The Next Great Script

By Glenn A. Hascall


 Three screenwriters are discussing what to do for their next project, several ideas are rejected until Kim brings up an idea that may just change Joe's future. An interesting twist to the Easter story.


JOE - 


(Setting: Three writers sitting at a desk discussing ideas for their next movie. All cast come in with scripts in hand - toss them on the desk and look down - haggard - tired.)
JOE: How are we gonna follow that up?
STEVEN: (Smiles) We did have a lot of success with "Beach Blanket Tiddlywinks".
KIM: And who could forget "Moon over Michigan".
JOE: Or the classic, "It's a Wonderful Kite."
JOE: Good memories. (Pause - then serious) But they need a new script idea by tomorrow.
KIM: What about a princess who is invited to sleep overnight at a palace and for some reason she is forced to sleep on a bunch of mattresses - one on top of the other.
JOE: How many?
KIM: About a hundred.
KIM: She sleeps on the top - having taken motion sickness pills ahead of time - and she is still capable of discovering a little known secret. --  Someone put a pea underneath the mattress at the very bottom.
STEVEN: You bring this idea up every time, Kim. I could go with it, if she would simply reject her royal position and take her sensitivity skills and enroll in a school for Chiropractors where she'd meet up with a swashbuckling musketeer on a personal vendetta before having his back knocked out of joint when he was forcefully thrown from his horse in a highly entertaining altercation with a troll.
JOE: Steven's right, it doesn't have enough action. (Pause thinking) How about this? Uh, how about "Pastry Man".
KIM: Pastry Man?
JOE: He's a super hero whose past is checkered by the loss of his parents who ate too many glazed donuts.
STEVEN: Does he have a sidekick?
JOE: That's in development.
KIM: Meaning?
JOE: I don't know yet. (Pause - thinking) Uh, how about Bagel Boy?
JOE: Now he has dedicated his entire life to eradicating the evil of glazed and jelly filled donuts in the metroplex.
KIM: Not very believable Joe. Come on, most of the people who come to the movie are going to be eating movie pop corn - that stuff's got enough junk to clog a person's veins for the better part of a decade. No use instilling guilt on the movie going public. Some idea's might work for a documentary, but a crime fighter with a grudge against fried pastries and the ill effects of high cholesterol isn't gonna sell many tickets in Sheboygan.
STEVEN: Or any other city for that matter (Chuckles).
JOE: (Slightly dejected) Maybe your right. (Looks at Steven) Do you have any ideas?
STEVEN: What about an alien that mysteriously finds himself in a suburb befriended by a little boy who bribes it with candy.
KIM: What kind?
STEVEN: I don' know - jelly beans.
KIM: No, it's gotta be something with peanut butter in it.
JOE: What does this alien look like?
STEVEN: More like a prune than anything else. He starts out acting like the boy and the boy begins to act like the alien. The government gets involved and both the boy and the alien look like their history - there's a flying bike to show that we can do special effects and a single parent - cause that 's just standard procedure in movies. (Pause as Kim & Joe look astonished) Well, what do you think?
JOE & KIM: (LAUGH LOUDLY as if this is the funniest thing they have ever heard)
STEVEN: (When everything settles down he asks in a hurt tone) Look we've got to come up with an idea here. Kim - it's your turn again.
KIM: What about a story of a man who never did anything wrong.
JOE: Sounds boring.
KIM: He wasn't loud or rowdy - he just spent most of his time teaching around a dozen guys.
STEVEN: Quiet teachers - too stereotypical.
KIM: For some reason though, this man made other people angry, the church leaders didn't like him, the government leaders thought he was a threat, but the people loved him. Once, he took about 5,000 of them out for lunch in one day.
STEVEN: (Grudgingly) This has some possibilities. Everyone likes a free lunch. Go on.
KIM: Then everyone turned on him. The church leaders, the government leaders, the common man - they all turned against him.
STEPHEN: So what happens - does he escape to fight another day?
KIM: (Says simply) No, they kill him.
JOE: (Disappointed) Kill - as in dead?
KIM: Yep.
JOE: (Pause) That's kind of anti-climactic.
KIM: But that's not the end of the story.
STEVEN: Go on.
KIM: He is in the grave for three days and then he gets up and leaves.
JOE: So he wasn't dead?
STEVEN: Finally, a plot twist.
KIM: No he was dead all right, but he's come back to life.
JOE: Like a mummy?
STEVEN: Or a cyborg? (The only one to chuckle - stops in embarrassment)
KIM: No, like the Son of God who had the power to feed five thousand and the power to come back to life and then to forgive sin.
JOE: (Very interested) Sin - as in murder and stealing?
KIM: As in all the bad stuff that people have ever done or will do. It's forgiven because this man laid down his life and then rose again. All it takes is a little faith to believe it is true.
STEVEN: This is fiction - right?
KIM: In this case - this story is true.
JOE: You're saying that God's Son can forgive every sin?
KIM: Every sin.
JOE: And he died for me?
KIM: Yes.
STEVEN: (Nervous) Come on, this is a little "out there" don't you think?
KIM: (Ignores Steven) What do YOU think, Joe?
STEVEN: Come on - No one's gonna buy this.
JOE: (A look of wonder - then points at himself) Don't be so sure of yourself.
(Fade to black)
Copyright 2004 by Glenn A. Hascall, all rights reserved.
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