Summary: This drama asks us whether we are ready for our Lord's return to earth. The setting is television's 'The Weakest Link'. Each character has a formica board with an easy wipe pen. The master, dressed like Anne Robinson, poses the questions.
Style: Dramatic. Duration: 10min
Scripture: Mark 13. 24-37
Actors: 1M, 7M/F, 1N
Master: Therefore I say unto you, KEEP WATCH for you do not know when that time will come…
Narr: It is like a man going away: He leaves his servants in charge of his house, each with his assigned task, and he tells the one at the door to keep watch. Therefore keep watch all of you, because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back !
(Servants ABCDEF are in upright sleeping positions, one (G) is awake and gives the signal…)
G: Wake up, the master has returned! (They all stir themselves, then stand as though contestants in the game show…'You are the Weakest Link'.)
Master: Are you all ready to play…the Weakest Link?
The game will be slightly different this week, you will all give some thought to the SAME question each time, then you will each vote off the weakest contestant.
Question number one!
You were all told to be on your guard, to keep watch for my return. Did I not see some of you fast asleep just now?
Look around and decide which of you is the weakest link.
(All look guilty apart from G, write furiously on boards and vote off A.)
Time to reveal what it is you've written on your boards.
Contestant B, otherwise known to friends as 'Sleeping Beauty', why have you voted to send off Contestant A; weren't you one of the guilty ones, too?
B: No, I was definitely awake, I couldn't get into a deep sleep because A snores so loudly all the time. That's why I'm voting her off.
Master: I see. Contestant A, it seems that they're all fed up with the noise you make when you're asleep, they have all voted for you, You are the weakest link Good-bye.
A : (to camera) Well I hadn't hoped to be disqualified so early in the game, and anyway it's not fair….they've all got a good right to talk, most of them were snoring louder than I was.
Master: Once more time to play the Weakest Link…
Question number two: What kind of state will I find my house in? Will I find it in good order when I go in or will it be a complete and utter mess? Will I find valuable natural resources in the bin, and tons of non-biodegradable materials tumbling out of each room? Will the water be polluted with all manner of noxious liquids, will the air be thick with fumes of ccc gases, and will I find graffitti on any of the walls?
And how clean are you yourselves?
Time to vote off your weakest link.
(All look extremely guilty, apart from G, and write furiously on boards and vote off B)
Time to reveal all…
Contestant C, did you wash your hair this morning, and I can see dirt on your trousers/skirt…why B?
C: Because B never ever volunteers to put the bin out for the bin men.
Master: Is that right, contestant B? You are lazy and you've been neglectful and irresponsible. You are not in our game anymore, You are the weakest link…Good-bye.
B: (to camera) They've got a nerve. They all fill the bags with THEIR rubbish, why should I put them out for the bin man? I throw mine away in the river. And I never do graffitti, E does that and she's always spraying herself in the bathroom, you can't get in for the smell…and at least I'm not tainted with all the 'rubbish' they watch on TV.
Master: And so we move on…We ask once more who is the Weakest Link?
Question number three: Let me ask you if there are there any people still in the house at this very moment, perhaps in one of the most remote rooms, who have had absolutely NOTHING to eat or drink for some time. I left enough for everyone in my storeroom. Have any of you been greedy and selfish and lacking in generosity towards your fellow human beings?
Time to vote off the weakest link
(All look extremely guilty, apart from G, then write furiously on the boards and vote off C.)
Master: So let's see what's on those boards…Contestant D, I hear your pavlovas are second to none, why is it you keep them all to yourself? Why have you voted for C?
D: Well we sometimes have a whip round, when we hear someone whimpering, and C never coughs up. At least we've DISCUSSED letting them off with the interest on the debt they owe us; she never joins in.
Master: Is that right contestant C, you have been very selfish, You are indeed the weakest link good-bye.
C : (to camera) I can't believe I've been voted off. The others were perfectly aware that the people upstairs are starving, too. They do very little to sort the problem out. How much and how often do you think they give? Not all THAT MUCH, I'll tell you, for a start.
Master: Time to continue playing the Weakest Link…Question number four:
Have any of you been guilty of hoarding vast amounts of my wealth in these last days? Are any of you REALLY big wage earners who keep all your wealth to yourself. I'm not talking about making yourselves poor, I'm talking about equality and a greater desire to share.
(They all look guilty apart from G, and write furiously on their boards, and vote off D.)
Master: Time to reveal who it is…Contestant E, wasn't it your husband who recently won the lottery? Quite well off, aren't you? Why D?
E: Because she was one of the richest people in the house. She's in the top wage bracket just because her hubby plays football every week on the lawn, and only trains once each week on Tuesdays. I mean, don't get me wrong, the two of them are really great people, very popular with all of us, very trendy, but I think she spends far more on herself than anyone else here.
Master: I see. Do you think you really deserve all that much money, D? Is it right to spend, spend, spend? You are the weakest link, Good-bye.
D : (to camera) I deserve every penny of that money. E is just jealous because my husband's got skill, and anyway we have to spend a lot on personal security in case of kidnapping. And while we're on, why don't you ask how much they've all got stashed away. I'm not the only guilty one.
Master: Final question before the final round. Time to play the Weakest Link
Have you been fighting with each other while I've been away, and storing up for yourselves weapons of mass destruction. Have you been threatening each other with ballistic missiles. Will I find love in my house? Will I find love for your neighbour? For those in exile? For those with different beliefs or with different colour skin?
(All look guilty apart from G, and they write furiously on their boards. They vote off E.)
Master: Time to reveal what's on the boards. F, you look a bit of a thug, why E?
F: Well, she's very aggressive and always looking for a fight, a real charva*. She gives us the impression she wants to own the world.
Master: Is that so E? You are the weakest link Good-bye.
E: (to camera) I'll tell you something. I had more real mates than any of them with all their prejudices.
Master: And now we come to the final round, We have two contestants F and G, there are only three questions left, one each and a tie breaker. Only one of them can win.
The first question goes to contestant F …
Who is the only one who knows the hour of the Lord's return….
F: The Father.
Contestant G, your question: What state should you not be in on His return?
The one who knows the answer to the next question has won the game. Give me one word, which describes what all God's servants must do in preparation for His return.
G: WATCH !
Master: Well done, good and faithful servant. F, I'm afraid you've simply run out of time. Goodbye.
F: (to camera) If only I had realised the urgency and how things would be on the master's return, I would have done far more. I would have spoken out more.
Master: And what about you, G; what have you to say for yourself?
G: ( FREEZES ) Master I…
Narrator: THERE IS AN UNUSUAL END TO THIS DRAMA, FOR THIS IS THE PART WHERE ONLY WE AS INDIVIDUALS CAN FINISH THE LAST SENTENCE,
HERE WAS A MAN WHO WENT AWAY, LEAVING HIS SERVANTS IN CHARGE OF HIS HOUSE, EACH WITH HIS ASSIGNED TASK, AND THEN OF COURSE HE COMES HOME…
WHAT IS IT WE WOULD BE SAYING TO THE MASTER ON HIS RETURN, IF WE WERE CALLED TO GIVE ACCOUNT?
HAVE WE BEEN FAITHFUL?
Song to follow: I wish we'd all been ready. (+DANCE?)
© Copyright Sheila Hamil, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.