Summary: A sketch exploring the qualities that God looks for in people, compared with what we often look for.
Style: Dramatic. Duration: 7min
Actors: 1VO, 7M
Scripture: 1 Samuel 16
Unseen Voice, Rippling Ron, Sturdy Steve, Handsome Harry, Famous Fred, Wealthy William, Influential Ian, Drippy David
Service leader: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a very important task this morning and I am going to need your help. The nation is in crisis and needs a strong leader who will sort out the problems and restore things to the way they should be. So we are going to be interviewing a few candidates this morning to see if we can find the right person for the job, and you are going to be the interview panel.
Before we meet the first candidate I think we need to agree what sort of qualities we are looking for. Any ideas what we need??
[collect ideas on flipchart]
OK, let’s leave those there to remind us of the qualities we want. Just before we meet the first candidate there is one more thing I need to tell you. The nation I am talking about that is in crisis is not this nation but Israel just over 3000 years ago, so we need to wind back the calendar to approximately 1100BC.
[Curate flicks the pages of a calendar backwards until a page is displayed which says 1100BC]
OK, here we are in 1100 BC – are we all set to meet our first candidate? Can we have our first candidate please?
[Rippling Ron enters and stands at the mic stand]
Hello, what’s your name
RR: I’m Rippling Ron, the strongest of my father’s sons.
Service leader: That sounds promising [if strength has been identified as one of the qualities, point to the flip chart]. So let’s have our first question to Ron.
Planted Questioner 1: Ron, please tell us why you think you are suited to lead Israel at this time.
RR: I think I’m well suited to lead the nation of Israel because I’m tall and strong, I’m older than my other brothers and I have an air of authority. I am also extremely w….[cut off by UV].
[Unseen voice booms across the PA from the Sound Desk]
UV: Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him!
Service leader: Oh dear. I suppose that brings that interview to an end…and it was looking so promising. Can we have the next candidate please.
[Sturdy Steve enters and stands at the mic stand]
Hello, what’s your name
RR: I’m Sturdy Steve, the second of my father’s sons.
Service leader: OK, let’s have a question for Steve.
Planted Questioner 2: Steve, tell us why we should choose you.
SS: Right, well I’m a very dependable sort of person and I’m…
UV: Not him either!
Service leader: I’m sorry Steve. It seems you're not quite what we’re looking for. [Awkward sideways glance towards the back of the church]
Right, whose next?
[Handsome Harry enters and stands at the mic stand. He tossed his hair vainly and someone wolf whistles.]
Well hello, and who have we got here then?
HH: They call me Handsome Harry, the most beautiful of my father’s sons:
Service leader: OK Harry……
Service leader: But we haven’t even asked him any questions yet.
UV: I said NO!
Service leader: [looking back to a crest-fallen Harry] Umm – look don’t call us Harry, we’ll call you…[awkwardly and quietly] but don’t wait up by the phone, will you. Next please.
[Famous Fred enters, closely followed by Wealthy William, and stands at the mic stand
FF: I’m Famous Fred.
UV: Not him.
[Service leaderjust shrugs]
WW: Wealthy William here, ready to sort out all your problems.
UV: [Deep groan] Really! Can’t you do better than that.
Service leader: Sorry, William. Next please.
[Influential Ian enters and stands at the mic stand]
Hi, who are you
II: I’m called Influential Ian.
Service leader: Ahh! A man after my own name. Looks promising! [towards the back of the church] And can we at least ask him a question this time?! OK, let’s have our first question.
Planted Questioner 3: Can you tell us how influential you are?
UV: Not him either!
Service leader: This is getting ridiculous!
UV: What’s your problem? I allowed you to ask him a question as you requested.
Service leader: Well, not being biased or anything, but I thought he was a really promising candidate.
UV: The Lord doesn’t look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
Service leader: That’s all very well, but I’m not sure there is anyone left
II, WW, FF: [together] There is our youngest brother, but he’s a bit weedy.
Service leader: What’s his name.
HH & SS: [together] We call him Drippy David.
Service leader: Well, I suppose we had better go and get him.
[The brothers drag Drippy David from the congregation]
UV: He’s the one – choose him.
Service leader: [incredulously] Are you sure? We haven’t even asked him anything yet.
UV: I certainly am sure. He’s a man after my own heart.
Service leader: OK then interview panel, let’s put it to the vote. All those in favour of Drippy David raise your hands. [Pause] That’s it then. David is appointed leader. Let’s spin forwards 3000 years.
[Service leader flicks the pages of a calendar forwards until a page is displayed which says 2011AD]
Well, here we are back in the present, and what a wise choice you turned out to make, because Drip…I mean King David went on to kill a giant called Goliath and win lots of victories for Israel and sort all the mess out so that it became a great nation. That was because the Lord saw that what was in his heart was more important than anything else.
© Ian Wallis. All rights reserved.