The Local News

By Peter Marshall

Summary

The resurrection of the Lord and two different reactions brought about by it.

Characters

Person : Arrogant, all knowing, big head
Man : Outspoken, business type, "Yes yes" man.
Mary Magdeline
Mary, mother of James : Excited at the Lords resurrection

Props

Each person may have a newspaper or something, and this allows scripts to be "hidden". Mary and Mary of James need "pots of ointment" to carry on for their first entry.

Costume

Mary and Mary of James MUST look like Mary Magdeline and Mary mother of James. They can be wearing shawls (black) or simple, black clothes. Once they have left the stage for the second time, they can change clothing to something bright (since they are no longer in mourning).

The Set

Bench Centre Middle (can be two chairs). Exits Left and Right (or a rear and front exit (this arrangement is very effective)).

Script

(Scene: Person is sitting on a bench. Marys are off stage right. Man Enters stage left.)

Man : Mornin' How are you today?

Person : Don't ask stupid questions. Those Romans were around again asking about them Christ Followers. Load of rubbish if you ask me. I mean, a carpenter born in Bethlehem of all places. I mean..

Man: Yes, erm, yes. But he did do some amazing things..

Person: ..oh! You don't actually believe that rubbish do you?

Man: (Hesitates) Well, actually..

Person:..yes?

Man: (Realises his ego will be considerably diminished) No.

Person: Good. {relief} I mean, everyone knows that the blind man he supposedly healed was just in the sun too long.

(Long pause while they flick through the papers)

Man: Three days now, you know.

Person: Since what?

Man: They killed him.

Person: Oh, do we have to go through this?

Man: Well..

Person: Look, I've already told you, this guy was a fraud.

Man: Okay then. If he was a fraud, explain Lazarus.

Person: Who?

Man: Lazarus. You know, buried for 4 days, now alive..

Person: Ah, well...

Man: Yes?

Person: He erm, he erm..

Man: Yes?

Person: Actually had a severe case of..

Man: ..yes?

Person: A severe case of..

Man: Hm?

Person: Cramp.

Man: Cramp. (Looks at audience for sympathy} Oh, come on.

Person: Yes, yes. Cramp is a very strange thing. {Very matter of fact} It wakes you up when youre asleep so I don't know why some strange form of it couldn't wake you when youre dead.

Man: But there are witnesses that he was actually dead.. and the smell, well..

(Mother walk across the back of the stage quietly with pots R to L)

Person: Oh, really? Like who?

Man: Mary and Mary of james, his sisters, the villagers and my wife.

Person: OH COME ON!! Your wife's been out with probably Blind Barthemaus and your expecting me to believe her?

Person: I suppose she saw him drive out the demons into the pigs as well!!

Man: Well, as a matter of fact...

Person: Oh, come on!!

Man: Look, I tell you what. She says he said he was going to come alive again within 3 days.

Person: Really? Well, if you believe that you must be out of your head!! Besides, you wouldn't know if he really was alive because his followers would steal his body and say that he was alive.

(Mother run across the back of the stage, smiling and excited about something from stage left)

Man: Actually, they can't do that.

Person: And why not.. oh hang on, I know, the Romans have posted a guard and the Pharisees are there too. Oh, pull the other one! (Sarcasm} Ha ha. I suppose you're gonna tell me now that they put a big heavy, ginormous stone in the way too so that he can't get out!! Ha ha. Oh, you do make me laugh.

Man: Well, as a matter of fact..

Person: Hm?

Man: They have.

Person: Pardon?

Man: They have. Put a big rock in the way and sealed it, and posted a guard of Roman Soldiers and Pharisees.

Person: You're having me on.

Man: No.

Person: So now, Jesus, this "Son of God" has to push away the stone without being noticed by 6 Roman guards and some Pharisees.

Man: Yes.

Person: Well, if he can do that, then I might believe in your miracle working "Jesus of Nazareth".

(Person: stands up to leave)

Mother enter stage right

Mother: HE'S ALIVE!! HE'S ALIVE!! JESUS IS ALIVE!

Mary Mag : We went to the tomb where Jesus was..

Mother ..and he was gone!

(Mother exits jumping and shouting stage left. About 3 seconds pause)

Person: I only said might {Exits stage right}

.....................................

Peter Marshall 1994
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, notification of when and for what purpose the play is performed would be appreciated. It may be sent to soul.communication@outlook.com