Jack – who is always late.
Carol- coworker who’s learning how Jack operates.
Janet – coworker who’s familiar with Jack’s ways.
Janet: I can. When has he ever been on time?
Carol: But he’s an hour and ½ late!
Janet: That’s nothing. I’ve known him to come into this meeting over 3 hours late.
Carol: Well, we’re going to put an end to this in a big hurry.
Janet: We are?
Carol: Yes.
Janet: How?
Carol: With this. (pulls out present with a big bow)
Janet: What’s that?
Carol: It’s a birthday present for Jack. Today is his birthday and I bought him the loudest, most obnoxious sounding alarm clock I could find.
Janet: And you think that will get him up on time?
Carol: I’m sure it will. Wait until he hears it!
(Jack comes rushing in.)
Jack: Hey, sorry I’m late. My alarm clock didn’t go off again.
Janet and Carol give each other a meaningful look.
Carol: We’re glad you finally made it, Jack. You’re only an hour and ½ late.
Jack: Yeah, well, what do we need to discuss?
Janet: We were just going over the plans for the new stadium. Andy and Tim had a few questions.
Jack: Like what?
Carol: Here’s a list. Maybe you could go over them and we could meet again tomorrow morning, on time that is! I have some other things I have to take care of right now.
Jack: Great. I’ll see you tomorrow at 8:00am sharp.
Carol: Wonderful. By the way, Jack, I have a little something here for you. Happy Birthday.
Jack: Thanks, Carol. You didn’t have to do that.
Carol: Oh, yes I did.
Janet: I think she’s right, Jack.
.........................
(The next day)
Janet: I guess your gift didn’t work.
Carol: I can’t believe it. He couldn’t possibly have slept through that. It sounds like an air raid siren.
Janet: If anyone could sleep through it he could.
Carol: I’ll give him 5 more minutes and if he doesn’t show up, I’m leaving!
Janet: What about the stadium? You know as well as I do that we need his help on that.
Carol: Don’t I know it. If we could get this done without him believe me I wouldn’t still be sitting here right now.
(Jack comes rushing onstage.)
Jack: Sorry I’m late. That stupid alarm clock didn’t go off again!
Carol: Your brand new alarm clock didn’t go off???
Jack: I didn’t get a new alarm clock.
Janet: What about the one you got yesterday?
Jack: I just told you I didn’t get a new one.
Janet: What about the one Carol gave you?
Jack: What are you talking about?
Carol: Didn’t you open the birthday present I gave you yesterday?
Jack: Oh that. No, I didn’t open it yet.
Janet: Why not?
Jack: I like to keep gifts around unopened. They look so nice in the wrapping paper and bows. I’ve still got Christmas presents from 3 years ago that I haven’t opened.
Carol: You’ve got to be kidding. What good are they if you don’t open them and use them?
Jack: Oh, they’re good to me. They make me feel that I’m loved and special to the person who gave them to me. I like to just look at them and try to imagine what may be inside of them.
Carol: Well, you can stop imagining on mine. It’s an ALARM CLOCK. I gave it to you so you could use it and stop being late for every meeting in your life!
Jack: Gee, that was very thoughtful of you, Carol, but I probably won’t use it anyway.
Janet: Why not?
Jack: I have to use my old alarm clock because it’s a wind-up clock, and I can’t sleep without the ticking.
Carol: So give me the new one back and I’ll go buy you a new wind-up alarm clock.
Jack: I’ve already tried that it doesn’t work.
Carol: Why not?
Jack: On the new ones the tick, tock isn’t the same as my old one, which I’ve had since I was a kid. I can’t sleep without the old tick, tock.
Janet: So just use both the new one and the old one. At least the new one will go off in the morning.
Jack: I’ve tried that too, but if I do that I still can’t sleep.
Carol: Why not?
Jack: I feel like I’ve insulted one of my best friends. I’ve had that alarm clock for so long!
Carol: Arrgh! I can’t believe this!
Janet: Jack, you don’t still have my present to you from last Christmas do you?
Jack: As a matter of fact I do. It’s the nicest looking Christmas present I have so I didn’t open it yet.
Janet: Well, you’d better not open it at all now.
Jack: Why not?
Janet: Because it’s a block of cheese!
Jack: Uh, oh.
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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is
made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like
to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance
rights, they may be contacted at: joannesmiller65@gmail.com.