The Great Outdoors

by Joanne Miller

Summary

A family of 4 goes on a camping trip.  Dad’s aim is to bring the family closer together.  He thinks this is happening when in reality each member is doing his or her own thing.

Characters

Mom
Dad
Jeff - son
Kara - daughter

Script

(Scene: a campground.  A small tent could be used if possible.  Otherwise just some camping equipment and outdoor chairs, etc.)

Dad:  (with arm around son) Look at all those stars, son.  Aren’t they spectacular?

Jeff: (lifts headset to hear) Did you say something, Dad?

Dad: I said that sky is really something, isn’t it?

Jeff: Yeah.  (Paying no attention to Dad.  Fiddles with headset.) Hey, Dad, where are the extra batteries you bought?

Dad: They’re in that box over by the grill.

Jeff: Thanks.  These batteries must be no good.  I can’t get anything but country music. (Goes to look for batteries.)

Mom: Honey, would you please fire up the generator?  I want to use the microwave.

Dad: You brought the microwave?

Mom: Of course.  How else could I make popcorn?

Dad: I’ll start it in a minute.  First, come here though and look at this sky with me.  Isn’t it wonderful? (Arm around Mom)

Mom: Yes, it’s beautiful.

Kara: (Comes onstage with towel on head) Dad, I washed my hair, now I’ve gotta use the hair dryer.  Where do I plug it in?

Dad: Just go back down to the showers.  They’ve got outlets in there.

Kara: Ew!  I don’t want to dry my clean hair in there!

Dad: Why not?

Kara: Because there are bugs flying around the lights in there.

Dad: So?

Kara: So one of them might get into my hair!

Dad: What do you want me to do about it?

Kara: Start the generator so I can dry my hair out here.

Mom: Oh no, Kara.  I’m going to make popcorn as soon as Dad starts the generator.

Kara: But Mom!!! (Whines) My hair will be too dry and it’ll stick out funny.

Mom: You’re only going to bed.

Kara: But it’ll still look funny in the morning!

Jeff: (Lifts headset to hear) What else is new?

Kara: So? Your hair looks funny all the time.

Mom: O.K., O.K.  Stop the bickering.

Dad: The generator is running.  You’ll have to fight over who gets to use it first.

Mom: Go ahead, Kara.  But make it fast.

Kara: Thanks, Mom.

Dad: I hate to admit it, Jean, but your brother was right.

Mom: Larry?

Dad: Yes.

Mom: What was he right about?

Dad: He said camping is good for the family.  He said it draws them closer to each other and to nature.

Mom: Well, I hope Kara and Jeff don’t get too much closer.  Sparks seem to fly when they do.

Dad: I suppose I should think about starting a campfire.

Mom: O.K.  I’d help you but I’m doing my nails.

Dad: I can do it.  The wood’s right here.

Kara: You can make your popcorn now, Mom.

Mom: Thank you, Kara.  I will after I finish my nails.

Kara: Hey, Dad, do you know where the cards are?

Dad: They’re in the box with the towels.  Do you want to play a family game?

Kara: Nah.  Tammy showed me a new solitaire game.  I want to try it.

Dad: Maybe tomorrow we could play a family game.

Kara: Maybe.

Dad: Hey, Jeff, could you get some of the old newspapers to wad up for the fire?

(Jeff doesn’t answer because he’s still trying to find a non-country station  & “can’t hear Dad”.  Jeff walks offstage.)

Mom: I’d get them but …

Dad: I know, you’re doing your nails.  I’ll get them.  (Fixes fire and pretends to light it)

Mom: Tomorrow maybe we could find a drug store.

Dad: Why?  What do you need?

Mom: Nail polish remover.

Dad: Why would you want to take it off?  You just put it on.

Mom: Not for my fingers, for my toes.  They need to be redone.

(Dad stands over fire as if warming hands.)

Dad: There.  That should really get going any minute now.  I’ll tell you, family, there’s nothing like being in the great outdoors to bring a family together.

Mom: Yep.

Kara: Uh, huh. (Shuffles cards & blows bubble gum)

Jeff: (Comes onstage carrying a small TV) Mom, are you done using the generator?

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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance rights, they may be contacted at: joannesmiller65@gmail.com.