What if....
By John Fewings
Summary
What if the 3 wise men and the shepherds had had very different reactions
to the signs of the birth of Jesus?
Characters
(Note: Ideally, this short sketch should be performed by only two actors,
one taking the part of the NARRATOR, the other playing ALL the other parts.
To emphasise the silliness of the piece, this second actor could make "lightning"
changes of costume behind an appropriate screen: costume could could consist
merely of different colour cloaks and headgear for each part. He should
also use a variety of different voices. A modicum of props might help.)
Narrator
All other characters
Script
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, a long time ago in a far-off land (because
all good stories start like that) three kings met together for a deep philosophical
discussion; about the ontological meaning of life, the escatalogical significance
of entropic decay, the existential interpretation of naturalistic phenomenology,
the shockingly high price of coffee - heavy stuff like that. Suddenly there
appeared a bright new star shining clearly in the evening sky. For a while
they were puzzled - until the first of the kings realised its significance
and explained to the others.
KING 1:(Patrick Moore voice?) It's obviously an intergalactic quasar
and it's over a million mililon miles away - the temperature at the surface
is a trillion times hotter than our sun and its light is incredibly intense.
One day, Man will send ships to experiment up to the stars to explore and
quantify, and catalogue ... Meanwhile, is there any coffee left?
NARRATOR: The other two kings pondered on this. It was all very well
knowing WHAT it was, but what did this new star SIGNIFY? The second of
the kings consulted his reference books at greater length - and shared
his conclusions with his colleagues.
KING 2: (Russell Grant voice?) The moon is in its second phase and
resides in the third house of Aquarius. With Mars in the ascendancy I could
be lucky in love. I will meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger. I may have
problems with money but can overcome these difficulties with wisdom. Lucky
number 5. Hey, could either of you lend me a fiver?
NARRATOR: Neither of them could. Despite the deliberations of his two
friends. the third king was not satisfied with either of their suggestions.
Throughout the evening he had thought deeply about the heavenly apparition.
Finally, thoughtfully, he said ...
KING 3: (Total panic!) It's a UFO! It's probably full of little green
men! They'll take over the earth! We'll all be eaten! Don't just sit there
- let's run away and hide! Help!
NARRATOR: Meanwhile. on the hillside outside Bethlehem were a number
of simple, peaceful shepherds watching over their sheep. All at once, the
sky shone with a brilliant light and a shining angel appeared, saying ...
ANGEL : Fear not - for I bring tidings of great joy. Unto you this
day in the City of David, is born a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And you shall find the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a
manger.
NARRATOR: The shepherds were startled, amazed, flabbergasted. They
had never seen anything like it. It wasn't long before one of them made
up his mind what to do.
SHEPHERD l:(Aside, to audience) I must be going crazy; completely flipped.
I thought I saw an angel! If I say anything to the other two they'll have
me carted off to the "funny farm". I'll just pretend nothing's happened.
Er .... nice evening isn't it?
NARRATOR: Of course, they couldn't all deny what they'd seen, and one
of the other shepherds soon realised what was going on.
SHEPHERD 2:Did you see that shimmering light? I reckon it was something
"weird". A ghost maybe, or a spook! A ghoulie! A ghostie! A long-leggedy
beastie! ooh! I'm not all right: I should be at home, safely tucked especially
as it's Christmas.
NARRATOR: But the third shepherd did not believe in witches and spooks
- nor "things that go bump in the night". He did not scare so easily. Well
- not much ...
SHEPHERD 3:(Total panic!) It’s a UFO! It's probably full of little
green men! They'll take over the earth! We'll all be eaten ... in shepherd's
pie! Don't just sit there - let's run away and hide! Help!
NARRATOR: What if it HAD happened something like that' What if the
kings had rationalised and explained away the star ... instead of coming
to worship the baby Jesus? What if the shepherds had thought it best not
to get involved ... instead of humbly seeking out the Son of God? What
if ... no, it's silly ... What if ... YOU turned down the invitation to
come to Jesus? But then, of course, you wouldn't ... would you?
© Copyright John Fewings, all rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are
not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange
for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and
for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: 50 Howdale Road,
Hull, HU8 9JZ, UK. Email:
fewings@fewings.karoo.co.uk