wait a minute, you can’t fool me.
Narr.1:  Can’t blame me for trying.
Narr.2: That sounds like …. Yes! You’re a mouse.
Narr.1: Sort of. But only a little one.
Narr.2: (aside) Bite size we call it. C’mon out where I can see you.
Narr.1: But you might hurt me. What I’ve been told about you cats is not very nice.
Narr.2: You don’t want to believe everything you hear. Some of us are really quite friendly. Come on out – I’d really like to eat …. meet you.
Narr.1: You’re not going to do anything nasty?
Narr.2: As if I would. The very thought. In fact I’m really vegetarian so you’re quite safe.
Narr.1: If you promise....
Narr.2: Promise. Word of honour. All that stuff.
(The mouse cautiously emerges. Meanwhile the cat is tucking a serviette into her collar.)
Narr.1: What’s that you’re wearing?
Narr.2: Wouldn’t want to get any mouse crumbs on my coat, now would I? (grabs hold of the mouse)
Narr.1: But you promised.
Narr.2: Did I? Must have slipped my mind. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes, lunch.
Narr.1: (knocks loudly on door)
Narr.2: Oh! (cat gives a startled jump and drops the mouse who scurries off) This is really getting annoying, all these noises – and bad for my heart I’m sure. This was supposed to be my mealtime as well. Who is that rat-a-tat-tatting anyway?

Song : “There isn’t any room”

(Door opens and Mary and Joseph enter. The cat has resumed her position on the bale of hay.)
Narr.2: Are you sure this is where he said?
Narr.1: I think so. It was good that he thought of it under the circumstances.
Narr.2: Oooh! (Mary clutches her stomach)
Narr.1: Are you all right?
Narr.2: Yes, but I don’t think this baby’s going to be long in coming.
Narr.1: Here, look lie down. This hay should make a fairly comfortable bed. (sees the cat) Shoo, moggie.
Narr.2: (indignantly) Moggie? Moggie? I’ll have you know that I am of royal descent. The Pharaoh’s court no less. Moggie indeed.
Narr.1: We might not have a room, but at least this is a bed of sorts. Shame we miss out on the dining room though.
Narr.2: Don’t tell me your problems. You’re the reason I’m going hungry at present.
Narr.1: It’s good to rest, that was a tiring journey. Must have been even worse for Mary, I’m glad she’s sleeping now. But I’m afraid the toughest part is still to come - when her labour begins.
Narr.2: Labour? You’re going to put her to work? What sort of a cruel, heartless fellow are you?
Narr.1: It’s a real shame she had to come all this way, but when the authorities say "A census will be taken", you can’t really argue.
Narr.2: What is this chap on about? 'Bout time he came to his own senses if you ask me.
Narr.1: Well puss, won’t be long now. I guess tonight will be the night.0
Narr.2: Tonight’ll be what night? You really are confusing me. I wish you could understand me, there are a few questions I’d like some answers to.
Narr.1: It is so peaceful here. Sleep on Mary, I’ll just be as quiet as a little mouse.
Narr.2: Mouse! Don’t remind me. But that’ll have to wait, obviously something pretty important is about to take place around here, and whatever it is I don’t want to miss it.
Narr.1: Will you look at those stars, how wonderful.

Song : “A Starry Night”

(Mary is now seated on the hay bale cradling a baby. Joseph stands, looking on.)
Narr.2: So that’s what he was on about – a kitten. Well, of sorts. It’s a big one, though.
Narr.1: Ah choo!
Narr.2: Aha! My lunch is back. C’mon in little mouse, things have really been happening since you disappeared.
Narr.1: Uh uh! You’re not gonna catch me out twice in a row.
Narr.2: It’s all right - really. There’s so much excitement around here I really seem to have lost my appetite. Look, see who’s just arrived now.
(The shepherds enter and kneel before the new born baby.)
Narr.1: Who are they? Haven’t seen them around here before.
Narr.2: I think they call them sheep herds, or something like that. They live just outside of town.
Narr.1: I’ve never been outside of town, what’s it like?
Narr.2: It’s pretty empty, no houses or anything like that. And big; it stretches way, way off into the distance.
Narr.1: You really know a lot don’t you?
Narr.2: I suppose you could say I’ve been around.
Narr.1: Those sheep thingummies must have been around, too, then. I’ve never been anywhere like that. (sniffs) Not since my mother went away. One day she just didn’t come home and no-one knows what happened to her.
Narr.2: (embarrassed aside) Perhaps some of us know.
Narr.1: It’s not much fun being on your own.
Narr.2: Oh come on little chap, cheer up. Look, how about I take care of you from now on. (with sudden realisation) What am I saying?
Narr.1: Would you really? No going back on your word again.
Narr.2: No. I hate to imagine what the others will think. Probably say I’ve gone soft or something. But who cares. This really is a night for unusual things to happen.
Narr.1: I’m glad that lady came in here - and had her baby. We might never have become friends otherwise.
Narr.2: You’re right, little friend. Isn’t it strange, he’s only been here for a few minutes but already that baby’s changed things for us. I wonder if he’ll ever make a difference for anyone else?

Song : “The Cat and the Mouse”
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Copyright David Winfield 2001, all rights reserved.
This script may be used free, provided no entrance fee is charged. In return for free performance, the author would like to be told when the script is used. He may be contacted at davenjo@xtra.co.nz