Summary: A doctor’s office where the prescriptions are biblical, but the circumstances are unusual. In this case an eccentric young woman with a broken heart and a penchant for unusual behavior. Keywords: Broken-hearted, healing
Style: Light-hearted. Duration: 6min
Actors: 1M, 1F
Scripture: Psalm 147:3
(Opening setting: Female patient sitting on a chair just one side of center stage. Fretting, twisting hair, wringing a scarf, mumbling – whatever seems most apprehensive – maybe all three – until Dr. Mc walks in…)
Dr. Mc: Good morning – welcome to Grace Hospital – what can we do for you today?
Female: It’s my heart, Dr.
Dr. Mc: Ooooo, that’s bad.
Female: I know.
Dr. Mc: Symptoms?
Female: Yes. I have those. (Noticeable pause)
Dr. Mc: Can you share some of them with me?
Female: (As if caught in a blonde moment) Oh, (Nervous giggle) right. Sorry – I’ve just been so distracted lately.
Dr. Mc: So… symptoms.
Female: Yes, those are changes in the body or its functions, experienced by the patient – that would be me - and indicative of disease.
Dr. Mc: (Smiles and sits down next to her – she is still visibly nervous) Yes, I know what the term symptoms mean – in fact that bit of knowledge probably cost me a thousand dollars in medical school.
Female: You should have asked me – I use Wikipedia, (beat) and it’s free.
Dr. Mc: Good to know. (Beat) Now I want to make sure my next question is very clear. You’re listening, right?
Female: (Smiling) yes.
Dr. Mc: And you came here for a reason, right?
Female: You’re so smart.
Dr, Mc: You mentioned it had something to do with your heart.
Female: (as if he’s telling the story) So then what happened?
Dr. Mc: Noooo, this is where you help me finish the story.
Female: (as if snapping out of it). Oh…. Yes…. My heart.
Dr. Mc: This doesn’t have to do with guilt does it? I had a patient a couple of weeks ago who wanted it surgically removed.
Female: I thought you signed a patient confidentiality agreement.
Dr. Mc: Ahhh, but I never told you her name.
Female: Ah, I guess that makes it OK.
Dr. Mc: (Statement) Your heart hurts.
Female: You can tell that just by looking at me?
Dr. Mc: You told me so just…(Looks exasperated then calms down) Look, I’m thinking maybe I can’t help you.
Female: I’m just messin’ with ya. It’s how I cope. (Slight laugh)
Dr. Mc: Well, you’re skilled
Female: Thank you… Look, Dr.
Dr. Mc: Call me McDreamy.
Female: (Pause) Look Dr, there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do to heal my broken heart – even playing stupid doesn’t help.
Dr. Mc: You can say that again.
Female: Even playing stupid doesn’t help. The thing is, I feel like someone ripped out my heart, stomped on it, put it out in the sun to bake, used it for target practice and called it names – mostly in Swahili.
Dr. Mc: Wow, that is bad – and slightly terrifying.
Female: But you can help, right?
Dr. Mc: Sure, but you have to promise never to describe your heart that way again. Look, here at Grace Hospital we have direct access to Healing Grace. This is offered by our chief physician.
Female: (Excited) Healing Grace. Sounds like an alternative folk band.
Dr. Mc: He even has a motto.
Female: Oooo, cool. How do I get one?
Dr. Mc: Focus... Here goes… He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Female: Wow, He really is a great physician.
Dr. Mc: He has access to all your files and He’s aware of how you feel, who you’ve hurt and who’s hurt you. He knows when your heart is broken and he knows the pain will probably still linger even after the healing has started.
Female: He’s even smarter than you!
Dr. Mc: That’s right.
Female: I bet He even knew about Wikipedia.
Dr. Mc: I’m not sure He really cares.
Female: You made it sound like He was very caring.
Dr. Mc: Oh, he’s very caring – about the important stuff.
Female: Like me.
Dr. Mc: Yeah, like you. (Scribbles a prescription) OK, here’s you’re prescription.
Female: (Looks at the script) Psalm 147:3
Dr. Mc: Three times a day minimum.
(Start heading off stage)
Female: I’d just like to thank you Dr.
Dr. Mc: You can call me McDreamy.
Female: So, Dr. Can you direct me to the L.A. Freeway.
Dr. Mc: (Confused) A few hundred miles west. (beat) Are you lost?
Female: No, the last name is Johnson (or whatever last name you want)
Dr. Mc: Let me guess – the stress is back.
Female: Is it that obvious?
(Fade to black.)
© Copyright Glenn Hascall, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.