Summary: A Heavenly version of Deal or No Deal, where the contestant sees the contents of each case and has to decide it it’s the “right way” to get into Heaven. Keywords: Salvation, game show
Style: Light-hearted. Duration: 8min
Characters: 1M, 2M/F, 3F
Cast
Announcer: Introduces show and Howie (can be done off set with a mic).
Howie Deal or No Deal host [having him wear a bald skull cap and a fake “soul patch” usually gets a good laugh].
Howie’s lovely ladies: Three girls holding briefcases [we used clean pizza boxes] [We used three young girls from Sunday School, who got to dress up for the part. This eliminated any issues of sensuality that the actual show has with the models].
Contestant: Person playing Deal or No Deal.
Scene
(Set up some sort of podium for the Contestant to stand at. Have some type of touch light on the podium, to be the “Deal/No Deal” button. The three young girls stand in a line near or above contestant, if you have a stage area. It also helps to have a few people “planted” in the congregation that know ahead of time to cheer and shout advice to the contestant. Usually, everyone else catches on quickly.)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to this special edition of Salvation Deal or No Deal. Now, let’s welcome the host of Salvation Deal or No Deal, Howie!
Howie: [Comes up on stage, waves to audience] Hello everyone, and welcome to this special edition of Salvation Deal or No Deal. I’m Howie and this is today’s contestant, [name]. Welcome to the show [name].
Contestant: Thanks Howie! Glad to meet you! [sticks out hand]
Howie: [backing away] Ah, careful. We don’t touch Howie. [Howie Mandel has admitted that he has OCD and doesn’t like to be touched. You can skip this bit if you don’t think anyone would get it]. Let’s review the rules of this special Deal or No Deal. [Name], you will pick a suitcase from one of these lovely young ladies and when it’s opened, if you think the answer contained inside the case is the guaranteed way to get into heaven then simply hit the light and say “Deal.” If you think the answer inside the case is incorrect then say no No Deal. Got it?
Contestant: Got it. I’m ready!
Howie: Then let’s begin. [Turns on light button] What is the first case you want opened?
Contestant: I want case number one.
Howie: Lovely young lady number one, [pause] open your case.
[case number one opens and it says GOOD WORKS]
Contestant: [Excitedly] Yes, I won; that’s it! I’ve won already! That’s the answer to getting into heaven. I’m always volunteering for projects around church. And it just so happens I recently donated all sorts of money to the non-profit Pastor [name] Retirement Fund. (We’re trying to hurry it up). I’ll take that case. [Reaches to hit light]
Audience: No! Don’t do it! [Maybe a couple “take the deals” too]
Howie: Are you sure? I really don’t think good works gets anyone into heaven.
Contestant: Really? Well, ok, No Deal.
[Audience cheers]
Howie: Okay then, what will be your next choice?
Contestant: I think I’ll chose case number two.
Howie: Lovely young lady number two [pause] open your case.
[Case says BAPTISM AND CONFIRMATION]
Contestant: Wow, thank goodness I didn’t pick case number one. This is obviously the correct case. Howie you’re looking at a guy that has been sprinkled, dunked, dipped, splashed and super soakered! I’ve gone through three different churches confirmation classes just to make sure I had all my bases covered. I want that case. [Reaches to hit light]
Howie: Hmmmm, you might want to think about it a little more. Are you sure this is the right choice?
[Audience yells more “No deal’ encouragement]
Contestant: Wow, Howie this is tough. Ok No Deal!
Howie: Good idea. So, what case are you going to choose now?
Contestant: [Looks at last remaining case] I know a trend when I see one. Let’s go with case number three.
Howie: Lovely young lady number three [pause] open your case.
[Case says WENT TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY]
Contestant: What was I thinking? This is it. And here I am! Not only do I go to church (almost) every Sunday, but I actually pay attention, and I hardly ever heckle the pastor (out loud, anyway). I bet that earns me extra points. This has got to be the Deal! [reaches for light]
[Audience] No, don’t do it!
Howie: Sorry [name], but you better think again. I’m pretty sure just showing up at church won’t do it.
Contestant: Well, okay. No Deal. But what do I do now? We’re out of lovely young ladies.
Howie: Well, I happen to have a super secret, special case, just for this show. Would you like to take a look at it? [pulls out another case]
Contestant: Well, since all the others were No Deal, sure. Howie [pause] open the case
[Case reads KNOWING JESUS]
Howie: Well, what do you think? Deal or No Deal?
Contestant: That’s it? Knowing Jesus? Can it be that simple?
[Audience]
Take the Deal! Yes! Take it!
Contestant: Okay, I’m going to do it! DEAL! [hits light]
[Audience cheers]
[Sound of phone ringing]
Howie: [Pulls out cell phone] Oh, hold on. [listens to phone] It’s the big guy upstairs. [Listens some more] Uh huh, yeah. No, he took the last case. Yup, Knowing Jesus. Uh huh? Really? Okay. Well [name], you’ve made your decision. And you made [pause] A GOOD DEAL!
[Contestant and Audience cheer. Contestant can then run off stage, maybe hug family or friends]
Howie: That’s all the time we have today on Salvation Deal or No Deal. And remember, this is a game everyone can play, and if you make the right choice, everyone can win! Good night everybody!
[Howie and ladies move off stage]
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© Copyright Bob Grinsell and Tom Rivard, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
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