Mary - modern day mom to be
Joe - modern day dad to be
Bill - homeowner questioning his beliefs, or lack thereof
(Scene opens with Bill decorating for Christmas. )
Bill: I don’t know why I’m doing this! If it weren’t for this awful snowstorm I would be on my way to Vail for a ski vacation. I wanted snow, God, but not this much at this time! I don’t know why I’m talking to you. I’m not even sure you’re there, and if you are you probably don’t give two hoots about me anyway. (He looks around at all the decorations) I wasn’t going to do this. Remember? I told my sister the world is crazy. We go all out, spend hundreds of dollars we can’t afford, put a TREE in our house, put up all kinds of decorations, bake a ton of cookies and for what? Because a baby was supposedly born in a tiny town in a faraway land 2,000 years ago! Big deal. There are probably thousands of babies born every day all over the world. We don’t go crazy over every one. Oh, I know you were supposedly different. After all, you were God come to earth. So? What difference does that make to my life everyday? I guess I sound like Scrooge to you don’t I, God? Well, I’m not Scrooge. I sent out my Christmas presents like a good son, brother and uncle. It’s not the money; it’s the meaning. What does it all mean? Anything at all? I’m probably just having a pity party because most of my neighbors are from out of town and they’re all gone. At least they left early enough so they got out before the storm hit. But not me. Leave work early just because it’s Christmas Eve? Never. I even stayed late to wrap up the Griswold Account. Seems like you could have warned me this storm was coming.
(Doorbell rings. Bill opens door.)
Bill: Yes?
Joe: Hi, my name is Joe Simmons. I wonder if you could help me. My car is stuck in the snow bank in front of your house.
Bill: Well, you might as well come in. I don’t think you’re going anywhere else tonight. My name is Bill Carstairs.
Joe: Nice to meet you. I was trying to get to my wife’s parent’s house. They live on Scoffield Road.
Bill: That’s about five miles from here. You won’t make it tonight. Do you want to call them?
Joe: I guess I’d better, but first my wife is in the car. Would it be all right if I bring her in here? She’s expecting a baby and she’s started to have some pains.
Bill: And your name is Joe.
Joe: That’s right.
Bill: I suppose her name is Mary.
Joe: How did you know?
Bill: Well, it is Christmas Eve and you’re Joe.
Joe: Oh, yes, I see what you mean. Coincidence.
Bill: You’d better go and bring her in. Do you need some help?
Joe: No. I can manage. (Joe goes to get Mary)
Bill: (Speaking to God again) I suppose this is your idea of a joke. Well, I did say I hated the idea of spending Christmas Eve alone. But really - Mary and Joe, isn’t that going a bit too far? Now where is that angel my mother gave me? It doesn’t seem to be here anywhere. We must have the angel; after all now we do have Mary and Joseph.
(Mary and Joseph enter after knocking lightly. Mary is in obvious distress.)
Joe: This is my wife, Mary. Could she lie down somewhere?
Bill: Yes, of course. Why don’t you take her into the bedroom?
Mary: Thank you. This is so kind of you.
Bill: No problem. Listen, should I call a doctor or ambulance or something?
Joe: I don’t think they would get here in time. It doesn’t really matter, though, because I’m an Obstetrician.
Bill: Good thing. Listen there’s extra blankets in the closet in there, and there’s a bathroom next to the closet if you need water. Just let me know if you need anything else.
Joe: Thanks.
Bill: Sure. Now where is that angel? (Pulls packing material out of boxes but can’t find angel) Oh, here’s an extra bulb for the lights. Maybe they’ll work now. (Puts bulb in string of lights and plugs them in. There’s a loud pop and all the lights go off everywhere) Ouch! Man, that hurts! Oh, great! Now we have Mary and Joseph, no angel and no lights. (Calls to Mary & Joe) Don’t panic, Joe, it’s just the circuit breaker. I’ll have the lights back on in a jiffy. That is if I can find the flashlight. Now where did I put that flashlight? Here it is. (Calling again to Mary & Joe) Don’t worry, everything is fine. (He turns on flashlight and flips breaker.) I’ve got it. Let’s see here which one is it? Must be this one – the main breaker. There. O.K. (Lights come back on) Everything all right in there? (There is no answer) Hey, Joe, is everything O.K. in there? Is Mary all right? (Still no answer. Bill knocks and there is still only silence. Slowly he opens door) Hey, Joe, is everything O.K.? Oh my gosh, where did they go? (Pulls back covers, to reveal angel figurine) How did this get in here? (Goes to door & opens it) No car stuck in the snow bank!!
(Telephone rings.)
Bill: Hello. Oh, hi Mom. No, I couldn’t get out, the weather is too bad. Don’t worry, Mom, I’m all right. (Looking at angel) Anyway I don’t think I’m alone. Merry Christmas, Mom.
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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is
made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like
to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance
rights, they may be contacted at: NIJWMiller@aol.com.