By E.C. Mason
Change is too stressful for some. This office worker can't even handle the change a vacation represents, let alone the changes he finds on his return.
Two office workers
1: Well, how was your vacation? Colorado Springs…that must have been great.
2: Yeah, well it was all right. It was peaceful and quiet, cold; I suppose it would have been relaxing for anyone else.
1: Anyone else!? What do you mean?
2: Well, you know me. I like the hustle and bustle; the ringing of telephones and the pace of the office. It really charges me up. I like a challenge and responsibilities and the focus of knowing that your job is never finished. The bitter coffee, the cold hard desks, my rude secretary. All that peace and quiet was quite a change. Changes make me nervous.
1: Oh come on. It was a vacation. It's supposed to be a change.
2: Yeah, well, changes cause indigestion. One change changes everything you know. Once I left I missed my bed and I couldn't sleep. I wasn't used to the hotel room so I stubbed my toe in the dark trying to get to the restroom. The rental car had a better heater than my car so I had to pull over and take off my jacket. The snow was too white and I had to wear sunglasses the whole time. The air smelled funny because there wasn't any smog, and the food was too spicy so I got sick. Change causes indigestion. Nope I like my plain, greasy burgers. I like my life just the way it is. Hectic.
1: Hectic…well what ever. I could really use a break like you had, but things have been so busy around here I haven't had time for one. Besides, I guess I like a change of scenery every now and then. Colorado snow sounds really appealing right now. I guess you must really thrive on this place.
2: I really do. It's perfect. Stress and unending monotony, that's what I love. I'm glad to be back. So, what happened while I was gone.
1: Oh nothing really. Everything's just the way you left it.
2: Great.
1: Oh, except......
2: What...
1: (She takes out a long list that drops to the floor) We're now getting paid every third Friday instead of every fourth Friday.
2: No big deal.
1: The desks have been traded out for large lounge chairs and ergonomically designed faux-marble tables.
2: Huh??
1: We've switched to gourmet coffee and creamers. Everyone has been given 2 deadline extensions a month and 8 hours a week of flex and family time. New computers, (MAN 2 puts his hands over his face and begins to sob) new carpet, air fresheners, original art in the bathrooms, free newspapers. And your secretary has been promoted to plant supervisor, you'll be reporting her every Monday.
2: ?!?Is that all??!?
1: I think so. (MAN 2 starts to walk off) Where are you going?
2: (He yells) To MY OFFICE!!!
1: It not over there anymore.. You've been moved to the corner office. (She points to the opposite side of the stage.) You know the one with the view of the park.. I thought you knew.
2: ( He Screams and starts back the other way)
1: (To herself) What's his problem?
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© Copyright Eric Mason, all rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, provided no entrance fee is charged. In return, the author would appreciate being notified of any performance. He may be contacted at ecmason@ranchnet.org