Summary: A game show provides an easy, painless and fun way to give to others. Written for "Faith Promise" Sunday Morning. Demonstrates mission statistics and visions. Key words: The Great Commission • Faith Promise • Giving • Game Show • Missions • Prizes • Money • Hypocrisy
Style: Apparently light-hearted, but with underlying drama. Duration: 8min
Actors: 3M/F, 1VO, 10+V
Characters:
Host - Rich Youngman, stereotypical game show host
Mary Missionary, pretty normal. Chuckie Churchman, a little not normal. Johnny. Just a voice.
2 Assistants (no lines) & 11 "volunteers", possibly from the audience, depending on your nerve.
Staging: Two contestants standing behind a table and the game show host walking around with a microphone.
Props: Buzzer system. Applause signs. Items identifiable with the peoples of the various continents. Loaves of bread.
Script
(Game show music begins as stage is set and announcer begins.)
JOHNNY: Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to THE GREAT COMMISSION! The game show that doesn't worry with toasters or refrigerators. No, this game show Feeds-the-world!
(Chuckie Churchman enters stage, proceeds to contestant's stand.)
Contestant #1 is now entering the studio. Meet Chuckie Churchman. He is from [your town]. He has intended to go on two church sponsored mission trips, but just hasn't gotten around to it yet.
(Mary Missionary enters stage and proceeds to contestant's stand.)
Contestant #2 is Mary Missionary. Mary has spent most of her life in mission work, coming home every now and then trying to get more money out of the churches.
And now, here's your host of THE GREAT COMMISSION, Rich Youngman!
(Assistants hold up applause signs.)
RICH: Thank you Johnny. Thank you studio audience. As you know, the contestants on THE GREAT COMMISSION don't play for themselves, and don't keep the prizes they win.
Assistants begin bringing ten "volunteers" to the stage. That's right, they give all they win to selected needy people. Some of these needy people are now being brought to the stage by our assistants. Johnny, who are our selected needy people today?
JOHNNY: Rich, today's prize recipients will be ... THE WHOLE WORLD! But, since the Whole World won't fit on our stage, our beautiful assistants are going through the audience right now to recruit volunteers to represent all the peoples of the world.
RICH: All-right! Let's explain to our TV audience what's going on.
(Divide the "volunteers" as Rich describes. Appropriate props should be given to each group to hold or wear. Use a child or adult on knees to represent one-half person.)
RICH: These people will represent all the peoples of the world, proportionally like this -- If there were only 10 people in the world, 6 of them would be Asian, 1 would be Latin American, 1 would be African, 1 and one-half would be European, and one-half would be North American. These are the people you contestants will be playing for today. Mary, since you are the missionary, you'll be playing for the needy people on the foreign mission fields. Chuckie, you'll be playing for all of North America.
Now, let's get on with today's game. Contestants, Are you ready?
MARY: Yes, I am.
CHUCKIE: Yessir. Ah, I'd like to buy a vowel.
RICH: Sorry, Chuckie. Wrong show.
CHUCKIE: Sorry. I'm just so excited. I've never had a chance to help people like this before.
RICH:
Whatever you say, Chuckie. Now, get ready to answer the first question...
How many foreign missions are supported by [Your church]?
(Mary buzzes in first.)
RICH: Mary!
MARY: We support [##], including [list some of your supported missions].
RICH:
That's right. Johnny, tell us what she's won for her selected needy people.
JOHNNY: A New Loaf of Bread! Brown on the outside and white on the inside, this loaf of bread is made especially to be eaten by the needy people of the world.
RICH: All right, Mary. Who gets that loaf of bread?
MARY: Well, they all could use it. Let's give it to Asia!
RICH: Good choice, MARY:. Asia now has one loaf of bread. All right players, here's question #2. This question is worth 1 and one-half loafs of bread:
How often does [your church] have a big Missions push? (Chuck buzzes in first.) Chuckie!
CHUCKIE: At least once a month!
RICH: It may seem that way, Chuckie, but that's not right. Mary, do you know the answer?
MARY: Once a year with [whatever you call your Faith Promise drive]. This year's theme is [Whatever this year's theme is].
RICH: That's right, Mary. You've won another 1 and one-half loaf! Where does the bread go this time?
MARY: Uh, I think... Latin America.
RICH: Good answer, good answer! OK, this next question is pretty easy so it's only good for one-half loaf of bread... How much money did [your church] give to missions in the 1990s [Or other time frame]? (Mary buzzes in first.) Mary?
MARY: $[However much your church gave in the 90s or other time frame]!
RICH: That's right, Mary. Now who get's the half loaf?
MARY: Wow. This is hard. How about... Africa! They need food.
RICH: Yes, they do, Mary, and now you've given them some. Very good! All right. Here's question #4. This is a toughie and is worth 3 loafs of bread: What is the theme for this year's Faith Promise at [your church]? (Both players try to buzz, Mary misses and Chuckie gets in first.) Chuckie!
CHUCKIE: Uh, Show Us The Money?
RICH: No Chuckie, you got the wrong show, again. Mary?
MARY: [Whatever your theme is]. (Kind of to herself.) I think I already said that.
RICH: That's right again! OK Mary, all your needy people have bread already, except Europe. So Europeans, YOU take the lead with 3 loafs! Our last Question is a BIBLE BONUS Question and is worth FOUR loafs of bread, AND all the Bibles you can carry, so, Chuckie, you still have a chance to get back in it. Here we go:
On the day of Pentecost, what form of transportation did the Apostles use?
(Mary looks incredulous, Chuckie buzzes in.) Chuckie!
CHUCKIE: Uh... a Honda!
RICH: I Beg your pardon?
CHUCKIE: A Honda. The Bible says the Apostles were all in one Accord!
RICH: Judges. Can we accept that? (Judges' bell indicates approval.)
RICH: Guess you can't argue with scriptures. Chuckie, go get your bread and your Bibles, and Johnny, tell us about that final score.
JOHNNY: Gladly Rich. Mary Missionary won 6 loafs of bread for her 9 & one-half people, and Chuckie Churchman won only 4 for his needy people in North America. However, he did win the bonus question, so his people also get... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ... it looks like 8 Bibles to read. Mary's people get the other 2 Bibles. Looks like another good day for THE GREAT COMMISSION!
(Mary buzzes until recognized.)
MARY: Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. This isn't right. It isn't fair.
RICH: What isn't, Mary? You won, didn't you?
MARY: What are you talking about? My people have to share their food with far more people than North America. And I didn't get enough Bibles for each of my people to get even 1. His people got 4 Bibles each and 2 loafs of Bread each.
RICH: It's OK, Mary. You did the best you could. Besides, that's just the way it is in the real world. We can't do anything about it.
MARY: What do you mean you can't do anything about it? Why can't you?!
RICH: (Like caught in a trick question. Theme music begins.) Because we're all out of TIME! Thanks contestants, thanks needy people of the world, and thanks to our studio audience. Remember, THE GREAT COMMISSION feeds the world!
(Music up and out.)
JOHNNY: A promotional fee has been paid by the Colonial Baking Company.
..............................................
By John Wayne Samples, ©1996 JSam Communications,
This script is available at no charge to church theatre groups who do not charge to watch the performance, and who include the author's details in an appropriate credit.