Actors: 1M, 1F, 1M/F
Summary: God places a personal call on your life. How will you respond? Keywords: Evangelism, telephone, God’s call, discipleship.
Teenage with cell phone
Harried Mom on home phone
Businessman on office phone
(The three characters are located on three different stage areas. Only props are the 3 phones and something to put the office phone on – small desk. Each area is spotlighted during the characters’ lines.)
(The play opens in the dark and three different phones ring: a cell phone with a distinctive ring tone ( a rock song); a household phone ring and an office phone buzz.
Lights up on teenager, who answers cell phone.)
Teenager: Yeah? (Pause) Who? (Pause) Brandon, quit kidding around. (Pause)
You’re not Brandon? (Pause) Then who are you? (Pause) God? Uh-h, right. (Closes cell and turns it off.)
(Cell rings again. Teenager looks at it incredulously for a moment, then answers it.)
Teenager: How did you do that? My cell was off! (Longer pause) Yeah, okay – if you did create the universe, I guess that wouldn’t be a problem for you. Are you really God? (Pause) Why are you calling me? (Pause) Whaddya mean I called you? (Pause) You know about that? (Pause) Well, I was in a bind, you know? I didn’t really think you would take me seriously! (Pause)
Teenager: But seriously, thanks for helping me out of that situation. I was really scared! What….what do you want from me, God?
(Lights out. A household phone type ring is heard.)
(Light come up on Harried Mom just picking up the phone.)
Mom: (Picks up, but before talking, covers the mouthpiece to yell at her two kids.) Justin, leave your sister alone! Alana, give that back to your brother! (Removes hand from mouthpiece) Hello? Just a sec… (Covers the mouthpiece again to talk to kids) Mommy’s on the phone. Go play in the living room…and NO fighting!
Mom: (Removes hand from mouthpiece again) Hi. Sorry about that. Who is it? (Pause) Excuse me. (Yells at kids, not bothering to cover the mouthpiece) Don’t make me come in there, you two!
Mom: (Talking back in mouthpiece) Now who did you say it was? I thought you said, “God”! (Laughs a little.) (Pause) You did say, “God”? Uh-h-h, I… don’t… think God uses Telus to communicate! (Goes to hang up then listens again.) What? I’m really too busy to listen to you. (Pause) What do you mean that’s why you had to use the telephone? (Yells at kids again.) Justin, what fell over in there? (To God) If you’re really God, I could sure use some peace and quiet around here! (Pause) You’re right – peace is what I really need! How did you know that? (Pause) Right! You’re God! Tell me…. how do I find peace?
(Lights out. A business phone type buzz is heard.)
(Light comes up on Businessman just picking up the phone.)
Businessman: Taylor, here. How can I help you? (Pause) You can help me? I didn’t catch your name… (Pause) God? G-O-D?? (Pause) Ohh-kay.
(Hangs up phone then pushes intercom button, still speaking into the handset.)
Bman: Darlene, you’ve got to do a better job of screening my calls. Some crackpot just called claiming to be God! (Pause) What do you mean there haven’t been any calls? (Pause) Okay, okay! I’m not questioning you, but how.....?
(Hangs up, shaking his head. Phone rings again. Businessman answers.)
Bman: Taylor. How may I help…. (Pause) Oh, it’s you again! How do you keep getting past my secretary? (Pause)
Bman: Well, if you’re God, …umm… tell me what I’m working on right now. (Pause) The Quagmire contract? (Incredulous) Yeah, you’re right … but… you couldn’t know that… (Pause) What are you saying, that’s not all you know about it? (Pause) I haven’t even done that yet! I was only thinking about doing it! (Pause) Well, yeah, I know it’s not strictly by the book, but it will save me thousands. I don’t have any other choice, if I want to keep my business from folding! (Pause) I do? Just trust You?
Copyright Heather Cooper, all rights reserved.