THE GIFT By Kerrie Polkinghorne ©2010 CHARACTERS Santa Helper (elf) Girl 1 Girl 2 Gabrielle Gerard Elf 1 Elf 2 Extra Elves Niles Warwick Joseph Mary Baby Jesus…
THE GIFT
By Kerrie Polkinghorne ©2010
CHARACTERS
Santa
Helper (elf)
Girl 1
Girl 2
Gabrielle
Gerard
Elf 1
Elf 2
Extra Elves
Niles
Warwick
Joseph
Mary
Baby Jesus
Shepherd 1
Shepherd 2
Shepherd 3
Shoppers
Setting: The play is initially set in The Magic Cave in a Department Store and later moves to Santa’s Workshop at the North Pole and later still to the stable in Bethlehem where Jesus was born.
SCENE 1 – THE MAGIC CAVE, CHRISTMAS EVE-EVE (23RD DEC)
The Department Store is full of the hustle and bustle of busy shoppers. Santa and his Helper are at the Magic Cave, attending to a steady line up of excited children, ready to present their Christmas wishes on Santa’s lap.
Santa Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas Eve Eve! Only two more sleeps boys and girls! Santa’s got a busy few days ahead!
Helper You’ve had a long line to get through today, Santa.
Santa I sure have Jo, but that’s OK. After all, Christmas is all about the presents! And for me, it’s all about giving the presents out! Ho ho ho!
Helper (To the boy at the front of the line) It’s your turn now, son.
The boy steps up and sits on Santa’s lap.
Santa Hello there, young man. What’s your name?
Boy 1 Joshua.
Santa And what would you like for Christmas, Joshua?
Boy 1 I want a racing car, a Transformer, and the new Nintendo Wii.
Santa (Chuckling) The new what? Wait a minute, my helper will need to get that down. Did you get that, Jo? Racing car, Transformer, and special nappy of some kind. That’s it wasn’t it, a wee? Just kidding. Have you been a good boy this year? (Boy nods) OK then, Merry Christmas, Joshua.
Boy 1 exits and next girl sits on Santa’s lap.
Girl 1 Hi Santa! I’m Michaela!
Santa Hello Michaela, Merry Chr..
Girl 1 (Interrupting) This year for Christmas could I please have a puppy dog, a pool, the new Bratz doll, a Polly Pocket, a piano, some sparkly shoes, some textas and a mountain of Starbursts.
Santa Wow, that’s quite a list there.. do you really need all those things?
Girl 1 Yes of course. Why would I tell you otherwise?
Santa Well, I guess. But you’re going to have to promise to be really, really, extra, extra good and help a lot around the house. I don’t know if the Magic Warehouse stocks all those things at the moment but we’ll see how we go, alright?
Girl 1 (Running off) Thanks Santa!
Santa (To Helper) Goodness me! Some children are very.. optimistic! Who’s next? (To Girl 2) Hello there.. come on up here, sweetheart.
Girl 2 (Gabrielle) is a shy little girl who is wearing a gorgeous angel costume. She walks
quietly over to Santa who sits her on his lap.
Santa Don’t you look pretty in your lovely angel outfit! What’s your name?
Gabrielle Gabrielle.
Santa Gabrielle, what a lovely name. What would you like for Christmas this year, Gabrielle?
Gabrielle Nothing for me, Santa. I’m here because I have a gift for you. Here. (Hands him a star decoration)
Santa Well thank you, Gabrielle, how sweet of you! It’s very pretty.
Gabrielle It’s a lot more than that. Merry Christmas, Santa.
Gabrielle exits, leaving Santa with the star.
Santa (To Helper) Well! What do you make of that, Jo? (Helper shrugs)
Intercom Attention shoppers, the shopping centre will be closing in ten minutes. Please finalise your purchases and make your way to the checkouts. Merry Christmas and thank you for shopping at Westfield today.
Santa Wow is it that time already? Time for a few last wishes and we’ll have to call it a day folks! But I’ll see you tomorrow, and then it’s off in my sleigh to deliver all your presents. After all, that’s what Christmas is all about!
Santa puts the star decoration aside and attends to one more child. His helper packs up
while the lights start to go out and the music stops. Santa and helper start to make their
way out of the store.
Helper What a day, Santa. According to my records, you got sat on by two hundred and twenty-eight backsides.
Santa Ho ho ho! And I bet that number will be doubled tomorrow – Christmas Eve is always hectic. But now it’s back to the North Pole to deliver today’s gift list. (Realising he’s forgotten it) Oops! Nearly forgot the list! You go on ahead and I’ll just dash back to get it.
Helper exits and Santa returns to the Magic Cave to grab the list. Upon doing so he notices
the star decoration that Gabrielle gave him. He goes to pick it up, and the moment he does, a rustling sound is heard behind a Christmas tree, which causes him to drop it. The sound stops. Santa looks around cautiously, then slowly picks up the star. Again the sound is heard, and then stops. Thinking it might be a robber, Santa grabs a giant candy cane as a defence weapon, tip-toeing toward the sound. He pulls the Christmas tree away and is about to strike, the man shrieking in fear. He is exquisitely dressed with fine jewels, and a posh accent.
Gerard (Cowardly) Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!
Santa (Weapon poised) Put your hands up!
Gerard looks bewildered at the candy cane weapon, then proceeds to put his hands up.
You’re meticulously well-dressed for a robber, don’t you think?
Gerard Quite right, quite right. Indeed I am not what you call a robber, a thief, a pick-pocketer, a bandit, crook or burglar. Nay - my name is Gerard.
Santa Santa Claus. (Putting the weapon down, and suddenly panicking) Oh no.. are you the manager? I’m terribly sorry sir for the misundersta..
Gerard No no, I’m nothing of the sort. I’m actually a bit lost. To be more precise, I’ve lost something, and I’m trying to discover the whereabouts of its misplacement.
Santa Oh OK, well what is it Gerard? I might be able to help you out.
Gerard Well essentially, if you break it down, it’s defined as a celestial body of hot gases that radiates energy derived from thermonuclear reactions in the interior.
Santa (Confused) Right. (Looking around) Nope. Nothing here.
Gerard Oh my apologies, let me break it down for you in terms that are much more comprehensible to the layperson. .. It’s one of those self-radiating twinkly things that are visible at night from the Earth. (Still no response) What’s the word?.. A star.
Santa Oh a star.. why didn’t you just say that? Well, stars are generally found outside, Gerry. Maybe try that.
Gerard It’s Gerard thank you Clausy, and no it’s a different star. According to my astrological calculations it’s in this vicinity somewhere. And it’s very, very, very special.
Santa (Realising and hiding the star in his pocket) Special, is it? OK.. let’s have a look around.. (quickly looks around) No, sorry, no sign of any star. Sorry about that Gerry, better luck next time. I gotta go - poles to be and elves to see, you know! Ta ta! (Exits)
Gerard It’s Gerard you giant redskin!
FADE OUT.
SCENE 2 – SANTA’S WORKSHOP, THE NORTH POLE
Santa’s workshop is humming with activity as the elves busily craft, wrap and pack
presents, ready for tomorrow night’s despatch. Santa enters joyfully.
Santa Ho ho ho! Good evening everyone!
All Good evening Santa!
Santa How are things coming along this evening?
Elf 1 Good evening sir, we are right on schedule for tomorrow night’s departure. The reindeer are in top shape and we’re just about to hit two million presents.
Santa Very good, very good all of you.
Elf 2 Santa, do you have today’s list with you sir?
Santa Ah yes, the list. Here you go. Nearly forgot it though.. I’m losing my marbles a bit these days!
Santa hands Elf 2 the gift list, who takes it away for processing. Santa inspects the work
being done, but is distracted by a noise coming from behind a Christmas tree. It sounds
like men talking, with the occasional “ssh!”. Santa goes over to the tree and moves it,
revealing Gerard and two others, in similar smart attire. They stand frozen, like deer in
headlights.
Gerard (Pause) ..Enchanting evening, isn’t it?
Santa Gerard! What are you doing here? And who are these two?
Gerard Oh how very discourteous of me. Santa please allow me to introduce to you two fellow colleagues, Niles and Warwick.
N & W Good evening Mr Claus/Greetings Sir/How do you do/It’s a pleasure; etc.
Santa Are you stalking me or something? This is private property you know! Elves! Please escort these men to the gates.
Gerard Oh no please Santa! Forgive our uncouth intrusion, please allow us to offer an explanation! It is not you we are stalking, but rather the aforementioned celestial body of hot gases that radiates energy derived from thermonuclear reactions in the interior.
Santa looks at them blankly.
Warwick The star, sir.
Santa Oh yes the star. Well, I already told you Gerard, I don’t know where it is.
Gerard On the contrary, sir. We have reason to believe that it resides in the side compartment of your slacks.
Santa looks at them blankly.
Niles Your pocket, sir.
Santa waits for a moment, then gives in.
Santa Oh fine, fine, whatever. (Takes it out) Here, you have it, if it will stop you obsessing over it.
Gerard (Shocked) Oh no sir, we don’t want the star! We simply want to track it.
Warwick What he means, sir..
Santa (Interrupting) I know what tracking means. But what I don’t understand is what on earth you’re on about. Have you been overdosing on egg nog?
Gerard As delicious and nutritious as the protein-rich beverage may be, I assure you that’s not the case, sir.
Warwick We’ve only had two, and they were on the way. Very nice indeed.
Santa (Frustrated) You’re testing my patience men, I suggest you get to your point fast. (Puts star back in pocket)
Niles We are astrologers from the far East, sir. We have been pursuing this particular star for months, as we have reason to believe it will lead us to something extraordinary. Something unique. Something incredible!
Warwick It is our solitary mission and we will follow it for time immemorial if that it what’s necessary, sir!
Santa What do you want me to do with it, then?
Gerard We simply want you to do with it what you would have otherwise done, had we not contaminated the situation.
Santa looks at them blankly
Niles At ease. Carry on. Just act naturally. Go back to doing whatever it was you were doing, with no regard to our presence.
Warwick We will simply watch from a distance.
Santa You’ll watch? Watch what?
Gerard You sir. We will keep an eye on the star at all times, which we have noticed you returned to your pocket using your right thumb and index finger. We guarantee that our presence will not disturb standard workshop procedures.
Santa Whatever, I don’t have time for this. I’ve got work to do. I’ll deal with you three at the end of the night.
Gerard Very good sir. Fabulous sir.
Santa goes back to checking up on things and helping elves do their work, the three men
watching his every move.
Warwick Pray tell, what is that astonishing contraption, Santa? I do love the colours, though red and green are a little cliché, don’t you think?
Santa tries to ignore.
Niles That workbench is an Occupational Health, Welfare and Safety hazard waiting to happen, don’t you think Warwick?
Warwick Quite right, quite right. I do hope there are no accidents.
Santa is getting more and more agitated.
Gerard I do hope these elves are getting paid the award rate. What is the current going rate, Santa?
Santa snaps.
Santa OK that’s it! I’m getting rid of this stupid star so you can leave me alone once and for all.. (He goes to take the star out of his pocket, but it’s gone.) Um.. (Looking around)
Gerard The star! Where’s the star? What’s happened to it?!
Santa (Sheepishly) It must’ve fallen out my pocket when I was packing gift boxes. Except I have no idea which box it fell into.. And they’ve all been taken out for despatch with the two million others.
Gerard Two million?! We’re doomed!
N & W (All panicking) What a travesty!/It’s a catastrophe!/Epic fail!/What a world!
Santa I’m sorry lads. There’s nothing we can do. And we won’t allow you to tamper with any of the boxes. They’re going straight into the houses of boys and girls across the world tomorrow night, care of Operation Rudolph.
Gerard (Thinking for a moment) Then by obvious conclusion, we’ll simply have to accompany you on your journey.
Santa Wait.. what? There’s no way you’re coming with me. There’s not enough room on the sleigh and the reindeers simply wouldn’t be able to do their rounds in time with all the excess weight.
Gerard Nonsense! It will be done. Tomorrow eve we will meet our destiny – the starred box will lead us to the Saviour!
Santa The who?
Warwick The Messiah. The promised one.
Niles The King! His name shall be Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. He will rule from the throne of his ancestor David, and his kingdom will never end!
Santa (Sarcastically) Oh yes! I do recall him sitting on my lap! Yes that’s right.. his wish was to behead the three stooges with funny accents. Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me, I have some serious sheep to count before a long day ahead.
Gerard Santa, we beg you. What time shall we meet for departure tomorrow eve?
Santa hesitates for a moment, then resigns.
Santa Be here at 10 p.m. sharp. Do not be late.
Gerard Roger that sir. See you at Twenty-two hundred hours tomorrow for Operation Rudolph. ‘Til then sleep tight and let ye not the bed bugs bite.
Santa Get lost.
FADE OUT.
SCENE 3 – THE MAGIC CAVE, CHRISTMAS EVE
Business is hectic at the department store, with shoppers swarming in and out like
headless chooks. The line of children at the Magic Cave is growing longer by the minute.
Santa is acting very strangely, running everywhere and speaking quickly, frantically
rushing through children.
Santa What’s your name little girl?
Girl 2 Well, it’s..
Santa That’s a lovely name. And what would you like for Christmas this year dear?
Girl 2 Could I please have a..
Santa A barbie doll – sure thing darling. You got that, Jo? (Rushing Girl off his lap) Malibu Barbie for the cute little girl here. Next!
Helper Santa! Slow down a bit! The kids have been getting scared.. and I think that one wet his pants.
Santa Oh nonsense Jo.. kids are always wetting their pants and crying about things. I’m on a tight schedule.. I need to leave right on nine so I can be at the North Pole for lift-off at nine-thirty.
Helper Didn’t you tell the three stooges ten o’clock?
Santa Yes.. well, I’ve got a job to do and those jokers are simply going to ruin everything. I can’t afford to make that sacrifice. After all, Christmas is about presents, not a celestial body of hot gases and peace princes!
Helper Good plan, Santa. (Rushing) Who’s next please? Hurry up! Quickly! (Pushing kids along)
Boy 2 Hello Santa!
Santa (Still rushing) Hi kid, what’ll it be? Jo can we get dot points only from now on please?
Boy 2 I’d like a new heart for my uncle Simon, who has had three big operations and is very sick..
Santa spots a girl in an angel outfit and races after her, dropping the boy.
Santa Hey you there! Hey! Yep sure kid.. new Operation Board game.. no worries.. Gabrielle.. stop! (He reaches the girl only to find it’s not Gabrielle.) Oh. Sorry about that. I thought you were.. never mind.
Helper (Horrified, comes over to Santa) Santa! Get a hold of yourself! What on earth is wrong with you?
Santa (Embarrassed) Nothing.. Sorry.
Helper You’ve got a line up a mile long. Let’s stick to the program, OK?
Santa Sure, yep. (Aloud) Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas everybody!
Time goes by, with Santa attending to children one by one.
Intercom Attention shoppers, as our Christmas gift to you, the shopping centre will be extending its trading hours to 10 p.m. this evening. Thank you for shopping at Westfield today, and we wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
Santa What? NO!
Helper That’s not ideal.
SCENE 4 – THE NORTH POLE
Santa enters to find the three men sitting in the sleigh carriage, map outstretched,
discussing the best route.
Gerard Here comes Santa Claus, at long last! For someone on a tight schedule you are awfully tardy you know.
Santa Don’t start, Gerard.
Gerard Never fear, the astrologers are here! We’ve mapped out a supreme flight plan, starting with Greenland and finishing in Tasmania. We don’t expect there to be any inhabitants in the Antarctic so this seems like the most convenient route.
Warwick And to preserve time I’ll take the milk and Niles will take the cookies.
Niles I’m lactose intolerant so I’ll only eat the soy ones.
Santa Hold your horses, what’s going on here? Who said you could take over my operation?
Gerard With all due respect Santa, we are astrologers and as such we have the most knowledge about intergalactic aeronautical conditions.
Santa I don’t care who you are, I’m the captain here and I say get off! All of you! Off!
They step out and Santa steps in, the elves handing him the necessary equipment and
doing the final touches before lift off.
Gerard (Dramatically) But Santa! Please don’t leave us behind! This is our life destiny and calling!
Niles Our very reason for living!
Warwick Please don’t kill us Santa! Please don’t let us die!
Santa OK that’s enough. Look, this sleigh won’t hold two million presents and the four of us. I’m only prepared to take one of you. It’s either that or nothing. You choose.
Gerard (Conferring with others, then stepping out dramatically) Very well sir. I will step up to the proverbial plate! I will do what has to be done! I will go where no man has gone before, save this extraordinary and noble captain.
Santa Shut up and get in.
Gerard Woohoo! (Jumps aboard)
Santa Hold on tight, this is one sweet ride. Go Dasher, go Dancer, go Prancer and Vixen! Go Comet, go Cupid, go Donna and Blitzen! Go Rudolph, go!
SCENE 5 – OPERATION RUDOLPH
TO MUSIC: Santa and Gerard fly through the night, visiting homes and delivering presents. Gerard is a novice and makes clumsy mistakes, knocking things over and nearly waking children. At the end of the night all the presents have been delivered and no sign of the so-called Saviour. (N.B. This scene could be a video scene if chosen)
SCENE 6 – THE NORTH POLE
An exhausted Santa and Gerard return to where Niles, Warwick and Helper are waiting
anxiously. They rush to meet them.
Niles Gerard! Where did the star lead you? Did you meet the Saviour? What happened?
Warwick What did he look like? What did you say? Do tell!
Gerard Sorry men. False alarm. None of the boxes led us to the Saviour.
Niles What?
Gerard Seems we were mistaken about the star after all.
Warwick But.. we can’t be! We were so sure. So many months of research and travel.
Gerard I’m sorry Warwick. It’s time to go home now.
Santa (To Helper) Jo, the reindeer are calling it a night. Can you send them off to their usual spot for a rest?
Helper Certainly sir. (Exits)
Gerard My sincerest apologies Mr Claus for the inconvenience we have caused.
Santa Don’t worry about it Gerard.
Gerard We wish you all the very best for your future endeavours. Come men, we must return to our Eastern home.
The Helper rushes back with a gift box.
Helper Santa! I was just about to fly the reindeer off when I found this – it must’ve fallen behind the seat or something.
Gerard The star! Hoorah!
The three men cheer.
Santa What name does it have on it?
Helper (Looking) The Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Santa (To the men) Everyone in!
Niles But where are we going?
Santa Jo was about to send them off to their favourite resting spot in Bethlehem. What do you know about that?
Gerard “In Bethlehem of Judah, you are not just a lowly village of Judah, for a ruler will come from you who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.” Let us go henceforth and worship him!
Santa I’m driving.
FADE OUT.
SCENE 7 – BETHLEHEM
The group arrives in Bethlehem, but it’s nothing like what they expected. It’s quiet, dusty and smelly.
Niles It certainly is quiet around here.
Warwick Isn’t there a census happening here?
Santa Ah yes, but it’s the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse.
Gerard Where are we supposed to go precisely?
Santa Not really sure, Jo usually does this job.
Gerard And you didn’t consider it worthwhile to ask him for directions?
Santa I forgot, OK.
A baby’s cry is heard in the distance.
Gerard This way, follow me! (They all exit.)
SCENE 8 – STABLE
The three men enter an animal stable and look around. They see two teenagers and a
baby, wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a manger.
Gerard (Quietly) Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us’.”
The men open the gift box to find the star, as well as gold, frankincense and myrrh. They
present the gifts to Joseph and bow before the baby Jesus.
Warwick Jesus, king of the Jews. We worship you and bow before you.
Santa is peeking in, trying not to be seen. The reverent moment is soon broken by a hoard
of shepherds, who bust in, bringing Santa in with them. He tries to hide behind people and
animals.
Shepherd 1 Blimey, here he is! We made it, fellas!
Shepherd 2 Strewth! Sorry to bust in like this everybody. This must be the special little tacker.
Mary Yes this is Jesus, our son. God’s son.
Shepherd 3 Oh he’s gorgeous. Boy do we have a story to tell!
Shepherd 1 Let me tell it. It happened just tonight when we were out in the paddock rounding up the Jumbucks. There we were, minding our Ps and Qs, you know how it is. Then all of a sudden, cazam! This big white sheila come out of nowhere!
Shepherd 2 She was an angel, eh.
Shepherd 1 I’m telling the story!
Shepherd 2 Ah shut yer cakehole.
Shepherd 1 Anyway this angel was bright like the sun, scared us half to death, it was a corker! She said “Don’t be afraid! I bring you good news of great joy for everyone! The Saviour – yes, the Messiah, the Lord – has been born tonight in Bethlehem, the city of David! And this is how you will recognise him: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Shepherd 3 Then suddenly, the angel was joined by a whole crew, like the armies of heaven. They were all praising God, saying “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom he is pleased.”
Shepherd 1 So I was like, “strewth!”
Shepherd 2 We decided to come to Bethlehem to see this amazing thing that the Lord had told us about.. and here you are.
Shepherd 1 What should we call you.. sir, your highness, your majesty..
Joseph His name is Jesus.
Shepherd 1 Jesus – what an honour.
The shepherds bow, exposing Santa who is trying to hide.
Joseph You there.. what are you doing behind there?
Santa Who.. me? Um, I was just..
Joseph No need to be shy, come out.
Santa stands up and comes closer.
Santa Hi there.. Santa’s the name. (Shakes Joseph’s hand)
Joseph Joseph. And this is my wife Mary.
Santa How do you do ma’am. Sorry I best be going.. I’m not really in the right place.
Joseph Not at all. Please stay.
Santa Well, actually, my job is done for the night. I’m a gift-giver, you see, and I believe Christmas is all about gifts. Yes I spend many hours, many days, and many months making, sorting and delivering gifts to people all over the world. It’s really a very busy job, one that needs me to be on task and alert twenty-four hours a day. So with that in mind, I really must be off..
Mary approaches him with the baby Jesus.
Mary Merry Christmas. (She hands the baby to him, before he has a chance to object)
Santa Um.. I.. what are you doing? (He looks into the baby’s eyes) Hello.. Jesus. (Pause) You have very nice eyes. Do you see what I see? (He looks around) I see reverent men on their knees in worship. (He pauses, then kneels with the baby in his arms) I hear you are the Saviour of the world. (Pause, then whispers) Can you save me? (The others freeze)
[Music]
SCENE 9 – DEPARTMENT STORE
Intercom Attention shoppers, as our Christmas gift to you, the shopping centre will be extending its trading hours to 10 p.m. this evening. Thank you for shopping at Westfield today, and we wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
Santa is kneeling with the baby Jesus in his hands. He is in the centre of the shopping
centre Nativity Scene, with busy shoppers all around. Santa is broken out of the freeze by
a familiar voice.
Gabrielle Santa? Are you OK?
Santa (Placing baby in manger and standing up) Hello Gabrielle. You got your wish.
Gabrielle I know.
Santa steps out of the Nativity Scene and sits down next to Gabrielle.
Santa I met someone. Someone very special. And I realised that Christmas is not about giving. It’s about the Gift. And I’ve been too busy giving to stop and receive it for myself. But now I will. And I’m going to help others do the same. (He stands up and addresses the shoppers) Merry Christmas everyone! No gift lists today, I’m going to tell you about the best gift you’ll ever get. His name is Jesus Christ and He is the Saviour of the world! (Exits)
FADE OUT.
© Kerrie Polkinghorne, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the internet without written permission from the author.
The play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. She may be contacted at
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