A Christmas Musical

By James Jack and Cameron Smith

Summary

A humorous retelling of the Christmas story in a musical format, told through the rewriting a collection of secular Christmas songs to have a Christian message.

Setting: Jerusalem, 5-4 B.C.

Characters:

(NB: This was originally written for a kid's club/Sunday school group to perform, with a leader taking the part of narrator.)

Script

Narrator: Mary, the young lass who was meant to be marrying Joseph in a little while, was just going about her business one day, when suddenly an angel of God appeared to her. She was afraid, because angels didn't appear to her very often. But the angel knew what she was feeling, so he sang a song to her, as you do:

Gabriel: (to the tune of Santa Clause is coming to town)

Narrator: Then the angel Gabriel left her, but he had put Mary in a bit of singing mood.

Mary: ('Santa Clause is coming to town')

Narrator: Of course, nothing goes according to plan, and it just so happened that Mary and Jo had to travel to Joseph's home town of Bethlehem for the Census. Some time later, they arrived late at night, with a very pregnant Mary. They go from inn to inn, but everywhere they go, bright neon lights seem to flash No Vacancy. It was at this point that they just happened to bump into an all singing, all dancing innkeeper.
You know the story of Mary and Joseph and the shepherds and the wise guys,
But do you recall the most important story of them all?

Innkeeper: (To the tune of 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer')

Narrator: After being generously offered the stable to sleep, and after negotiating the cows, sheep, camels, llamas and other denizens of the farmyard, Mary gives birth to a child. But this was no ordinary child - no, the child did not sing, but his parents did!

M & J: (to the tune of 'Oh Christmas Tree')

Narrator: Meanwhile, (to 'High on a Hill' from the Sound of Music)

Shepherds: But that's not even a Christmas song!

Narrator: - But everyone else gets to sing! I was missing out, and I just felt like joining in! Fine then! The angels, though, (bitter tone) they of course broke into song 'cos everyone except the Narrator gets to sing...

Angel: (to the tune of 'Jingle Bells')

Narrator: - So after grabbing another beer, these Nerdy shepherds could not help themselves, but had to sing, sing, sing- (To 'Climb Every Mountain')

Shepherd: That's still not a Christmas carol! (to the tune of 'Frosty the Snowman')

Narrator - Gee, he knows an awful lot for just a shepherd! At the same time, From far off, a certain number of wise men came. There may have been three, but the information as to their precise numerality has not been divulged to us. They brought gifts of gold, incense and myrrh - perhaps a few couldn't afford presents, or felt that their presence was present enough. Maybe the long journey had eaten into their resources and some had to give joint gifts. I suspect that one or two may have felt uncomfortable about giving so much perfume to a male baby. Whatever the case, they followed a star to the house where Joseph, Mary and Jesus were staying. As with most other characters in this story, they were very musically inclined - in enthusiasm if not skill. (wise men enter carrying a carboard star and "following" it)

Wise men: (to 'Deck the halls')

Narrator: Inspiring! Absolutely inspiring! (to 'How do you solve a problem like Maria')

Wise Men: What is your obsession with that movie?!

Narrator: Fine then! I can take a hint! Anyway, as in all musical productions, it would be pretty pointless if we did not end with one final huge song, featuring the entire cast! SO, in the true Spirit of all such Christmas Musicals, you'll be pleased to know that Jesus was born safely into the world, the shepherds found the Baby Jesus by following his loud crying, the 6 Wise Men followed a star, and they all lived happily ever after....Or did they? Did something else happen after the first 10 minutes of Jesus' life? Why didn't God just end the story there? Why'd he have to go and kill off his own Son? And why do we sing these ridiculous songs every year? Here's one you may not be so familiar with - our grand finale!

(to the tune of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas')

© Copyright  by James Jack gday_bruce@hotmail.com and Cameron Smith cambob101@hotmail.com 
All rights reserved. This play may be performed free of charge in any not-for-profit situation. However, in return the authors would appreciate being notified of any performance.