Summary: A short, humorous sketch about the stresses and strains of everyday life. Keywords: Patience, consumerism, shopping.
Style: Lighthearted. Duration: 3min
Actors: 1M, 1F
Woman and Man
(Setting: a supermarket checkout queue. Throughout the woman is flustered and stressed, becoming increasingly manic and agitated. By contrast, the man remains calm and unaffected, responding almost neutrally, until his last line.)
Woman: Oh look, we’re in the wrong queue. You always choose the wrong queue.
Man: What do you mean?
Woman: You always choose the slow one. Look at them, they’re going much faster than us.
Man: Yes, that’s the express queue.
Woman: Well, what about that one then? I bet we’ve got the trainee cashier. You always choose the one with the trainee cashier.
Man: Just calm down. You won’t make it go any faster. There’s plenty of time.
Woman: No, there isn’t. I’ve got Jazzercise in half an hour, then I’ve got to pick the kids up.
Woman: Now, have we got everything? I’ll just check the list. Tea, coffee, cornflakes, dog food… Flora. Have you got the Flora? You forgot it last week.
Man: No I didn’t. I never get…
Woman: (rummaging through shopping trolley) Look, there you go. It isn’t there. You’ve forgotten it again.
Man: Here, excuse me, will you leave my shopping alone! I never buy Flora.
Woman: Eh? Hang on a minute. (examines the man) You’re not my husband. Now I’ve lost my husband. John? John? Where are you, John?
© Copyright Daniel Carlson, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.