Summary: Two friends debate the meaning of life (or not). Originally written as an intro to a Year 10 lesson where Religious Education tends to become more philosophy, this sketch can be used in a variety of settings. Done in the style of British comedy duo Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
Style: Light-hearted. Duartion: 6min
Actors: 2M
Characters: Pete, Andy
Script
(Andy reading book)
Pete: You know you can’t help wondering, Andy.
Andy: (Annoyed at interruption) Oh yeah. Wondering. Know what you mean…. About what, Pete?
Pete: You know, what’s it all about.
Andy: Err… well since you ask (showing book) the history of Swindon Town Football Club. All the great moments. Fairly shortish book as it happens.
Pete: What? What are you raving about? What’s Swindon Town got to do with it?
Andy: You asked me what the book was about.
Pete: Not the book, you fool. I’m asking what’s it all about. It’s one of the big questions of philosophy.
Andy: Oh well you’ve come to the right man then. I used to be into stamp collecting in a big way when I was a kid. Always my ambition to get a penny black or a penny magenta.
Pete: What? What are you raving about?
Andy: Like you said. Philosophy. Stamp collecting.
Pete: Philosophy, you idiot. Not philately.
Andy: Philately. What’s that?
Pete: Stamp collecting. Your hobby. Remember.
Andy: So that’s what it’s called. I always wondered. …..some of my friends think it’s a hobby for billy- no- friends. They think that’s why I do it.
Pete: They might have a point.
Andy: Is that why they say philately will get you nowhere?
Pete: What? I really do despair of you sometimes. That’s flattery will get you nowhere. And why are we talking about you and stamp collecting anyway. I’m talking about philosophy.
Andy: Oh right. And that would be what?
Pete: What’s it all about.
Andy: Yeah, well that was what I was asking you. What’s it all about?
Pete: No, no. That’s philosophy. It is enquiry as to the nature of things, the purpose of life. In short, what’s it about?
Andy: Oh right.
Pete: It has occupied the greatest minds for thousands of years. Your Aristotle, your Plato, your …your..
Andy: Sofercles.
Pete: Who?
Andy: Sofercles.
Pete: It’s Sophocles, you fool.
Andy: I knew that. Him too.
Pete: Well, they all pondered the great questions of life. What’s it all about? Where did I come from. Where am I going?
Andy: Look at your train ticket.
Pete: What?
Andy: Look at your train ticket. Look - it’s on there. Where you’ve come from… where you’re going to. See: London-Salisbury..return.
Pete: I don’t mean transportation wise. I mean in general. In life. What is the purpose?
Andy: Very similar, I imagine. You’ve come from somewhere.
Pete: Like London.
Andy: Or from somewhere else…And you’re going somewhere.
Pete: Oh right. ‘Xcept there’s no return…
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© Andy Lund, all rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged.
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