Many Hats

By Terri Savage

Summary

Women wear many hats throughout their day. This drama is an amusing way to encourage other women while emphasizing that it's not easy. This is best used during a women's retreat or luncheon.

Characters

Woman - late twenties to late thirties.

Props

1) Several ball caps. I used large labels and a black marker to indicate the different hats: M for mom, W for wife, GG for God's Girl, etc. Not all hats will be used, but most of them will. The hats are for: Mom, Wife, Neighbor, Friend, Chauffer, Homemaker, God's-Girl, Daughter, Gardener, Aunt, Sister. (At different times you'll be wearing multiple caps)
2) Gloves for gardening and maybe even a small garden tool
3) Broom
4) A partition or something to hid behind during brief exits.
5) Long robe, slippers and perhaps pajama bottoms
6) Cell phone
7) Lacy Teddie
8) Rocking chair or chair

Script

As Mom/Homemaker: Okay kids, I'll pick you up after school. (Speaks to audience) Wow - I just don't know how I'd be able to do it sometimes if I tried to handle it all on my own. I get up before everyone else for some quiet time with God so I have the strength and the mindset to get through the day. Of course, we talk throughout the day, too. You know, as women, we often wear many hats. Some days more than others, and some of us wear more than others. I have a few here that I use quite often: Wife, Neighbor, Friend, Chauffer, God's Girl - GG for short - Daughter, Gardener, Sister, Aunt, Mom, Homemaker. (take off Mom/Homemaker while speaking and put on Gardener, plus gloves). I have more than this, too, but I think you get point.

As Gardener: Well, it's time to go manage the lawn - be back in a few. (after a few seconds) Sometimes I think I work hard, and then I look at those ants. (begins taking off gloves and hat and puts on Homemaker hat while continuing to speak) They just never quit. I guess they have to do what they have to do, but I sure do wish they'd do it someplace else! There's enough Amdro in my yard to choke a cow!

As Homemaker: (grabs broom and begins to sweep. Cell phone beeps) Oh, an urgent message, from Susie. She left her homework assignment on the kitchen table and HAS to have it by 10. (Takes off Homemaker and puts on Mom) Guess I'd better go - be back in a few!

As Mom: I hate these rushes. Let's see now, what's on our to-do list today? Hmmm, before I start this I'd better go get lunch together for Ms. Parrish. The poor thing, she's had the flu for almost a week now. I'll be back in a few. (Takes off Mom and puts on Neighbor)

As Neighbor: Things are looking up for Ms. Parrish - she can finally keep down clear liquids. A few days ago she was spewing like Old Faithful - thought she was going to wretch up her toes! (adds God's Girl hat) Lord, I just want to lift up Ms. Parrish to you. I thank you that you are healing her body even as we speak, and I just pray that she recovers to full strength real soon. Thank you Lord that you are the Magnificent Healer!

(Cell phone beeps) An urgent txt from my best friend - something to do with a leg waxing gone wrong! (Takes off Neighbor, puts on Friend)

As Friend: I'm coming Barb - help is on the way! (a few seconds later) Wow - I never knew hot wax could get so hot. You should see the size of that burn - right on the inside of the thigh. Took 2 rolls of gauze! Poor thing - she'll be walkin' like this for at least a week! (walk with one leg far apart from the other so as to emphasize the thighs not touching) The things we do to look good for our husbands. (Add God's Girl hat) Lord, please watch over Barb and help her to heal quickly. Thank you for her friendship and of course, for yours. (Cell phone) Oh, an urgent txt - it's from Frank; seems he forgot his presentation and he's on in half an hour. (changes hats from Friend to Wife)

As Wife: I'm coming Honey!!! (a few seconds later) Whew, that was a close one. He's presenting in front of the Board of Directors - that was a near disaster! Now, I'd better get to the bank and the dry cleaners before I pick up the kids. Be back in a few. (adds Mom hat)

As Mom/Wife: (Addresses unseen people out of the room) Susie, you have 15 minutes to change and grab a snack before softball practice. Justin - make sure you get your homework done because when I get back we'll have to leave for your band practice.

(takes off Wife, adds Chauffer) I'd better take my grocery list and hit the store on the way back from band practice, otherwise we'll be eating bread for dinner! Well, it's off to the races - be back in a few!

(changes hats to Homemaker) I have a few minutes before Frank gets home and I have to rush off to pick up the kids; time for some last minute tidying up. (grabs broom and again attempts to sweep while talking) You know, I have a good life but sometimes I wonder where my day goes. I just thank God that I don't have a job outside the home, too! Some women have even more hats than me! (Cell phone beeps) An urgent txt from my mother - she needs help right away. (change hats to Daughter) I'll be back.

As Daughter: That's as much excitement as I want for one day. You ever tried to give a cat a pill? You hide it in some food and a dog'll eat it, cats on the other hand are not quite so gullible! We had to pry open her mouth and shove it down her throat, then hold on while the back end went flyin' this way and that! A good thing she's declawed! Oh my goodness, look at the time! I've got to get dinner started. (changes hats to Homemaker)

As Homemaker: (speaks to unseen husband - as if he's in another room) Honey, you just sit there and relax a few minutes. The dinner is in the oven and the table is set. I'm just going to pick up the kids and we'll be right back. Justin asked if Bobby could spend the night - I told him I'd check with you. (speaking while changing hats to Mom/Chauffer) Okay, I'll let him know - he'll be very pleased. Be back in a few, love you! (blows kisses)

As Mom/Chauffer: (takes off Chauffer, adds Homemaker/Wife) (Addresses children in another room) Go wash up, it's time for dinner! (to audience) I'm off to have dinner with my family - be back in awhile. (enter a few seconds later - calls to children) Kids, go take your showers and I'll get dessert together. Please rinse off your plates and stack them in the dishwasher. I'll take care of the rest. (to audience) Well, life is good. (looking up speaking to God) Thank you for the abundance of love and joy that fill this house, Lord. Our cups runneth over. (to audience again) Well ya'll, I'm going to get ready for bed now, I'll be back to say goodnight in a few minutes.

(Comes back in wearing robe and slippers, takes off hats and sits in the chair.) It sure has been a busy day. I am whooped! That bed is going to feel very good! Thank you for spending the day with me - it was fun. What - an urgent txt - now who could be calling me at THIS time of night!?! It's Frank - huh? (gets up, takes off robe and slippers, digs through box to find Teddie and holds it up for all to see; puts on wife hat, dragging the teddie or throwing it over her shoulder). I'm coming, Honey.

LIGHTS OUT

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