Scene 1: The Wexler living room (Setting: Mom, Douglas, Christy and Jeff and all standing in the living room. A Christmas tree glows in the corner, with a variety of…
Scene 1: The Wexler living room
(Setting: Mom, Douglas, Christy and Jeff and all standing in the living room. A Christmas tree glows in the corner, with a variety of wrapped packages set underneath. It’s a typical living room in suburbia - couch, chairs, end table, lamp, etc. Off to one side is a coat closet. An evergreen branch protrudes through the garments (an artificial Christmas tree branch works well) The family is obviously in an uproar. It’s Christmas eve at 6:30 pm.)
Mom, agitatedly: I’ve already told you three times, we ARE going to the Christmas eve service at grandma’s church tonight!
Christy: Grandma doesn’t care if we go. I don’t want to go!
Jeff: Me either. Why can’t we open some presents instead?
Douglas: Dan’s mom doesn’t make him go to services. Why do we have to go?
Mom: I PROMISED your grandmother I would get you there this year. For some reason she thinks it is really important that I take you to this service. She didn’t say why - but you know how your grandmother is. Are you sure you want to take a chance on not getting your presents from her this year?
Christy: You mean. . . like, if we don’t go, we’re not getting our presents?
Douglas: (to Christy) What are you, deaf? That’s what she just said. .. duh!
Mom: Enough. I want all three of you to go get your coats on right now. I’ve got to go start the dishwasher, and grandma should be here any minute to pick us up. I don’t want grandma to see this ATTITUDE.
Jeff: Come on, guys. We might as well get this over with.
Douglas: (as if under his breath) This is the last time!!
(The three turn and head for the closet. Mom exits stage. The three come to the closet and stop short.)
Douglas: (Peering at the weird, lone branch sticking out of the closet) Um, guys, is that really ah. . .ah. . . um. . . a. . .
Jeff: Pine branch?
Douglas: Yeah. Pine branch. Is this one of your stupid jokes, Christy?
Christy, to Douglas: Very funny. You know you did this, and you probably told mom that I did, didn’t you?
Douglas: You always blame me for everything. But this time, I really didn’t do this.
Jeff: I’m going in.
Christy: I think we should tell mom.
Jeff: Mom’s gonna say we’re stalling, and she’ll just yell at us again.
Douglas: For once the shrimp is right. I say let’s find out what this is all about. I’ll go first.
(Douglas steps up to the closet and tries to peer through the coats very cautiously. Meanwhile, Christy leans up close to him quietly and suddenly, and loudly yells)
Christy: BOO!
(Douglas panics and lunges through the coats yelling)
Douglas: AGH!
Jeff: Where’d he go?
Christy: I don’t know. I was just kidding.
Jeff: Douglas? You there? Come on, stop playing around! Come on out!
Christy: I’m going in!
Jeff: Don’t leave me here!
Christy: You STAY PUT, or mom will have my head!
Jeff: NO.
Christy: YES!
(Jeff, before Christy can even blink, lunges through the coats.)
Christy: JEFF YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE! (pause) Jeff? Jeff? (pause) Boys! They never listen!
(Christy plunges through the coats. Lights go down, scene concludes.)
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