By Terri Savage
When a woman still feels "empty" after doing "all the right things", she opts to visit a doctor for a spiritual check-up but is somewhat shocked at the diagnosis.
Amy
Dr Bob
(Scene - Amy's waiting in a doctor's office, reading through a magazine. In walks Dr. Bob, looking over chart as he enters. After a few seconds, he addresses Amy.)
Dr. Bob - So, you're here for a spiritual check up?
Amy - That's right, Doc. Even though I do all the things I'm supposed to do, I still seem …. Unfulfilled… hollow. I'm here to find out what else I can do.
Dr. Bob - All right, we'll see what we can do about this. I'm Dr. Bob. (extending hand to Amy)
Amy - Dr. Bob? Isn't that a character from the Muppets?
Dr. Bob - Uh… yeah, I think so.
Amy - (using muppet voice) So Dr. Bob - where's Miss Piggy?! (laughing)
Dr. Bob - Cute. Shall we get started?
Amy - ahem … sure.
Dr Bob - Let's just go over the spiritual check list. How's your prayer life?
Amy - Great! I pray every day before I eat.
Dr. Bob - Before you eat?
Amy - Yeah, "Thank you Lord for this food, please bless it into my body, Amen." (run through it sort of in a fast and "blah, blah, blah" way) You know. Oh, and I don't just do this for regular meals, though, I do this for snacks, too. ….. Even breath mints! Yep, I pray daily!
Dr. Bob - I see. And do you attend church regularly?
Amy - Oh yeah, I'm there every Sunday and Wednesday! I even joined the choir - do you want to hear me sing?
Dr. Bob - No, that's okay - I believe you. How about Bible reading - do you do this regularly?
Amy - Absolutely! I committed to reading 4 pages a day and I haven't missed yet!
Dr. Bob - And it's not helping you?
Amy - What do you mean, not helping me?
Dr. Bob - You know, new revelations, a greater understanding of God's Word, excitement about what you've read? Are you growing as you read and study the Bible?
Amy - Look Doc, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I committed to read because that's what I'm supposed to do. I go to church and I pray, just like I'm supposed to do. I came here to find out what else, if anything, I'm supposed to do as a Christian. As far as I can see, I'm very religious.
Dr. Bob - Yeah, that's usually the first sign of this illness. I think I know what's wrong. You have (deep breath, pause for affect) …… Acute Religiosity.
Amy - Acute Religiosity - what's that?!?!?!
Dr. Bob - Acute Religiosity is a very common and dangerous condition in which you mistake duties for devotion; responsibility for reverence; works for worship.
Amy - But, how? …. Why? …. What do I do now? Is there any hope?
Dr. Bob - Start by checking your motives. When you pray, are truly thankful or are you just talking? When you read, are you trying to learn or just following through on a commitment? Pay attention to why you do what you do, then learn to do them for the right reasons.
Amy - But Dr. Bob, how will I know what the right reasons are?
Dr. Bob - Ask God to check your heart. And a good sermon on the "The Dangers of a Disciplined Lifestyle" wouldn't hurt. (feel free to change the title to match your Pastor's sermon)
Amy - (Gulps) This is somewhat revolutionary! But... (pause) thank you, Dr. Bob - thank you! (shake his hand vigorously)
(Lights Out.)
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Copyright Terri Savage, all rights reserved. Should you use this script would you be so kind as to let us know of its use? terri.savage@specialtycare.net