Summary: A comical look at what could happen if an audience member at a talk show was bold enough to state their faith in God. Keywords: Faith, Fear, trust, television.
Style: Light-hearted. Dur:Approx. 30 min.
Actors: 4M, 5F
Props: Two book covers, one for Lisa’s book and one for Dirk’s. A cell phone, some tracts and/or business cards.
Mike Waterman – Producer
Emmy Lind – Talk show host
Lisa Donner – Psychologist and Author
Carla Durham – Fearful guest
Bob Durham – Carla’s husband
Iris – Audience member
Martha – Audience member
Donald – Audience member
Dirk Deveraux – Daredevil guest
Iris, Martha, and Donald are seated in the audience. Everyone else is off stage. Mike walks to center)
Mike: Good morning and welcome to Let’s Talk starring Emmy Lind. I’m Mike Waterman, the producer and announcer. In just a few minutes I’ll be making the voice over announcement as we go on the air. After that we’ll be live on national TV. You look like a great audience. We need your help to make this a great show. When I do this (silently claps) that means applaud. This (moves his hands up and toward him) means more. This (puts hands up palms out) means that’s enough. Can we practice one time. (claps, and audience claps. Does the more motion and audience gets louder. Puts hands up and audience stops) Very nice. Here we go. 3-2-1 (Theme music starts) Are you ready for a new outlook? Do you want to go to group therapy without paying a shrink? Here it is… the show that can change your life. The show that needs no awards because we have an Emmy right here every day. Let’s Talk with Emmy Lind. (motions for applause)
Emmy: (Theme music is playing, walks on stage. Mike motions for more applause and then for it to stop) Hello, Hello, Hello, and welcome to “Let’s Talk”. Today we have a very interesting show. As always, we’re going to talk about two sides of the same coin, the plusses and the minuses, the yin and yang. I know what you’re thinking – just get on with it. Well, here we go. (Get’s serious) Fear. That’s our topic for today. We’ll be meeting people who have too much and those who have none. Our expert guest for today is noted Psychologist Lisa Donner (Lisa enters) the author of “Fear – How to Push Away Your Worst Enemy. (applauds, Mike motions for applause) Welcome Lisa.
Lisa: Thank you Emmy. It’s great to be here again.
Emmy: It’s nice to have you back. Now Lisa is fear really that big a problem?
Lisa: With everything that’s been happening lately, of course. People who had no significant problems with fear just a year ago are lining up at the therapists offices these days. I think the whole country is a little on edge. That’s why I hurried to finish this book. My method is guaranteed to rid you of your worst fears – whatever type.
Emmy: Will you be able demonstrate your uh, method today?
Lisa: Certainly. I can’t tell all of my secrets of course. My publisher would kill me. But I can give you a taste of what’s in the book.
Emmy: Thank you Lisa. We have someone here who is in serious need of your book. As a matter of fact she will be receiving a copy today just for being with us on the show. Here is Carla Durham and her husband Bob. (claps, Mike motions for applause)
(Bob ushers Carla on stage and they take seats)
Emmy: Carla, nice to have you on the show.
Carla: (in a timid voice) Thank you.
Emmy: So, I hear you are having some – issues with fear.
Carla: Yes. (she is staring at the audience)
Bob: I’m afraid she has a bit of stage fright, too.
Emmy: Well, we’ll work on that a little during the commercial. We’ll be back with Carla and Lisa in just a few.
Mike: And we’re out. Two minutes Emmy.
Emmy: Lisa, see what you can do with her. I’ll be back. (runs off stage, takes a cell phone out of her bag, and places a quick call)
Lisa: (starts after Emmy) Emm – (Sighs and goes back) Carla, Carla look at me. Just relax. We’re here to help you.
Bob: Yeah, baby, we have to do something. Maybe this will work.
Carla: I know, I’ll try. Do you think Justin’s alright? Your Mom isn’t going to take him anywhere is she?
Bob: He’ll be fine.
Emmy: (to herself) Pick up. Pick up the phone please, you have to be there by now.
Mike: 20 seconds.
Emmy: Please pick up.
Mike: 15 seconds. Emmy.
Emmy: Rats! (turns off the phone and puts it back then runs to her seat)
Emmy: (to audience) And we’re back so “Let’s Talk.” (Mike motions applause) We’re here with Carla who is trying to overcome her fears, and Lisa Donner the author of “Fear – How to Push Away Your Worst Enemy” (to Carla) Now Carla, just what is it that you’re afraid of, other than being on TV of course?
Emmy: Can you tell us anything specific? (Bob starts to talk and Emmy silences him with a look and turns back to Carla) Carla?
Carla: Well, I worry a lot. I’m terribly afraid that something is going to happen to myself or my husband or my son.
Emmy: Something… being what?
Carla: Anything bad. Illness, accidents, crime…..death. I’m scared to death of death.
Emmy: I don’t think that’s unusual.
Bob: She thinks about it all the time. She’s always been worried, but it’s been worse lately.
Lisa: Exactly when did it get worse?
Carla: When our son Justin was born. I’m just so afraid of losing him. I’m afraid of not being here to raise him. (starts to cry) There just isn’t anyone who can raise him like we can.
Emmy: So, this is affecting your life, not in just how you feel but what you do?
Bob: Yes, definitely. She’s afraid to do a lot of things. She won’t even ride in a car with me. We took separate trains into the city today for her fear that the train would crash.
Carla: That way Justin wouldn’t lose both of us at once.
Bob: And she’s constantly calling the Doctor. If the kid sneezes she’s on the phone. If I sneeze she’s on the phone.
Carla: I’m just watching out for us, and it’s not that bad.
Bob: (looks at Carla) Oh yeah, she waits until the second sneeze. (Carla nods)
Emmy: So this fear is controlling your life and you want to find out how to get the control back?
Carla: (more tentatively) Yes.
Emmy: Lisa, can you offer any help here?
Lisa: Yes, Emmy, I think I can. (turns to audience) While most people have a fear of death it usually doesn’t manifest itself so completely in their daily lives. This is pretty extreme. Carla, I believe you’re suffering from “Traumatic Lifestyle Disorder”. Something in your past has caused all this fear. You need to confront those memories and push them away. (Pushes the air with her hands) Just push it away.
Carla: (confused) I don’t have any… I don’t think there’s anything in my past that could have caused this. When I was a kid I was hardly ever afraid. I knew I always had my parents to protect me, and take care of me. I need to be that kind of parent for Justin. It’s, it’s just so overwhelming.
Lisa: There must have been something. Maybe if you meditate, channel your energy, you’ll remember what it is. Then you can (pushes) push it away.
Carla: Well, I guess it won’t hurt to try. (puts arms on chair and sits up straight and still)
Martha: (from audience) Oh! This is ridiculous. (mimics Lisa) Push it away. I’d like to push…
Emmy: While Carla is concentrating, let’s go to the audience. (to Martha) You look like you have something to say. (walks to Martha with microphone) Go right ahead. What’s your name?
Martha: (surprised) Umm… (looks at Iris) Martha.
Emmy: Well, Martha let’s talk.
(Martha and Iris whisper back and forth to each other)
Emmy: No, you have to talk out loud… to the whole audience.
Martha: (points to Iris) This is Iris, she has something to say.
Emmy: Well Iris, Let’s talk.
Iris: I think I have…. I mean Martha and I have a better solution for Carla.
Lisa: And your credentials?
Martha: Credentials! Common sense….(Iris glares at Martha and she stops)
Iris: Well, I never wrote a book, but I have read one or two. I bet I’ve read one that you haven’t. It’s the best “self help” book there is.
Martha: You said it.
Emmy: You can bet that between Lisa and I we’ve read most of the better self help books. Which one are you talking about?
Martha: The Bible, of course.
(audience and panel react, some with boos, some with applause. Emmy and Lisa laugh. Bob is interested)
Emmy: The Bible might be good literature, but it’s hardly a self help book.
Martha: Have you ever read it?
Emmy: Parts of it, for a class. But we’re here to discuss Carla’s problem.
Iris: I’m sorry, I got a little off the subject. Like I said before I think I can help. I’m a lot like Carla – or a least I was. I used to worry all the time.
Martha: That’s why I thought she should do the talking.
Emmy: OK, now we’re getting somewhere. Iris, tell us what helped you?
Iris: I still worry sometimes, but not like I used to. The only thing that helped me was to learn to go to God whenever I felt scared. (speaking fast, knowing she doesn’t have much time) Having a relationship with God means that nothing can happen that you can’t handle – with His help. Even if you die, you don’t really because you immediately go to heaven. So after a while you learn not to worry as much.
Emmy: I think that’s enough of that. Does anyone else have any sugge…..
Lisa: Anyway, that’s just for Christians. Carla, are you a Christian?
Carla: (coming out of trance, shakes head) No – I don’t think so.
Lisa: There ya go…
Carla: But I do believe there’s a God, or at least a higher power.
Lisa: The higher power is up here (point to Carla’s brain). It’s in our consciousness and our unconscious.
Martha: (to Iris) There she goes again!
Lisa: (ignoring Martha) Now, Carla what did you think of? What was in your past that you can (pushes) push away.
Martha: Oh brother!
Iris: Excuse me, but can I say something else?
Emmy: I think you’ve said quite enough.
Bob: I’d like to hear her. (Bob and Carla both pay close attention to Iris)
(Audience agrees, Mike nods to Emmy)
Emmy: (through clenched teeth) The audience is always right. I don’t think you can help her. She said she wasn’t a Christian. (smiles brightly) But, go ahead and let’s talk. (puts the microphone in her face)
Iris: She could be a Christian. She says she believes in God. All she has to do is admit she can’t make it without him and….
Emmy: Hold it I didn’t think you were going to try to convert her. We don’t do that here. We talk. We discuss issues. We help people with problems. We don’t preach…
Martha: Oh, please. You don’t care about Carla or helping anyone with their problems.
Emmy: We’re certainly not here to convert people to Christianity. If I let you do that, then I’d have to give equal time to the Buddhists, Muslims, and the Hari Krishna’s and on and on. Do you want that?
Martha: No. Yes. Bring em on, and may the best faith win!
Iris: (calms Martha with a hand on her shoulder)We’re not trying to convert anyone. I’m just telling Carla what worked for me. I thought that’s what this show was about.
Emmy: Yes, but…
Carla: Wait, I want to hear what Iris has to say.
Emmy: (getting a signal from Mike) Alright. You will, right after this commercial message.
Mike: And we’re out. (Emmy runs off stage to her phone) Two minutes Emmy.
(Bob and Carla talk quietly to each other, Lisa looks at her book)
Emmy: (near panicky) Curtis. Curtis, talk to me. I know you’re there – well, maybe the plane was late. When you get in please call me at work. We really need to talk. Bye.
Mike: Thirty seconds. Emmy…
Emmy: (tries to compose herself, then walks back in) Ok, when we’re back on the air we’ll hear from Iris and then we’ll move on to the second part of the program. Is everybody ready?
Panel and Audience: (nod) yes.
Mike: We’re back in three, two, one. (Mike motions for applause, points to Emmy)
Emmy: And we’re back. We’re talking to Carla and Bob about how fear is controlling their life. When we took the break Iris (points to the audience) was just about to give Carla some advice. (moves to the audience with microphone) Go ahead Iris and “Let’s Talk”.
Iris: (grimaces slightly at Emmy then turns to Carla) Carla, remember when you said you weren’t afraid when you were a kid? You said your parents were always there to take care of you. God wants to be that parent that will always be there for you. You still may have that tendency to worry, but you will have someone to turn to for help. God will help you. I made a mistake earlier when I called the Bible a self help book. It’s not really, it’s better. It will lead you to real help – from God.
Emmy: That’s nice. Thank you Iris. Now, it’s time to get to the flip side of the coin.
Lisa: May I make one more observation please?
Emmy: Yes of course. (under her breath) Make it quick.
Lisa: (holds up her book) I only got to (looks at Emmy, then Iris) briefly mention one of the techniques in my book. There are many more that would prove helpful.
Martha: (stands)Yeah, Yeah, we know. Go buy the book. That’s what this is all…
Iris: (pulls Martha down) Shh...
Emmy: Yes, well. We have another guest to introduce. Please give a warm welcome to Dirk Devereaux. (Mike motions for applause, Emmy motions for everyone to move down one seat)
(Dirk jogs to the stage, bows, greets Emmy then sits in the newly vacant seat. He has a bandage on one hand)
Emmy: Nice to see you again Dirk.
Dirk: It’s good to be here. Good to see…
Emmy: (points to bandage) What happened?
Dirk: Oh, nothing. Just a motorcycle accident.
Emmy: Um hm. (joking) What were you doing trying to jump a dozen cars?
Dirk: (serious) Two dozen. But who’s counting?
Emmy: For those of you who don’t know Dirk, he is the biggest daredevil since Evil Kneivel. So what’s up next, Dirk? Are there anymore world records you’re trying for?
Emmy: Expedition to Antarctica?
Dirk: Been there.
Emmy: Crocodile wrestling?
Dirk: Done that.
Emmy: Then, what’s next for you?
Dirk: I haven’t decided.
Emmy: Well, I guess we all hit points in our lives when we don’t know what’s next. The important thing is that you don’t seem afraid at all.
Emmy: So do you have any advice for Carla?
Dirk: She could read the book I just wrote. It’s due out next week. (holds up the book) It’s called “Living Life to the Fullest – Dirk Devereaux’s Guide to Living Without Fear.”
Martha: (stands) From what I’ve heard it should be “Dirk Deveraux’s Guide to Staying Alive Without Enough Fear.”
Dirk: Funny. (winks at Martha)
Iris: Sometimes fear can be good. It can warn us…
Martha: Keeps us from doing stupid things, like trying to jump cars on a motorcycle.
Lisa: Yes, some fear is normal, healthy even.
Dirk: Now you’re telling me I’m not normal?
Martha: If the shoe fits.
Dirk: Wait a minute, I’ve been watching from back in the green room. You’ve all been whining about how fear ruins your life. Now you’re attacking me because I don’t have any? I’d say you are all jealous.
Martha: (sarcastically) Right.
Emmy: Dirk, tell us more about your book. It looks very interesting.
Dirk: It’s mostly about my life and all the amazing things I’ve done.
Martha: Does it tell about all the accidents, too?
Dirk: Yes, it does. I’ve had my share but I’ve always recovered, never had any fear that I wouldn’t.
Emmy: No, I guess not.
Dirk: I feel really sorry for people like Carla. She’s missing out on so much.
Carla: That’s just great, but can you help? Or is your brain just wired different from mine.
Emmy: That is a possibility.
Dirk: (smiles) True, but I think anyone can achieve fearlessness. It’s all in the attitude.
Martha: Oh brother.
Emmy: Let’s hear from someone else in the audience. Does anyone have a question?
Donald: (raises his hand) I do.
Emmy: Go right ahead. Tell us your name and let’s talk.
Donald: I’m Donald. My question is for Lisa. In your book you talk about the past being the key to present fears. You say that you need to find the thing in your past that is the root cause and confront it.
Lisa: Yes, just (Pushes) push it away.
Donald: Have you used the methods in your book to help you deal with fear?
Lisa: Certainly, I’ve used it with several of my patients…
Donald: That’s not what I meant. I meant you personally.
Lisa: My methods are based on the way normal people, like myself, handle fear, so yes…
Donald: But you’ve only clinically tested your methods on your patients?
Lisa: I guess if you put it that way…
Donald: It seems to me that Carla would be better off listening to people like Iris or maybe one of your patients who have personal experience. (audience agrees)
Lisa: Maybe so, but I’m afraid none of my patients are here and their names are confidential.
Donald: (under breath) Hmmm. Not surprising.
Lisa: (starting to get defensive) What did you say again?
Donald: That I’m not surprised.
Lisa: (exasperated) But what did you mean by that?
Martha: (to Iris) She’s getting a little defensive if you ask me.
Donald: Nothing. I just don’t think that your - method is going to be very helpful to Carla.
Lisa: Are you a psychologist, Donald?
Donald: No, but...
Lisa: Then how can you dismiss my methods? You don’t have the background.
Donald: You didn’t let me finish. Right now, I’m employed as a bio-chemist, but I have a Bachelor’s in Chemistry and a Master’s degree in Psychology. My job is to study the brain. I’ve been involved in many studies of human behavior.
Lisa: What I’ve discussed here is only a small part of my book. You can’t dismiss my methods on just this small sample.
Donald: I’ve read your book. Your methods aren’t proven. You don’t provide enough cases or any controls in your documentation.
Lisa: I have to disagree with you.
Emmy: So Donald, do you have any suggestions?
Donald: Yes. Don’t hurry a book to publication.
Emmy: I meant for Carla.
Donald: Oh, sorry. Carla, don’t listen to Lisa.
Bob: (exasperated) Great! Just Great!
Donald: Listen to Iris. I think Iris was right when she said that Carla needs God to take the place of the parents she relied on as a child.
Martha: Amen, brother.
Lisa: Not another one. Wait a minute I thought you were a scientist.
Emmy: Are you basing your opinion on science or personal experience like Iris?
Donald: Both. I’m a scientist and a believer.
Lisa: So have you personally proven this God method to handle your fear?
Donald: Not exactly…
Lisa: Then how can you criticize me?
Donald: May I finish my explanation?
Emmy: (signal from Mike) Yes you may, right after this break.
Mike: We’re out. (Emmy makes a dash for her phone, Lisa follows) Three minutes everyone.
Lisa: Emmy, how could you let him attack me like that? On live TV!
Emmy: Nobody attacked you.
Lisa: He insinuated that I didn’t know what I was doing. He practically called me a quack.
Emmy: I’m sorry Lisa, I can’t talk now. (starts dialing)
(Lisa exits the stage area and Bob arrives)
Emmy: (with the phone) Still no answer. Where is he? I hope it’s not too late.
Bob: Too late for what?
Emmy: Oh nothing. It’s not important.
Bob: Um hmm.
Bob: Em, I know you. You don’t go running off the set every break when it’s nothing.
Emmy: Keep your voice down. We don’t need the audience to find out you work here.
Bob: It’s not like we’re acting. Carla does really have this problem. That’s why I suggested this show. I wish we’d gotten a better expert.
Emmy: I know this is above board but it would be hard to get them (points to audience) to believe it.
Bob: Yeah I guess. Em, you are a pro at changing the subject. Tell me what’s been eating at you.
Emmy: I can’t. Not right now.
Bob: After the show then. (goes back to his seat)
Mike: Twenty seconds Emmy.
Emmy: Yeah, the show. (goes to her seat)
Mike: We’re back in 3, 2, 1. (Mike motions for applause, points to Emmy, everyone except Lisa is back in their seats)
Emmy: Hello again. When we left we were just about to hear from Donald. He agrees with Iris about Carla needing God to help her with her fears and now is going to tell us why. Donald, let’s talk.
Donald: Thank you Emmy. I never had too much fear, (crowd jeers) but I’ve had to deal with the reality of what Carla is afraid of. (crowd is sympathetic, especially Carla) I know that if I hadn’t found God I never would have made it. If God can get me through the loss of my wife and baby daughter, he should be able to get Carla through her fear of loss.
Carla: How did it happen?
Donald: A car accident - three years ago.
Carla: You see Bob, it could happen to anybody. It could happen to you or me just as well as him.
Bob: But it doesn’t happen to everybody. You act like you’re going to be killed every time you walk out the door.
Dirk: Actually, most fatal accidents happen in the home.
Bob: You’re a big help.
Dirk: Any time.
Donald: My point was that if I could deal with the real thing – with God’s help, then you could deal with the fear.
Emmy: That makes sense to me.
(Donald sits. Emmy starts to talk but Donald stands and takes back the microphone)
Donald: I’d also like to invite Carla and Bob to my church. (mixed audience reaction)
Emmy: That’s very nice. Lisa, what do….(looks at Lisa’s chair, and starts toward the stage)Where’s Lisa?
Martha: Maybe she forgot she was supposed to come back. Just pushed it away… (laughter from audience and a snicker from Emmy)
(Mike brings Lisa back on stage)
Lisa: I got caught in the line in the ladies room.
Emmy: That could happen to anyone.
Dirk: It happened to me once.
Dirk: (slightly embarrassed) It’s a long story.
Emmy: That’s another show. (goes back to seat) Well, let’s get back to our topic.
Bob: I have a question for Donald.
Emmy: Donald? Oh, in the Audience. Donald, would you answer a question?
Donald: (stands) Be glad to.
Bob: You said that God helped you with your – crises. How?
Donald: That’s not easy to explain, but I’ll try. God doesn’t just take away the pain, but he does give comfort and strength to deal with it. Knowing Jesus gives me hope of a great life after this one and better days here on earth.
Lisa: Everyone who is educated knows that Jesus is just a crutch for the weak.
Donald: He’s a crutch alright, but he makes the weak strong.
Iris: Lisa, isn’t your book, or method or whatever a crutch, too?
Lisa: No, It’s a tool.
Carla: I think I’d rather have a crutch.
Martha: You go girl.
Carla: Iris, can you tell me how to find Jesus?
Bob: Both of us.
(Lisa gets Emmy’s attention)
Emmy: We don’t have much time left, and we haven’t formally heard from Lisa.
Martha: Oh yes, we have. Let Iris talk.
(most of audience agrees)
Emmy: (looking at Mike) We will, right after this commercial message.
Mike: And we’re out.
Emmy: (makes another mad dash to her phone and dials) Come on, be there.
Mike: Emmy, who are you trying to call?
Emmy: Curtis, who do you think? He was supposed to be home hours ago.
Mike: Was he flying in?
Emmy: Yes. (her eyes get big) What do you know?
Mike: It may be nothing. There was a crash this morning. Do you know what flight he was on?
Emmy: No, but it was coming in from Boston. (Mike winces) It was his plane wasn’t it?
Mike: The plane that crashed was coming from Boston, but so were others. There are a million possible explanations why he’s not here.
Emmy: When did the news come in? How did I miss it?
Mike: I think the news feed came in just before you went on the air.
Emmy: And no one told me?
Mike: No one knew Curtis was coming in this morning. You haven’t talked to anyone. You’ve been on that phone every spare minute.
Emmy: Right, I’m sorry. (to herself) Here I was afraid he was leaving me. (to Mike) I’ve been too preoccupied today. It kind of shows (point to set) out there.
Mike: No – why do you say that?
Emmy: I’ve lost control of the Audience. Martha is practically taking over.
Mike: She’s funny. Don’t worry, the show’s great. We’re going to get high ratings for this one. Maybe you should be preoccupied more often.
Emmy: Don’t even think that. (dials again)
Mike: The phone is ringing off the hook. Why didn’t we think about this sooner. Maybe we should have some Hari Krishna’s on. Are they still around?
Emmy: I don’t know.
Mike: You mentioned them before. Oh well, it’s almost time to go back on. Are you ready?
Emmy: Yeah. (closing the phone) If Curtis calls, have him hold for me. Please?
Mike: Will do. Emmy, don’t worry.
Emmy: Yeah, right. Oh, what do I do about – Iris?
Mike: Let her talk. Fifteen seconds everyone.
(Emmy runs back to her seat)
Mike: We’re back in three, two, one. (motions for applause, points to Emmy)
Emmy: And we’re back with Carla and Bob who have just asked Iris how they can find Jesus. So Iris, Let’s talk.
Iris: (looks at Donald who nods, takes a deep breath and quick prayer) If you read the Gospels, that’s the first four books of the New Testament, you find out that Jesus was God’s son. He was sent to earth to be human so that we could relate to Him. He taught people about who God is and what he wants from us. He told us that we couldn’t save ourselves. Only the grace of God can save us. Then he died for our sins. He took on the sins of the world and became the last sacrifice ever needed. Three days later he rose from the dead, to let us know that if we believe in Him we too will rise from the dead and live with him forever. He’s offered all of us a gift and all we have to do is accept it. We just believe in Jesus and follow Him.
Lisa: Yeah, but then you have to stop smoking and drinking and anything fun. And you have to start going to church and reading your Bible all the time.
Donald: We don’t have to do any of those things. I choose to go to church and read my Bible because it brings me closer to Jesus. It brings me more comfort. As for fun, I’ve had more fun since I met Jesus than ever before.
Martha: Amen. (To Iris) He’s cute. I wonder if he’s available.
Emmy: Well, thank you Iris, and Donald, and Martha, you’ve given us quite a bit to think about.
Bob: Ok, so all we have to do is read the Bible?
Iris: Start with the New Testament and pray…
Carla: I’ve never prayed before. How…
Iris: That’s easy. Just talk to God. You don’t even have to do it out loud. He can hear your thoughts.
Carla: What do I say?
Martha: Just tell him what’s on your mind.
Carla: Iris, Can you help me?
Martha: Certainly. Right Iris? (Iris nods)
Iris: We can get together after the show.
Bob: (looks at Mike) How about right now?
Lisa: (to Emmy) You’re not going to let this happen on your show are you?
Emmy: (looks at Mike who signals yes) Apparently, I am.
Carla: Here goes. (Closes her eyes and starts moving her lips like she’s talking to herself, Bob does likewise)
Iris: Tell God, that you believe in him and his son….
Emmy: (to Lisa) It looks a lot like what you had her doing. Let’s just watch.
Iris: … that you know you can’t handle anything on your own and you need help. Ask him to help you live each day, and not worry about the next. Then, say Amen.
(Bob and Carla finish and look up.)
Bob: Is that all?
Iris: Now, you need to read the Bible, and learn more about God. You’ve taken the first step but that is just the beginning.
Lisa: See - you don’t ever get something for nothing.
Martha: That’s not what she meant.
Donald: Carla, if you said all those things and meant them, you’ve already received the best gift ever – a new life. God will always be there for you.
Iris: It’s just that if you don’t pray and read the Bible and learn more about him, then you won’t see many of the benefits in this lifetime.
Carla: I get it. Going to church, and reading the Bible and spending time with other believers makes life easier here.
Martha: (fake English accent) By jove, I think she’s got it.
Dirk: I can’t believe this. How could a place that is so controlling, and boring, like a church, make anything easier. All those rules….
Martha: Obviously, you haven’t been to the right church.
Carla: How do I know what the right church is?
Martha: Just go.
Iris: The one where you feel the most at home is usually the right one for you. You’ll know. Why don’t you try ours first or Donald’s?
(Lisa gets Emmy’s attention)
Emmy: Ok, back to our topic - Fear. How much is the right amount? We have Carla who says fear is running her life, and Bob who says it’s ruining his. Then there’s Dirk who has never known fear. We have about two minutes to wrap this up, so let’s talk. Dirk, any comments?
Dirk: (holds up his book) Everything you want to know about living without fear, is right in here: “Living Life to the Fullest – Dirk Devereaux’s Guide to Living Without Fear.”
Lisa: Thank you, Emmy. I think we’ve gotten a little off the subject today, and if you really want to learn about how to handle your fears, read my book. (holds up book and starts to read title)
Emmy: (getting a signal from Mike) And that’s all the time we have. We’ll be back tomorrow, with Slim Jim Farnham to talk about getting fit and, well, of course the flip side. We’ll see you on, Let’s talk. Bye Bye.
Mike: And we’re out. Great show. I can just see those ratings points.
(Iris, Martha and Donald come to the set to talk to Carla and Bob)
Lisa: Great show! That was the worst show I’ve ever done.
Mike: (moves toward Emmy) The phone has been ringing since the first commercial break. Very controversial. Emmy, I think we should do a show with Catholics and Pr…Presbyterians? You know examine the differences.
Emmy: (to Mike) That’s good, Mike. Heard anything from Curtis?
Mike: No news yet.
Lisa: Emmy you can’t ignore this. You just let that guy keep talking and talking. You hung me out to dry.
Emmy: (turning away) I’m sorry…I have to…
Lisa: My reputation could be ruined.
Emmy: (turns to Lisa) You know what? I could have done more talking. I could have told them that we used you as our expert because your agent begged us to. I could have said that I knew you in college when you were barely passing.
Lisa: How could you turn on me like this? What is your problem?
Emmy: I have a marriage to salvage. That is if – if I still have a husband. Can we talk later? I’m going to call the airport. I’ll be on the phone until I find out where he is. (exits)
(Lisa goes back to the set to get her book)
Bob: (approaching Mike) What’s up with her today?
Mike: Curtis is missing. He was supposed to fly in this morning from Boston.
Bob: The crash? (Mike shrugs) No wonder she’s been so out of it.
Mike: Yeah, but it didn’t hurt the show.
Bob: (sarcastically) And that’s all that matters, isn’t it? (walks to Carla)
Mike: (defensively) What?
Bob: Hey, Carla. I’m going back to see if I can help Emmy.
Carla: What’s wrong?
Bob: She can’t find her husband. He might have been on that plane that crashed this morning. (exits)
Carla: Oh no. That’s why she was making all those calls?
Martha: I thought she was just full of herself.
Iris: You know what we have to do.
Martha: Of course.
Iris, Donald, Martha: Pray.
Iris: Why don’t you join us Carla.
(they move to the side and huddle together)
Dirk: I just don’t get it.
Lisa: They feel powerless. There’s nothing they can do to help Emmy so they create something. It makes them feel useful.
Dirk: I guess I’ll never get it. You want to get something to eat? I’m starving.
Lisa: Better yet, let’s go get something to drink. (they start to exit)
Dirk: Don’t worry about the show. People won’t remember what Donald said. They’ll remember seeing your book on the show. No such thing as bad publicity.
(Dirk and Lisa exit)
Emmy: (walking back to her seat with her phone) Come on, ring.
Bob: Emmy, there’s a call for you in the office.
Emmy: Tell Janice to take a message. I’m waiting for a call from the airport.
Bob: I think you’ll want to take this one.
Bob: Yep. He’s still in Boston. It seems he missed his plane.
Emmy: Thank God! (exits)
Iris: Thank you, God, for Curtis’ life and for Carla’s.
Bob: Amen! (hugs Carla)
Carla: (to Iris, Donald, and Martha) Thank you all so much. I’m so glad you were here.
Martha: We are, too. And to think I almost walked out. (starts digging in purse)
Bob: We’re glad you didn’t.
Martha: Me too.
Donald: Nice to meet you. Here is the address and phone number of my church. (hands Carla a card) I hope to see you some time.
Iris: I think that’s what Martha is looking for.
Martha: (Pulls out a few tracts.) Here, these will explain a little morec and there is the address of our church.
Iris: We’d better go. Nice to meet you. Take care and God Bless.
(Martha, Donald, and Iris exchange good byes with Bob and Carla and leave)
Bob: I’m taking the rest of the day off, let’s go home.
Carla: I was thinking…
Carla: Why don’t we spend the rest of the day in the city, and have a nice dinner?
Bob: I like it. We haven’t done that in a long time.
Carla: (with a sly smile) Then you can take the 7:20 and I can take….
Carla: the same train as you.
Bob: (as they’re leaving) That’s better. I guess old habits die hard.
Carla: True. Better not use that word.
Carla: No, old. (both giggle)
© Copyright Pamela Baker, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.