The Weakest Link

By Joanne Miller

Summary

A take-off of the game show on TV.  It has a host and 4 players.  The host tries to get each player, who is the head of a team at their church, to say things against the other team leaders.  She makes outrageous accusations and allows them no time to challenge what she has said.  They play a round of the game and then she tells them it’s time to vote for the Weakest Link.

Characters

Host 
Jerry – Bagel Team Leader
Kris – Nursery Team Leader
Matt – Teen Impact Team Leader
Jamie – Drama Team Leader

Script

Host: Welcome back to this round of “The Weakest Link”.  Let’s find out a bit more about our players who are still with us for this round.  Jerry, you’re the leader of the bagel team at Treasure Coast Community Church (your church name), are you not?

Jerry: Yes, I am.  We have a fine team of dedicated people who get up early to prepare coffee, tea, juice and bagels for our congregation.

Host: That’s very interesting.  That’s not the way I heard it from Kris (points dramatically at Kris), who’s in charge of the Nursery Team.

Kris: What are you talking about?

Host: Kris, do you deny that you said the Bagel Team is just a bunch of softies who wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the Nursery with 7 crying babies, 4 drippy bottles and 5 soggy diapers?

Kris: You know very well that I never said that.  I have the greatest respect and gratitude for the Bagel team.

Host: Oh really!  And how about you Matt; it’s been reported that you think the Teen Impact Team, which of course you head up, is the most innovative, strongest and best team of the entire church.

Matt: I admit I’m very proud of the Impact Team.  However, I realize we are part of the whole picture at Treasure Coast Community Church.  As for who has the best team, I really don’t see how that could matter.  We’re all there to do our best and to make a difference for Christ.

Host: Very well put, but it is true that you said the Nursery Team is made up of a bunch of babies, didn’t you?

Matt: What I said was that the Nursery Team ministers to babies.
Host: Same difference.  And last but not least is our little Miss Goody Two Shoes, Jamie.  You head up the Drama Team, don’t you Jamie?

Jamie: Yes, I do.

Host: And a little birdie snitched, I mean reported, to me that you think the Drama Team is more important than the Pastor.  After all, didn’t you say that a picture is worth a thousand words?

Jamie: Well, yes but …

Host: Just answer the questions please, no buts.  We are now about to start round 5.  So far you have only banked a pathetic $78,500 out of a possible ½ million dollars.   Remember, each correct answer in a row earns you a bigger pot.  However, you must say Bank before your question is asked in order to deposit your money and have it carry over into the next round.  After you say Bank the next question is then worth the starting amount of $1,000.  However, if you give an incorrect answer without saying Bank, you lose the money which you have so far built up and start over again at $1,000.  Let’s see if you can add to your total in this round.  With another 10 seconds coming off the clock we’ll start with the strongest link from the last round, who oddly enough was Jamie.  In history, who was the second president of the United States?

Jamie: John Adams.

Host: Correct.  Jerry, in Math what is the square root of 400?

Jerry: 20.

Host: Correct.  Kris,

Kris: Bank.

Host: In Geography, what is the capital of California?

Kris: Sacramento.

Host: Correct.  Matt,

Matt: Bank.

Host: In Fairy Tales what could Jack Spratt’s wife not eat?

Matt: Lean.

Host: Correct.  Jamie, in Literature, who created the character Jane Marple?
 
Jamie: Ian Fleming.

Host: Agatha Christie.  Jerry, in newspapers, what is dubbed the Nation’s Newspaper for the United States?

Jerry: The New York Times.

Host: USA Today.  Kris, in medicine, melanoma is a form of what disease?

Kris: Cancer.

Host:  Correct.  Matt,

Matt: Bank.

Host: In currency… (Time runs out)  Time is up.  I cannot complete the question.  In that round you banked a miserable, embarrassing, paltry $4,500.  That amount will carry over into the next round but one of you certainly will not!  Now it’s time to find out who you think is the Expert of Ineptness.  Place your votes now for the Weakest Link.

All vote.  (Small chalkboards could be used here.)

Host: Time to reveal who will be taking the walk of woe, the steps of sorrow, the amble of embarrassment.  Who is the weakest link?  Jamie, you first.

Jamie: The Host.

Jerry: The Host.

Kris: The Host.

Matt: The Host.

Host: You can’t vote me off.  I’m the host!  Besides I’m smarter than all of you put together!  You can’t do this to me!

Kris: Ms. Host, with 4 votes you are the Weakest Link.

All: Goodbye.  (Turn their backs on her.)

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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance rights, they may be contacted at: joannesmiller65@gmail.com.