Summary: Two women wonder what will happen to their friend Mary Magdalene, now Jesus has been crucified. (Note: Language is that of British working class women.)
Style: Dramatic. Duration: 12min
(Joanna and Susannah are sitting talking.)
J: I wonder what that Magdalene girl’ll do now?
S: Poor Mary, she adored him!
J: Adored most of the fellows round here at one time or another, didn’t she?
S: Not after she met Jesus; not after what he did for her.
J: She seemed to be doing alright for herself – know what I mean, nudge nudge, wink wink!
S: But half the time she didn’t know what she was doing – she was away with the fairies.
J: Fairies! Who’re you kidding? She had the seven devils of hell on her back!
S: Till Jesus came along and got rid of them. God knows how. But he totally changed her.
J: So they say. Like they say he healed a blind man, and cleansed a leper.
S: And cured that cripple from Bethsaida.
J: Well I never saw any miracles. Did you?
S: Oh yes! I was at the great picnic – I was one of the thousands. And Jo, I’ll tell you, bread never tasted so good!
J: Don’t be such a plonker! Bread’s just bread, isn’t it?
S: They do say he raised a little girl from the dead…
J: Yeah. But she was a Gentile’s daughter, you can’t take that as gospel.
S: Poor Mary. Hung on his every word; followed him everywhere after he cured her.
J: I know. Proper little groupie, wasn’t she?
S: Say what you like, she’s got courage. Staying there yesterday, through… all that.
J: All what? Oh, the crucifixions? Well, when you’ve seen one…
S: I couldn’t bear to watch one. Vile Roman death, I think it’s wicked.
J: A good deterrent though. Just shows, crime doesn’t pay.
S: But Jesus wasn’t a criminal!
J: Well, they must’ve got something on him, mustn’t they? Must’ve had a reason.
S: My Ben reckons the Pharisees and that lot had something to do with it.
J: Wouldn’t be surprised. They just can’t cope with the thought of being wrong – or losing their status.
S: What Jesus said about God was … well, it made him real, somehow. I loved hearing him.
J: He told some great stories, I’ll grant you that.
S: And the crowds loved him, too. Did you go last Sunday?
J: Oh yes, a great Passover knees-up! Not sure why the donkey was invited though.
S: All the ‘Hosannas;’ and the palm branches – oh, it was wonderful, you could even forget the Romans for once.
J: All a bit OTT if you ask me. Crowd hysteria. Who did that Jesus bloke think he was? Colin Firth* [*Insert current celebrity] or the Son of God or something?
S: I heard that one of his best mates shopped him. One of the disciples.
J: Huh! What kind of a mate was that then, stabbing him in the back? ‘Et tu Brute!’
S: Most of them made themselves scarce; not surprising when you think about it.
J: Bottled out, did they? Saved their own skins, mates or not.
S: Well you can’t blame them. Jesus was given a scourging, you know.
J: Roman savages! Anyone in his right mind’d run to escape that.
S: And the mob was ready for a lynching, baying for blood.
J: Can’t trust anyone, can you? One week it’s ‘Hosanna,’ next it’s ‘Crucify him.’
S: Mary stuck by him though. Right to the end.
J: [Sarcastically] Followed him to the brink of the grave, I dare say.
S: She did! Watched them seal it with a stone. I wonder what she’ll do now, poor girl?
J: Probably go balmy again!
(The next day.)
S: Look’s like you were right, Jo; Mary’s well and truly lost it this time!
J: [Quieter; with suppressed excitement] Have you seen her then?
S: No, but it’s all over the town; she reckons she’s seen her precious Jesus.
J: Jesus, who was crucified?
S: That’s right. She’s saying she talked to him – in the garden, where they buried him not three days ago.
J: What do they say happened?
S: Well, at the crack of dawn she went to embalm the body – probably to have a good cry as well, I shouldn’t wonder.
S: Goodness knows how she thought she’d get at him, what with the stone and all; but as it turned out it wasn’t a problem.
J: How come?
S: Well the grave was already open, you see. The stone had been moved.
J: But who could have done that?
S: Don’t ask me! Anyway, Mary went and fetched a couple of Jesus’ disciples, Peter and John I think. And they came to have a look – and can you believe it? The body was gone!
J: Where? Where had it gone?
S: You tell me! They ran off to get the others, and that’s when Mary flipped.
S: Yes, like I said. Lost it. Mad as a hatter – and no Jesus to come and rescue her this time.
J: What happened, exactly? Do you know?
S: Oh, well, she says she saw Jesus, and had a chat with him!
J: And so you think she’s mad?
S: Well it stands to reason, doesn’t it? Jesus is dead, she can’t’ve seen him. She must be hallucinating – and talking to herself. First signs!
S: [Realizing Jo isn’t her usual self] Oh, come on, Jo. You’re in a funny mood today. What happened to ‘Nudge nudge, wink wink’, and ‘Bread’s just bread,’ and ‘Anyone’d think he was the Son of God?’
J: But suppose he was, Sue…
S: What? Son of God? He can’t’ve been! Don’t tell me you’ve flipped as well!
J: It’d explain all those miracles and things.
S: Well, I s’pose it would, but…
J: And if he was the Son of God…
S: Yes; what?
J: It would mean everything he said was true.
J: And of course the grave’d have to be empty.
S: Would it?
J: It would change everything. Everything, for ever.
- Hang on a minute, what are you trying to tell me?
J: [Bursting with excitement now] Susannah, I’ve seen Mary! She told me about it herself. She really did speak to Jesus this morning – I’m certain of it!
S: You mean, you believe this story?
J: Yes. [To congregation:] Don’t you?
© Copyright Sandy Copnway 2011, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.