By Paul E. Russell
Everyone's Welcome is a fun way to demonstrate the ideal of Christianity, everyone is welcome. It is great as a church welcome or light hearted pre-sermon skit.
Person One & Person Two
Person 1: It is my honour today to welcome all of the teachers, the doctors and the nurses to church. We hope that you were all blessed this week and we bid you welcome (turns to leave).
Person 2: (grabs Person One and whispers in his ear)
Person 1: Oh yeah, sorry - how could we forget. We would also like to welcome all of the mothers and housewives, chemists and scientists. We hope that you will receive the word of Christ here today. Welcome to church. (turns to leave again)
Person 2: (Grabs person One again and whispers in his ear)
Person 1: What! Oh really - are you sure that that is our job to do? Okay then. We would like to welcome all of the psychologists, anthropologists, palaeontologists and architects. We welcome you all to church.
Person 2: (nudges person One and coughs)
Person 1: (glares back at person Two and crosses his arms, person One nods more violently) Fine … I would really like to welcome all of the plumbers, carpenters, tradesmen and tradeswomen, anyone who works in retail or hospitality, any IT people or computer guys. Apparently you are also all welcome to church. Are you happy now?
Person 2: (shakes his head)
Person 1: I am not welcoming them. If you are so sure that they are included in the welcoming, then you welcome them. Personally I don't believe that the "everyone welcome" sign needs to be put out. It's not as though we are in a chur... (looks around) oh yeah.
Person 2: (nudges person 1)
Person 1: If you are sure we have to welcome them. (Person 2 nods) No, it's okay, I can do it. I just thought that they didn't need welcoming. I am perfectly capable of finishing the welcome. It gives me pleasure, oops, gives us pleasure, to welcome to church all of the children, students, even university students, the unemployed, the sick, the accountants and the lame, the servants and the maids. I would like to welcome everyone to church. (Person 2 just staring) No, that's it; that is as low as I am willing to go. We have some standards and I am sure that everyone has been welcomed (Person Two stares and shakes his head). We don't really have to welcome them all by name; are you sure that they are even welcome here. I didn't see their names on the list (person Two nods) Okay, who am I to argue with the list. Welcome politicians (looks at person Two who is nodding with a smile) Person 1: (through gritted teeth) welcome to the taxman and..and..and the lawyers.
Person 2: We would like to welcome everyone, all equal under the eyes of our Father as children and servants to the Lord on this, another great day. Welcome.
This is a Paul E. Russell script. Please notify him by e-mail if you choose to produce this skit, at email@example.com . The writer would also appreciate any feedback and photographs of the production.