Ken: I’m coming, I’m coming. Just let me see this one last play…Oh, wow! It’s a tie game! I can’t believe it!
Dawn: (sarcastic) I can’t believe it either. Now come on, let’s go.
Ken: I can’t leave now! Dawn, don’t you realize that if my team wins this one we’ll be in the Super Bowl for the first time in 15 years?
Dawn: Ken, if you make me late for this evening you won’t live to see the Super Bowl. Now come on; you can listen in the car.
Ken: No, I can’t. I have to see this. I’ll tell you what, you go on ahead, and I’ll come in just a couple of minutes when I see which team wins.
Dawn: Ken!
Ken: Just go and tell them I was held up, but I’ll be there very soon.
Dawn: I don’t want to go by myself, Ken!
Ken: You won’t be by yourself, you’ll know everyone there and I’ll be right behind you. I promise.
Dawn: I don’t like this.
Ken: I don’t like it either, honey, but I won’t be long. I promise. Now go so at least one of us is there.
Dawn: All right, but you had better be right behind me!
Ken: I will be. I will be. (Ken gently pushes Dawn out the door.)
(Ken sits with a coke and begins to cheer for his team.)
Ken: Come on, you guys, you can do it. Get him! Come on get him! All right! A sack! That’s great. Now just hold them and you’ll get the ball back. No, Thompson (substitute your player’s name) not that way. You know he’s going to fake to the right! He’s been doing it the whole game. Where have you been, Thompson? The rest of the world knows he’s going to fake to the right and you don’t know it? Get your head in the game, Thompson! OK, OK that’s it – no first down. That’s great. Now all you guys have got to do is get close enough for a field goal and WE’RE IN THE SUPER BOWL! That’s it. Go Stevens (substitute your player’s name) go, go. Oh, man! It’s all right, though, you got a first down. Now be careful. Don’t throw this game away.
(Ken’s cell phone rings. Ken answers it without taking his eyes off the screen.)
Ken: Hello.
Dawn: (heard over sound system) Ken, where are you? Everyone else is here. Are you in your car?
Ken: Uh … almost.
Dawn: Almost! What do you mean almost?
Ken: I’m uh, I’m just getting my jacket. I’ll be leaving in just a minute.
Dawn: Well, hurry up; everyone is waiting!
Ken: OK, Sweetheart, I’ll be right there.
(Ken has never taken his eyes off the screen.)
Ken: Yes! Yes! Yes! You’re in field goal range now! Get Jacobs out there to kick it and we’re golden. What are you doing? A pass now? Are you crazy, Williams? Don’t you want to go to the Super Bowl? Oh, no – interception! I can’t believe it! How can you be so stupid? You don’t deserve to be in the Super Bowl. You are an amateur. I can’t believe they’re paying you to do this!
(Cell phone rings again.)
Ken: Hello.
Dawn: Ken, you had better tell me you’re in your car.
Ken: Uh, uh, uh.
Dawn: Ken, if I have to come back there and get you it’s not going to be a pretty sight.
Ken: No, no. I’m coming. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll be right there.
Dawn: Ken this is your parent’s 25th wedding anniversary party and you
are supposed to make the toast before dinner. Everyone’s here. The
food is ready and we are all waiting for you!
Ken: I’m on my way.
Dawn: You’d better be if you know what’s good for you.
(Ken hangs up phone and cheers for his team again.)
Ken: All right! A turnover! Way to go! Now let’s bring it on home, you guys. You can do it. A touchdown, a field goal – I don’t care; just do it! Yes, yes, yes – a gain of 20 yards! OK, Williams now don’t take any chances. Just play it safe and get this game over with.
(Cell phone rings again. Ken doesn’t answer it but stuffs it under a pillow. It continues to ring as lights fade.)
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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is
made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the
authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information
regarding performance rights, they may be
contacted at: joannesmiller65@gmail.com.